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Show With Apologies to Longfellow. Sitting in tho Tribune sanctum. Fingers tangled In his gray locks, Locks that yet may grace some oak bough, In tho route which now must follow The success of tho Sinootlto forces, Sure defeat of T. K. tactics, Sits the erstwhile Honorable Senator that was from Utah. Not that present Nincompoobah, He of famed Isle Alaska, Who with Silver King galena Bought tho seat from tho hierarchy, Bought tho Tribune, starts tho only Three cent with startling headlines; Bought tho runagado statesman (?) With the great vocabulary, Who now, silent in tho sanctum, Clutches at his padowhiskers. Gazes frantic at tho sealing, Looking for an Inspiration, Just a little Intimation From the senate, from tho nation; Even Sister Carrio Nation. Used up now his powers of language, Epithets and innuendcos, Oaths endowments, other rehash, Church influence, blood atonement, Cohabitation, revelation, Tithes, polygamy, donation; Tho groat menace to tho nation, Purity of his home (?) Invaded. Exhausted the auxiliaries, lion clubs, ministers and spotters, Two-by scantlings, sickly preachers, Million-named child petitions; Helen Gould's ten thousand dollars, Thousands more from ignorant Christians. Chris-tians. All has vanished! All has vanished! And this would-bo J. Iscariot Thinks he sees his dirty finish, Sure lie sees his rotten ending; Smells tho tracks of Polo Cat Jooy, Shudders when ho thinks of Perry, Our esteemed fellow townsman, And ho wonders whore is Perry; Echo answers. Whore is Perry? Ah, those largo and plump predictions. And my choice vituperations, And the special villifications, Backed by many affirmations, Backed by Lcillch and by Wishard, Paden, Worl and many others, Others who are just as truthful, Drunks, degenerates, apostates, And the great Americanos, Those disgruntled ofllceseekers, And the tinhorn politicians, Not forgetting tho ward heelers. How wo ache for recognition! How wo long to bo rewarded! How the state is retrograding! I can feel it sliding backward- Or can it bo mo Hint's moving? My invectives and adjectives Lack their former power oxplosivo, And when I would bo abusive All my efforts aro abortive And so far aro noneffective. I have turned tho Inside outside, I have turned tho outsldo Inside, But tho inside, like tho outside. Is not black as I would pnlnt It, Will not stay dark as I paint it. By a scientific process I have mado tho hot air liquid, And for mo it is quite slmplo For to liquify tho hot air, But it keeps mo liquifying, As it still goes up In vapor. And tho gang aro getting restless. Waiting for tho great hierarchy To receive tho knockout wallop, Tho punch low on tho body, Which was promised in tho last round, As the fight has gone the limit, I am waiting tho decision. Can it bo that truth can triumph After such a foul-fought battle, Such an overpowering onslaught, By such hosts as wo had mnrshaled? If It does then I'll turn Christian. |