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Show fla Campus NVJ" (By the author of "Rally Round the Flag, Boys!", "Dobie Gillis," etc.) TESTS, AND HOW THEY GREW Just the other night I was saying to the little woman, "Do you think the importance of tests in American colleges is being overemphasized?". (Incidentally, the little woman is not, as you might think, my wife. My wife is far from a little lit-tle woman. She is, in fact, nearly seven feet high and mantled man-tled with rippling muscles. She is a full-blooded Ogallala Sioux and holds the world's shot put record. The little woman I referred to is someone we found crouching under the sofa when we moved into our apartment back in 1928, and there she has remained ever since. She never speaks except to make a kind of guttural clicking sound when she is hungry. To tell you the truth, she's not too much fun to have around the house, but with my wife away at track meets most of the time, at least it gives me someone to talk to.) But I digress. "Do you think the importance of tests in American colleges is being overemphasized?" I said the other night to the little woman, and then I said, "Yes, Max, I do think the importance of tests in American colleges col-leges is being overemphasized." (As I explained, the little woman does not speak, so when we have conversations, I am forced to do both parts.) But I digress. To get back to tests sure, they're important, impor-tant, but let's not allow them to get too important. There are, after all, many talents which simply can't be measured by quizzes. Is it right to penalize a gifted student whose gifts don't happen to fall into an academic category? Like, for instance, Finster Sigafoos? "J She is a full-blooded Uala Si0WX ' ' ' Finster, a freshman at the Wyoming College of Belles Lettres and Fingerprint Identification, has never passed a single test; yet all who know him agree he is studded with talent like a ham with cloves. He can, for example, sleep standing up. He can do a perfect imitation of a scarlet tan-ager. tan-ager. (I don't mean just the bird calls; I mean he can fly south in the winter.) He can pick up BB's with his toes. He can say "toy boat" three times fast. He can build a rude telephone out of 100 yards of string and two empty Person-na Person-na Stainless Steel Razor Blade packages. (This last accomplishment accom-plishment is the one Finster is proudest of not building the telephone but emptying the Personna packs. To empty a Personna pack is not easily accomplished, believe you me, not if you're a person who likes to get full value out of his razor blades. And full value is just what Personnas deliver. They last and last and keep on lasting; luxury shave follows luxury shave in numbers that make the mind boggle. Why don't you see for yourself? Personnas are now available in two varieties: a brand-new stainless steel injector blade for users of injector razors and the familiar double-edge stainless stain-less steel blade so dear to the hearts and kind to the kissers of so many happy Americans, blades so smooth-shaving, so long -lasting that the Personna Co. makes the following guarantee: If you don't agree Personna gives you more luxury lux-ury shaves than Beep-Beep or any other brand you might name, Personna will buy you a pack of whatever kind you think is better.) But I digress. Back to Finster Sigafoos artist, humanist, philosopher, and freshman since 1939. Will the world ever benefit from Finster's great gifts? Alas, no. He is in college to stay. But even more tragic for mankind is the case of Clare de Loon. Clare, a classmate of Finster's, had no talent, no gifts, no brains, no personality. All she had was a knack for taking tests. She would cram like mad before a test, always get a perfect score, and then promptly forget everything she had learned. Naturally, she graduated with highest honors and degrees by the dozen, but the sad fact is that she left college no more educated and no more prepared to cope with the world than she was when she entered. Today, a broken woman, she crouches under my sofa. 1965. Max Shulman Speaking of tests, we, the makers of Personna , put our blades through an impressive number before we send them to market. We also make and thoroughly test an aerosol shave that soaks rings around. any other lather: Burma Shave, regular and menthol. |