Show Qt tiL about Self Leaders SANTA CANTA ANTA MONICA l CALIF Only eight years ago Bishop Cannon sat in high state at Houston Houston Houston Hous Hous- ton wringing the last drop of moisture out of a dry bone-dry plank in the Democratic doctrine so Al Smith the wettest of the wets would have ha something congenial and appropriate to run on In the opposition camp the politico politico- financial high god to whoso whose lightest word all nil present responded responded re re- with halls hails anti and hallelujahs was Banker Bank Bank- er Charles Mitchell Tod Today If it either of t the these ll c s e gentlemen Inserted Inserted In In- himself Into a g SV national convention of ot othis his party part hed he'd be arrested ar ar- tested rested for forr trespass Four years ago Mr l n learnt e ear a r s t was moving heaven and earth and Jack Garner to Irvin irvInS S S. S Cobb nate hate F. F D. D Roosevelt In whom he reposed everlasting e faith And the Republican Old Guard was explaining ex ex- that when its can candidate l ate had promised two cars In every garage he didn't figure that for either car there'd be ue a deputy sheriff with a writ All of which proves our anointed lea leaders ers are not only courageous but consistent Well lets let's see what the boys will promise us this year ear In fu those fictional whimsicalities called culled plat lat lat- forms r s First American Families W WEVE WE'VE EVE been sl skirting the sun baked domains of one sizable group of or early American families who dont don't care who's been nominated at Cleveland or who'll be nominated at Philadelphia No matter which side wins these folks still will furnish the raw material upon upon upon up up- on which blithe amateurs of oC the Indian In Wan lan bureau work weird experiments in the name of or civilization Nothing worse c can n happen to them than already has been wrought b by well-meaning well meddlers and earnest under this administration or that For Instance ce tr trying Ing to make farmers out of or Apaches a task akin to training caged to imitate cuckoo clocks s. s Of or course should their reservations by some miracle prove pro productive the white man will crowd them over o Into a remoter thirst-blasted thirst area where a n horned toad would have haye to go on relief relict or else starve to death The vanishing American cant can't complain complain complain com com- plain that weve we've ever eyer failed to expedite expedite dite ite his vanishing act for him Beating the Welkin T TIlE TIIE HE poor old welkin certainly took an awful beating at Cleveland didn't it And Just about the time the new skin forms the they'll 11 rip it nil all over again at Philadelphia Language Is to a n national convention what yelping is to toa toa toa a coon dog trailing Its It's a fine personal a advertisement for the dog dog- and doesn't mean anything either wa way to the coon The old superstition that the Republicans Republicans DS always pick their candidate ate at 2 a. a m. m miln in a smoke-filled smoke room didn't come true You'd oud think the bosses would emerge from the session looking the like so many hickory cured hams when you ou hear people tell of or the old times Ill I'll bet the G. G O. O P. P bo boys bos s kept a window window window win- win dow open to clear the air It might also have come In handy for chucking Senator Borah out of But when the credentials committee sat to hear the contesting delegations from the deep dark lark South South that's that's when you'd oud see what properly might be called a smoke-filled smoke room Defying the Congress T THREE years ago ngo Bishop Cannon the J- J famous Virginia smoothbore smooth invited a senatorial Investigation committee to togo togo togo go jump of off the Washington monument Per Perhaps aps they dl didn't nt Jump oft off the monument monument monument mon mon- which caused regret to some but It was the best offer the they had all at season This year ear Doctor Townsend who hasn't lost a n cent by being the head of the Townsend plan tells an investigating investigating gating gaUng committee of the house to 1 kiss his foot They never punished the bishop for contempt although they sputtered like liken a n bunch of ot damp fire firecrackers Heres Here's laying JaIns a little to five they'll never punish the Doc either Hell He'll go merrily merrily merrily mer mer- rily on with the popular ever-popular Idea that If It there Isn't a pot of gold at the foot Coot of the rainbow the government should supply same without any more of this shilly Shelly Next to the League of or Nations nothIng nothing nothing noth noth- ing seems to make male so much noise and accomplish so 50 little n as a u defied detle- congress con gress unless press unless it Is some fellow pla playing a slide trombone Into an empty barrel IRVIN S. S COBB p WN Service |