| OCR Text |
Show HAWKEYE DOTS-"Ladies' bonnets are smaller this winter," says Harper's Bazar. So are not the bills. General Boiler is said to display very little interest in politics. We thought it would be that way. An old politician shrewdly gives an outsider's definition of a "ring,"-" A combination of men of whom we are not one." Mr. Tupper says he would like to write a vague, philosophical poem about MR. Hewitt. He couldn't select a vaguer subject. When you hear a man now clamoring for soft money and more of it, you can't help thinking that he gets his financial ideas out of his own head. The mania for collecting buttons on a string has broken out in this country again, and no man knows just when or for how long he can trust his suspenders. After all, when you come right down to honest pedestrianism, the Americans can ride more miles in the street cars without getting tired than any other people in the world. They say that every house has its skeleton in the closet. In the boarding house, however, you will find the skeleton at the end of the table farthest away for the meat and the butler. If we are expected to believe the dying words of all the murderers that have been justly hanged during the past twenty-five years, heaven would be the best place for a general international murderers re-union. "Do you want the coat to fit pretty snug sir?" asked the tailor, "No," replied the sheriff, "I want a nice siezy? coat," "Ah yes," said the tailor, "I will make it loose around the collar then, so that you can take cold easily." We are heartily in favor of the movement to establish more friendly and fraternal relations between the United States and Sitting Bull, remembering, all the time, however, the old Russian proverb, "Make friends with a bear but keep hold of the axe." It is true Victoria, as you say, that Sitting Bull does occasionally give us a little trouble. But never do you mind Sitting Bull, just you take a little pleasure trip through Ireland and settle your nerves. What you need just now is a little tranquility, and you won't have far to go for it. "What do you call this?" asked Mr. Growler, gazing up with dark suspicion. "I call it coffee," replied the landlady very shortly. "And does it come for that?' again inquired Mr. Growler. "No," she said, "It goes for that." And a division of the house being called, the chair was sustained. "You will be in betimes?" asked the wife, anxiously as her husband started down town to learn more about New York. ‘Oh, yes," h said, "I will be in betimes, bedtimes, badtimes." And he went away whistling, and she, poor soul, looked for him confidently at half-past nine o'clock. Girls, if there is one thing more than any other that holds young men of our day back from matrimonial ventures, it is the disheartening spectacle so often presented them of your own dear papa and mamma walking into church glorified respectively by a $12 ulster and a $30 bonnet. That's what scares the boys. |
