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Show Mental Health By Dr. Val Farmer Family meals help teens One casualty of modern life has been the demise of family meals. Why? Mothers are working. Schedules are harried and often don't match. Workdays are longer. The microwave is easy. Fast foods are available. Children's after school activities cut into the late afternoon. af-ternoon. Constantly hungry teenagers eat when they're hungry. So is this any big deal? Yes, according ac-cording to psychologists Blake Bowden of the Cincinnati Center for Development Disorders and Jennie Zeisz of DePaul University. In a study of 537 rural and semi-rural teens age 12-18 in northeastern Ohio, they found that "adjusted" teens had sit-down family meals an average of 5.4 days per week. "Non-adjusted" youth had family meals an average of 3.3 days per week. Bowden and Zeisz used four factors fac-tors to classify teens into "adjusted" and "non-adjusted" categories: 1) academic motivation, 2) use or non-use non-use of substances, 3) positive or negative peer group influence, and 4) self reports of positive mood and hopefulness versus depression and defeat. The number of days per week when family meals are served accurately accu-rately predicted which teens would be adjusted or maladjusted 75 percent per-cent of the time. Hold on to your hats folks. Bowden and Zeisz found that family meals were a more powerful pow-erful predictor of adjustment than whether a teen was a member of traditional married two-parent family fami-ly or non-traditional family arrangement. arrange-ment. Now that is interesting! Bowden and Zeisz cite previous research that showed that intergen-erational intergen-erational alcoholism was highly correlated with fewer family mealtimes. meal-times. Another study showed that students who did better in elementary elemen-tary school had more at-home meals with family members. Why is the family meal so important? impor-tant? By itself, the family meal may not be that important. It may be another an-other example of good parenting and fit an overall pattern of commitment, commit-ment, organization and nurturing. It is a visible manifestation of other things the family is doing well. Food is important in the development devel-opment of attachment. In some previous pre-vious columns I have referred to how important food is to parentchild bonding in infancy, courtship, holidays, community celebration cel-ebration and to nuturing a marriage. The basic idea is that the good feelings feel-ings and pleasure from eating are associated with the provider of the food. Food is very important to our teenage son. He depends on us for easy food access and preparation. His need for food-and lots of it-brings it-brings him to our table where we try to connect on other levels. Even with his desire for autonomy, he chooses not to pull too far away from the provider of his food. Family meals are a sign of the parents' ability to be structured and Looking at Life Life and its distractions Dr. Ron Sathe, Pastor of First Baptist Church Webster defines distractions as being drawn to a different object. If we look to a Thesaurus, the following follow-ing words are related to distractions: distrac-tions: departure, digression, amusement, amuse-ment, desperation, frenzy and madness, mad-ness, mental confusion. Some of those words describe how many live today. An unknown author has given us, in verse form and in a rather humorous vein, the following advice: "As you travel down life's pathway. Whatever be your goal, keep your eye upon the doughnut and not on the hole." In life, there are many distracting "holes" into which we can fall. All throughout life there are people andor events which tempt us to be distracted from our goals. In this way, many have fallen away from their life's dreams. Many have lost home, family, fam-ily, and even their lives because they allowed themselves to be distracted. dis-tracted. Distractions in (he spiritual realm are also very costly. Sometimes we do not realize the seriousness of being be-ing distracted. I think of the fellow who fell off of the Empire Slate Building. As he passed each floor, he was heard to say, "Well, so far so good." Satan provides many distractions. dis-tractions. Among them are material possessions, persecution, recreation, recre-ation, hurt feelings, laziness, work, etc. Whatever it may be, some may be distracted from turning to and organized enough to pull off a family fami-ly meal in spite of the pressures to be otherwise. A family meal represents commitment com-mitment to family and nurturing children. It is a major sacrifice of energy, planning and preparation to have family meals. A commitment to family meals is a powerful indicator indi-cator of a larger commitment to all aspects of parenting-love, acceptance, accep-tance, guidance, high expectations and consistency. It's the total package pack-age that makes the difference. A family meal offers an opportunity opportu-nity for communication, social support, sup-port, coordination, instruction in values and awareness of each other's oth-er's lives. Some families even pull off stimulating conversation-admit-tedly not at every meal-and consider consid-er it a highlight of their family life. Guests at meals broaden a child's perspective and expose them to other oth-er adult viewpoints. A family meal fosters family and personal identity. This may be one of the few times when the family is together. Bowden and Zeisz mention men-tion several anthropological studies describing mealtime as a time when children and adolescents develop a narrative to explain their lives. Personally, I seldom hear my children chil-dren or many other teenagers spontaneously spon-taneously talk about the significant milestones in their lives at family meals. At certain ages, talking about their lives with parents is not their long suit. If anybody is verbalizing verbal-izing a narrative, it is probably a parent. I suppose, in some subtle way, a family meal is part of family identity identi-ty which in turn helps form personal identity. Whatever is going on, it doesn't happen at just one meal. That's why a pattern of family meals is important. Family meals are a sign of harmony har-mony in relationships. Bowden raises rais-es the possibility that having a family fami-ly meal with well-adjusted teens is a pleasant and rewarding experience. A meal with a struggling, moody teen is a turnoff. Maladjusted teens may influence whether their parents feel like fixing a family meal. Constant quibbling at mealtime about manners and eating or confrontation con-frontation on other matters spoils what could be a pleasant occasion. Many mothers are dismayed when their meal is ruined by unpleasantness unpleasant-ness at the dinner table. In fact, constant conflict at family meals may actually be a determent to family life. Conflict at mealtime probably is part of a larger pattern of family conflict that needs to be addressed away from the table. Do you want an island of family belonging and serenity in the midst of a busy and stressful world, or better adjusted teenagers? Family meals could be your meal ticket to success. For those who have internet access, ac-cess, http:www.threadimages.com vfarmer.htm is Dr. Val Farmer's web site address. following Jesus. God, in his mercy, still often allows blessings to come into their lives and even through difficult times they manage to stiugglc by. They develop the attitude, atti-tude, "so far, so good." How do we have victory over distractions dis-tractions It is all a matter of focus. Hebrews 12:2 says: "Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross." When Christ is the center of our focus fo-cus and worship, everything will come into proper perspective. In the Arabian Nights, Sinbad the Sailor warned his shipmates about a great magnetic rock in the Indian Ocean that would draw all the nails and bolts out of passing ships. The ships would then collapse and sink. Distracting influences of this world loosen the nails and bolts that bind together our families and individual lives. Worship allows us to weekly tighten up our spiritual fasteners. Worship keeps us intact in a world that wants to pull us apart. Fix your eyes upon the Lord Jesus. When you are discouraged, seeing Jesus will encourage you! When you are lonely, seeing Jesus will give you a friend! When you grow weary and want to give up, seeing Jesus will give you strength to go on, knowing know-ing that the joy set before you will help you to endure to the end. Yes, look to Jesus Christ and worship Him for He is God and Savior. 'WilfOrd WOOClrUff God's Fisherman'' to be presented Wilford Woodruff, fourth president presi-dent of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, will appear in a one-man show in Vernal on Oct. 16, 17, 18, 20 and 21. The role of Woodruff will be portrayed by Varlo Davenport. "Tim Slover sent me the script back in 1993 when we were considering con-sidering hiring him to write a musical musi-cal about Butch Cassidy," said Varlo Davenport, "I've been wanting want-ing to do it since then, but was never nev-er able to find the time. "The photos you see of President Woodruff show a stoic, very sober-looking sober-looking man. This play is about a younger Wilford Woodruff that most people are not acquainted with. He was full of great enthusiasm enthusi-asm and endless energy, and he had some amazing experiences that are shared in the script." The play is set in the early afternoon after-noon on July 23, 1847, the day before be-fore Woodruff would drive the ailing ail-ing Brigham Young in his coach to make the famous, "This is the right place" proclamation. Wilford, who is supposed to have been the first to have fly fished in the Rocky Mountains, has just settled set-tled Young for the afternoon and is set to rig up his fishing pole and answer the question posed by the audience, "How did the son of a Yankee Miller wind up here?" With materials taken from Woodruff's diaries, speeches and family lore, the answers are cast out to the audience audi-ence in the evenings presentation. "Wilford Woodruff, God's Fisherman" is written by James Arrington and Tim Slover. r Cash in on low rates. With so many ol our loans on le u s perfect rime to get the money you need for that new roof, boat, or dream vacation. But tlie-.e ungual rates with uniiMial savings are only for a limited rime. Arrington is a noted playwright, director, di-rector, producer and actor. His works include the one person play "Here's Brother Brigham" and "The Farley Family Reunion." Tim Slover is head of the BYU Department of Theater and Film playwriting program. His two most recent works, "A March Tale" and "A Joyful Noire" have both won significant critical acclaim. In February Mr. Slover was awarded the 1997 Literary Award from the Association of Mormon Letters for "A Joyful Noise." The production will be held at the Vernal Middle School Auditorium starting at 7 p.m. each evening. Prices are $4 for adults and $2.50 for students. It is presented by the Uintah Arts Council. If you have questions call Varlo Davenport at 789-6100 or Janet Wallis at 789-1822. Utah's Luxury Lodge near Altamont www.utah.comlodRinRfalcon mi LOAN I i ZIONS Mrmlwr Vernal Express Wednesday, October 8. 1997 ! Fema,e ahlete featured Olympian Jackie Joyner-Kersee -who has been called the "world's greatest female athlete"- will be the keynote speaker at the 1997 UEA Convention, scheduled for Oct. 9 and 10 at the Salt Palace in Salt Lake City. The theme of this year's two-day conference in "Health for Success." Joyner-Kersee, a nationally-renowned nationally-renowned track and field competitor competi-tor and Olympic gold medal winner, win-ner, will speak during the opening session of the convention on Thursday, Oct. 9 at Abravanel Hall. The session begins at 9:30 a.m. After graduating from UCLA in 1985, Joyner-Kersee went on to build one of the most illustrious athletic careers in the world, earning earn-ing the title "Queen of Track and Field." Her talent netted her six Olympic medals - three gold, one silver and two bronze. She also hold the world and Olympics records in the heptathalon, as well as the American record in the long jump, 50 and 60-meter hurdles. Never one to be classified as merely an athlete, Joyner-Kersee says, "I strive to be a Jackie of all Celebrate your success with style. Schedule your company's Christmas Party today! Falcon's (435)454-3737 Premium menu and special room rates S endorsed lodge f BANK M)IC trades. I am an individual who has accomplished a great deal through athletics." She has received many prestigious awards, including the St. Louis Ambassadors Sportswoman of the Year, Sporting News Athlete of the Year Award, the Sullivan Award, and the Jesse Owens Memorial Award. But Joyner-Kersee says she is proudest of her achievement off the track. As a way of giving back to the community that supported her, she created the JJK Community Foundation, which supports the development de-velopment of leadership programs in urban areas across the United States. "When I leave this earth, I want to know I've created something some-thing that will continue to help others," oth-ers," said Joyner-Kersee. Asked about her limits, Joyner-Kersee Joyner-Kersee says she has none. In fact, she often tells audiences gathered to hear her speak that "the only person per-son who can stop you from reaching reach-ing your goals is you." Following her keynote address, Joyner-Kersee will open the convention's con-vention's youth track sessions at the Salt Palace Convention Center. Ledge b I RVTS |