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Show 1 1&?F Cutting Him Down to Slie A prim spinster in a western citj took her visiting niece, an attractive brunette, to an art exhibition hel by a group of amateur painters There they encountered an exhibl tor, a loud young man, far mon Impressed with himself than any one was with his painting, who won a smock, a Parisian moustache and a rather startling red beret Soon he approached the spinstei and her niece and said: "You mus let me show you ladies around. O. course, you know who I am!" Disdainfully the spinster starec down her nose at his flaming head gear, and said: "A donkey with ai unusually loud b'ret?" "P. 8. He Got the Job" 1 w w An Irishman anxious to get or the police force hounded the poli ticians until they decided to givt him a letter to the commissioner but the signature carried with i' that popular little curve whicl meant to "sidetrack Pat in the usual diplomatic manner." The commissioner, after readinj the letter, told Pat that if he coulc answer the three following ques tions he would appoint him: "First How many stars are there in th heavens? Second. How many hairi are there on my head? Third. What am I thinking?" Pat could not give an answer t any of them and was turned down After wandering about town foi some time an idea struck him. Hi would represent himself as hii brother, and try again. The ques tions were the same. "How many stars are there in the heavens?" "661,468,432," answered Pat. "How do you know?" "I counted them, and if you don'i believe me count 'em yourself." "How many hairs are there on my head?" Pat walked up, and pulling one hair from the commissioner's head, answered: "One less than then was a minute ago." "What am I thinking about?" "You think you are talking tc my brother, but I'm the same mar back again." He was appointed. Bright Boy The children had all been photographed photo-graphed and the teacher was trying try-ing to persuade them each to buy copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be tc look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Rose; she'i married,' or 'That's Billy; he's $ ailor.' " A small voice' at the back of the room piped up, "And there's teacher, teach-er, she's dead." I Snappy Answer Kind Old Gentleman: How dc you like school, my little man. Little Man: I like it closed, sir. ! Health Note j j Hospital patient: "They say ,; I walking is good for the health." ' I Another: "Not for my health, j I I walked last night when I should have run." Unfair Competition Benedict. "Not married yet?" Bachelor. "No." "But I thought you had serioui intentions in a certain direction?" "I did have, but the evening went to propose to her, before I go' a chance she told me she lovec Browning and Kipling and Shelly Now what chance did I have wit) three other men?" |