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Show Boys' Ranch success story They sit on folding chairs placed in a semi-circle. There is not enough money to buy cushioned chairs. The parents that come through the door to the meeting express ex-press a mixture of emotions. Some are nervous, hesitant and a little embarrassed. Some are tentative ten-tative but relieved that they have found a place to get some answers. 1 JANIS STUART Columnist 4 A few are actually smiling, cheerful and optimistic. The one thing that these parents, single and in couples, have in common is that they have a son that was not 'making it" in the regular school system. The meeting was being held at the Utah Boys' Ranch. Twice a month the parents gathered where they knew they could find not only a sympathetic ear, but real help and education for their situation. While each child who has been brought to the Utah Boys Ranch has an individual history, there are some common frustrations the boys and their parents suffer. These are boys who did not find it difficult to sit still through classes-they found it impossible. These are boys who wanted to be liked and noticed but did not have the skills to accomplish those things in an appropriate way. The parents often had been to counselors, doctors doc-tors who prescribed medications, other doctors who prescribed other medications and more counselors. Nothing had worked. The frustration between the boys and their parents was real and painful. pain-ful. With just a little luck, most of the boys have not been in trouble with the law. ..yet. As parents attend the first meeting at the ranch, they arc raw from hurt and disappointment. They have a love in their hearts for the boys that only a parent (or person fulfilling a parenting role) can feel. They know their pain and know the child suffers as much, if not more. Most parents feel terribly guilty, first from letting someone else handle the situation and second, from relief at getting away from the boy for a while. The Utah Boys' Ranch works through all of these feelings with the parents and boys. For parents and sons who have spent hours working with little star charts, sitting sit-ting on chairs and time-outs, (programs (pro-grams that work for some children but not for these), the relief in finding fin-ding a practical solution to their problem is immeasurable. The Utah Boys Ranch uses a system of "natural consequences." For example, if a person cuts down a tree, it will die. It doesn't matter if the boy says, "I didn't mean to cut the tree," or "It wasn't my fault," the tree still dies. The concept is simple in its logic but more complex com-plex in its implementation. Each boy at the ranch is taught the skills to handle situations as they arise. If a boy is rude to someone some-one he meets, he will be stuck with people thinking he is rude. If he is polite, the natural consequence is that people will perceive him and react to him as a polite person. The counselors at the ranch are of a quality that can be found nowhere else. They are dedicated, real-life heroes for the boys to emulate. They are not afraid to be called wrong. They can discuss problems with the boys on a one-on-one level or in groups. They show the boys that they live consistently with the program and because of that, life is better for everyone; the counselors, the boys, families and strangers. Volumes could be written about the Utah Boys' Ranch that will soon be in a new facility. The ranch is also considering offering the program pro-gram to young girls. The early intervention program can help set boys and girls up for successes the rest of their lives. The counselors are to be congratulated on the fine work they do, and the young boys certainly deserve praise for the work they put into the program pro-gram to turn their lives around. I know of one young boy who graduated recently. He now opens the door for ladies, smiles as he never smiled before and is proud of who he is. He and his mother not only "get along" but enjoy each other's company. Results such as these are what change the parents from a hesitant first time meeting attender to the relieved and optimistic op-timistic meeting attender. A |