OCR Text |
Show Not That Important A very sidall boy had declined prunes so vociferously as to raise the whole matter to one of discipline discip-line rather than a pardonable foible. His mother told him thai God would probably be displeased at his disobedience. Later in the evening there came a heavy thunderstorm, and mother grasped this opportunity of going upstairs to heal the breach. She found the tiny mutineer standing ie , front ( of the window in an attitude of disgust. "Huh!" he said defiantly, as a terrific peal of thunder shook the house, "all this fuss about six prunes." Knew What He Wanted j Billy had been pestering his father fath-er for weeks on end to buy him a puppy. "You can't have one just now," his father repeated for weeks on end. "You know very well that you soon will have a little baby brother or sister to play with so please stop asking for a dog." About a week later his father told Billy that he had a brother and asked him if he would like ta see him. Billy reluctantly agreed to go up to the bedroom to see his new playmate. He gazed scornfully at the red-faced, squawking infant and turned to his father. "Daddy," he said, "I want 8 puppy." He Had It In Him "Isn't it remarkable that Brown's luck should stay with him to the very last?" f "How was that?" queried the other. "He was operated on for the removal re-moval of a pearl he had accidentally accidental-ly swallowed while eating oysters, and when the pearl was examined it was found to be valuable enough to pay for both the operation and funeral." Paid in Full? "Why did you name the baby Bill?" "Because he , was born at a summer sum-mer resort hotel" Man in Trouble "Your honor, I was not intoxicated." intoxica-ted." "But this officer says you were trying to climb a lamppost." "I was, your honor. A couple of cerise crocodiles were following me, so who wouldn't under the circumstances?" cir-cumstances?" Platter Patter I The sign read: "Dinner, 50 cents. With chicken, 75 cents." "Let's go in here, Mabel," said he. to the girl friend. "They made a reduction for two." Bird Dog? Did you hear about the farmer farm-er who crossed a dog with a chicken trying to , get pooched eggs? Local Notes Mr. and Mrs. Harrison Nebs have just returned from 'New York, where the Missus got her face and Harrison his watch lifted, both on Broadway. Back to This Again "I don't believe in' Darwin's theory of evolution," remarked the professor. "No," chuckled the cynic, "It's more probable that some woman made the first monkey out ol man!" |