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Show THE QUAKER DETECTIVE We were five passengers in all - two ladies on the back seat, and a middle-aged gentleman and a Quaker and myself on the front. The two ladies might have been mother and daughter, aunt and niece, governess and charge, or might have sustained another relationship which makes it proper for two ladies to travel together unattended. The middle-aged gentleman was sprightly and talkative. He soon struck up an acquaintance with the ladies, toward whom in his zeal to do, he overdid the agreeable - bowing and smiling and chattering over his shoulder in a way painfully suggestive, at his time of life, of a "crick" in the neck. He was evidently a gay Lothario. The Quaker wore the uniform of his sect, and confined his speech, as many a parliamentarian would save his credit by doing, to simply "yeas" and "nays." As for myself I make it an invariable rule of the road to be merely a looker on and listen. Toward evening I was aroused from on of those reveries into which a young man, without being a poet or a lover, will sometimes fall, by an abrupt query from the talkative gentleman. "Are you armed, sir?" "I am not," I answered astonished, no doubt, visibly, at the question. "I am sorry to hear it," he replied, "for, before reach... [unreadable] next stopping place, it will [unreadable] ...ours in the night, and w? [blank space] over a portion of the [unreadable] been co?? [unreadable] The [unreadable] pale, but the stranger [unreadable] best to reassure them. "Not that I think there is the slightest danger at present," he resumed; "only when one is responsible for the safety of the ladies, you know, such a thing as a pistol in reach would materially add to one's confidence." "Your principles, my friend," addressing the Quaker, "I presume, are as much opposed to carrying as to using carnal weapons?" "Yes," was the response. "Have the villains murdered any of their victims?" the elderly lady nervously inquired. "Or have they contented themselves with - with-plundering them?" added the younger, in a timorous voice. "Decidedly the latter," the amiable gentleman hastened to give assurance, "and we are none ?? [if ]as prepared to offer resistance to ??? of attack, no nothing worse than robbery can possibly befall us." Then, after blaming his thoughtlessness in having unconsciously introduced a disagreeable subject, the gentleman quite excited himself in efforts to raise the spirits of the company, and had succeeded so well by the two might had set in that all had quite forgotten or remembered their fears to laugh at them. Our genial companion fairly talked himself hoarse, preceding which he took from his pocket a box of newly invented "cough candy," and, after passing it to the ladies, he helped himself to the balance and tossed the paper out of the window. He was in the midst of a high uncomium on the new suction, more than half the efficacy of which, he insisted, depended on its being taken by auction, when a shrill whistle was heard, and almost immediately the coach stopped and two faces, hideously blackened, presented themselves, one at each window. "Sorry to trouble you," said the man on the right, acknowledging with a bow two ladylike ??? from the back seat; "but business is business, and ours will soon be over if things go smoothly." "Of course, gentlemen, you will spare, as far as will be consistent with your disagreable [disagreeable] duty, the feelings of these ladies," appealed the polite passenger in his blandest manner. "Oh! certainly; they shall be first attended to, and shall not be required to leave their places, unless their conduct renders it necessary." "And now, ladies," continued the robber, the barrel of his pistol glittering in the light of the coach lamp, "be so good as to pass your purses, watches and such other trinkets as may be accessible, without too much trouble." The ladies came down handsomely, and were not further molested. One by one the rest got out. The middle-aged gentleman's turn came first. He submitted with a winning grace, and was robbed like a very Chesterfield. My own affairs, like the sum I lost, are scarcely worth mentioning. The Quaker's turn came next. He quietly handed over his pocket book and watch, and when asked if he had any other valuables, said "nay." A Quaker's word is good, even among thieves; so, after a hasty "good night," the robber thrust his pistol into his pocket and with his two companions, one of whom had held the reins of the leaders, was about departing. "Stop!" exclaimed the Quaker, in a tone more of command than of request. "Stop! What for?" returned the other in evident surprise. "For at least two good reasons," was the reply, emphasized with a couple of derringers cocked and presented. "Help!" shouted the robber. "Stop!" The Quaker exclaimed, "and if any of thy sinful companions advance a step to thy relief, the spirit will surely move me to blow thy brains out." The robber at the opposite window and the one at the leader's heads thought it a good time to leave. "Now, get in friend," said the Quaker, still covering his man, "take the middle seat; but first deliver up the pistol." The other hesitated. "Thee had better not delay. I feel the spirit begin to move my right forefinger." The robber did as he was directed, and the Quaker took his place at his side, giving the newcomer the middle of the seat. The driver, who was frightened half out of his wits, now set forward at a rapid rate. The lively gentleman soon recovered his vivacity. He was especially factious on the Quaker prowess. "You're a rum Quaker, you are. Why, you don't quake worth a cent." "I am not a ‘Shaking Quaker,' if that's what thee means." "Of the ‘Hickory,' or rather the "Old Hickory,' stripe, I should say," retorted the lively man. But the Quaker relapsing into his nasal monosyllables, the conversation flagged. Sooner than we expected, the coach stopped where we were to have supper and change of horses. We had deferred a redistribution of our effects until we should reach this place, as the dim light of the coach lamp would have rendered the process somewhat difficult. It was now necessary, however, that it should be attended to at once, as our jovial companion had previously announced his intention of leaving us at this point. He proposed a postponement till after supper, which he offered to go and order. "Nay," urged the Quaker, with an approach of abruptness, and laying his hand on the other's arm. "Business before pleasure, and, for business, there is no time like the present." "Will thee be good enough to search the prisoner?" he said to me, still keeping his hand in a friendly way on the passenger's arm. I did so, but not one of the stolen articles could be found. "He must have got rid of them in the coach," the gay gentleman suggested, and immediately offered to go and search. "Stop!" thundered the Quaker, rightening his grasp [unreadable]derringers was leveled at his head. "Stir a hand or a foot, and you are a dead man!" The Quaker must have been awfully excited, so completely to forget both the language and principles of his persuasion. Placing the other pistol in my hand, with directions to fire on the first of the two men that made a suspicious movement, he went to work on the Lothario, from whose pockets, in less time that it takes to tell it, he produced every item of the missing property, to the utter amazement of the two ladies who had begun in no measured terms to remonstrate against the shameful treatment that gentleman was receiving. "The Quaker, I need scarcely add, was no Quaker at all, but a shrewd detective, who had been set on the track of a band of desperadoes, of whom our middle aged friend - who didn't look near so middle-aged when his wig was off - was the chief. The robbery had been most adroitly planned. The leader of the gang had taken passage in the coach, and after learning as he supposed our defenseless condition, had given the signal to his companions by throwing out the scrap of paper already mentioned. After the unexpected capture of the first robber, it was attempted to save the booty by secretly passing it to the accomplice - still believed to be unsuspected - who counted on being able to make off with it at the next stopping place. The result was that both, for a season, did the State some service. |