Show PUBLIC FORUM LETTERS TO THE EDITOR What is your opinion The Express welcomes letters from its readers concerning any subject pertinent to the Uintah Basin While there are arc no restrictions as to contents or reasonable length letters must be submitted exclusively to the Express and bear the writers writer's full fun name signature and address Names must be printed on political letters but may be withheld for good reasons if requested on others All letters are arc subject to condensation h u. u Und Understanding ding teenagers EDITORS EDITOR'S The NOTE following letter was published in a condensed form on February 10 At the authors author's request the entire letter is being published as follows Dear Editor I believe it is time responsible and concerned parents get out from under the mantle of insecurity insecurity insecurity in in- security foisted upon them and assert their right to be heard I have recently become aware of a number of rumors concerning the improper behavior of juvenile girls in our area which have been brought to my attention because my fifteen year-old year daughter is one of the group Of course there are arc those who are willing to suggest that my daughter just happened to be there but may not be guilty I suppose that other parents who hear the same rumors may also be reassured with the same ex ex- I am not naive nor am amI I deluded into thinking my daughter is willingly associating with girls who do things her parents do not approve approve approve ap ap- ap- ap prove of and partaking of no nomore nomore nomore more than their friendship And having lived with her for fifteen years I have observed no evidence that she can be coerced or stands back and waits walts until someone else comesup comes comesup up with the Ideas There have been several attempts to discuss these matters with her with the only thing seemingly being brought to light is the fact that I 1 do not understand her nor her friends nor do I have any concern for their feelings There are two things about this that concern me greatly The first is the expression of the breakdown of parental authority which we are arc expected expected expected ex ex- ex- ex to accept as the generation gap and the other is the evidence of the up cover-up and protection from censure that occurs on every hand by the news media and a host of supposedly responsible public of deals who permit and by so doing encourage young people to raise all the hell their little hearts desire with the assurance that no one will really know who is doing what This guaranteed anonymity is the best assurance irresponsible irresponsible irresponsible sible individuals could hope for I 1 believe it is time lime we quit coddling the irresponsible whether they be six sixteen or thirty six years old The only possible way a person can ever be expected to realise the efI effects ef ef- I fe s of pf twi 1 E js isdor Jor they themselves to experience the consequences not the innocent innocent innocent in in- bystander In the case of juveniles this is usually not the case Perhaps it is in the destruction of parental authority that the whole problem rests Recently a Bishop from one of the neighboring neighboring neigh neigh- boring wards was asked to talk to parents and teenagers in our ward He stated his purpose was to help close the generation gap He gave a good talk and everyone should have benefited from it However there was one statement he made which suggested that he was unwittingly unwittingly un un- un wittingly contributing his part to creating the generation gap It is not because I wish to criticise him that I mention this but because he wears two hats He is also a school teacher In his opening remarks he took advantage of the presence of parents and suggested that he could be more effective as a teacher if he had better support from parents This is the crux of the matter It was in the expression of the attitude inferred by many school teachers that they are arc hampered in their work by unconcerned parents that I seethe see seethe seethe the smoldering inferno which is fed by th the public and private professions of school teachers counselors bishops ministers and a host of other responsible public servants Although Allbough they are often unwittingly subverting subverting sub sub- authority the effect is still disastrous Some are misguided others are attempting at tempting to establish their image as a buddy to the teenager while others may be expressing their own o immature feelings of rebellion The result is to very effectively put the idea across to teenagers that parents are primarily responsible for the generation gap A very comforting thought especially for who are exploiting this generation gap With the authority of their official positions and the assurance of their educated infallibility these ecclesiastics of intellectualism generate the feeling that parents are either not concerned or incompetent They fee feed l the inferno of rebellion against authority and then justify themselves by assigning the resultant aberrant behavior to the generation gap This Thus is very reassuring to teenagers who are the greatest con artists in our society They know how to ply play both ends against the middle and the middle against both ends to an unprecedented degree decree Adolescence is not necessarily a pleasant period for the victim but one everybody has to go through It Itis Itis Itis is a difficult and trying period and teenagers need a lot of ot love and understanding to get through it safely But more of that love needs to be given by bythe bythe bythe the teenager and less deman deman- ded I am tired of being told by the news media by public officials and teenagers that I do doi donot i not not understand them I was a teenager once and understand them far better than they are willing to accept It is not that parents do not understand teenagers but rather that the teenagers do not understand themselves and they hope their parents do not either They desire to extend their public anonymity into the home and their relationship with their parents in order to facilitate their escape from ac ac- ac- ac I love my children There is no one as concerned about them and who will do as much for them as my wife and myself I Ido Ido Ido do not wish to see them do things they will later look back backon on with shame or that may possibly ruin their lives com com- Until other parents prove they do not have the same feelings towards their children they should be accorded such Children belong to the parents not the state It is the right and responsibility of the parents to determine the manner in which their children will enter into society as adults It is the responsibility of public servants to help fulfill this responsibility in keeping with the parents rights This can only be accomplished accomplished accomplished ac ac- ac- ac by supporting parents not by subrogating surrogating them I will acknowledge that our society admits to those cases of parents who are irresponsible and incompetent However for every child who lives in a home with such parents there are hundreds and perhaps thousands who are arc subjected to the influence of teachers and other public servants who are irresponsible and incompetent It is time parents had the courage to stand up and say to their teenagers and all teenagers alike Dont tell me meI I dont don't understand you I 1 am a parent and an adult as you willbe will willbe willbe be someday I have also been a teenager as you and have had to contend with the same emotions and frustrations of life you are now facing That is a apart apart apart part of my past which I dont don't have to live over But you do have to live my future U If you want understanding you can find it in your own heart U If you dont don't like being a frustrated teenager do something about it Learn where you are going That is something which I can help you do if you will ask and be willing to receive Respectfully Reid Goodrich Lapoint |