Show 11 Jitney Jim Wanted Sympathy but He Got Got-uW Got Was s Relentless Rele I ss Ridicule U I 1 I 1 By GENE MORGAN HY Its It's exclaimed ex ex- exclaimed WHY claimed Myrtle time the tile box office girl thrusting away a n newspaper The I idea illen of anybody to the paper and sayin that the thc movies mo Is kin up i homes Homes dont don't seem to lo care cate what breaks cm em up nowadays said Jitney y Jim Jima Some omo r t If fG I. I lift s. s igl j 1 If f I rang the doorbell doorbell well of the these mo le e thrillers is h lS l'S they're showing are arc l enough In to lu make a strong limn want to go 5 c home ignite and bread bieak al' al up lIP the furniture Ma Iu be lle beibe the ibe guy u who at ut that letter to tow w Ow lam paper t n 11 talking lolling through the tho dent in his 1110 heaver beaver lit tit just the h same sume same th theres there's rc's sonic some truth in lu that mt h hI he S says I 1 never cau Itt tic the ulo i in III the act of oC alIn up a n but mu b h lle c me tue the th the There Is a Breach in Our Heros Hero's Happy Relations With His Wealthy Aunt Leonora and Though It May Bring Poverty in His Old Age Jitney His Heart Hearl Overflowing Bravely Burns All Future Pr Prospects s Upon the Altar Allar of Love Lone en can call 11 break I up Ull friendship hIll between het kith and aud kin kill Luok what t tb the ics did ld for me They've hun hung the thc pol poison on I Ivy between ire are n and cud my mJ Aunt Myrtles Myrtle's c eyes es grew brew wl wide e and she gasped a apprehensively rely What What have have you ou had ball a n fallen out with your jour our rich Aunt lint Leonora she dern demanded nod and me out la C ye fallen out out our our friendship has red was Jitney Jims Jim's I am no louder longer her favorite fa- fa orlle oTH c nephew Im I'm a It prominent member of oC the Auntie Anti A Association I suppose h bj by this time she's jarred me we out of her bel will Now U dont don't tell me ate I J ought Jo to ru rush h back tutu ami make up with auntie It H I T ran tang lang her doorbell like a t good repentant prodigal noff lief I might get ct the fatted att tl calf all right But Id I'd get him glint head l first rt with wILli horns cpi outing Let lct me rite tell you ou how v Aunt Leonora and her little Replica nephew got fot hostile I took tool her herto herto to tu the thc movies Yes like a loving lo duLl dutiful ul nephew v I brang her het to lo the show And nel with vi Ii her was ivis hoi her ho lumm oni friend Mrs Irs Grady arid and fur for her hr I also cu dug dus up a 30 lO cent ducat Auntie und mind Mrs Mr- 1 r G lall raps let time m sit it between uel beS be ue- S tween l cm slit mild Il this hc because thc they wanted me the to tn hell bear I nil all their conversation mull thus thu enjoy the time whole we pot Jot to our oat spats scats the whole theater trap 1 except the thi screen limit but It W l Jl not nottau t tau loo dark to 0 listen to sirs Mi ll Grady and Aunt Leonora I They be began an talking about tho actresses In iu the movies What they didn't know about the Inside secrets of ut the poor dames wasn't worth knowing And nd they every ery queen who showed up on ou the screen Mrs Grady had bad their numbers Nobody could fool her about those moving picture ladle ladies It seems that she b goes goe to see sec her herfa fa favorite fa stu stars rs every week and checks up upon on oil whether t they're be rc get et tin Un fn fat t or lean Also she holds a n speedometer on their a age e and she's bes a n shark shaik at detecting wrinkles that en even the lo camera cant can't catch Oh Ohm look at al Cella cena whispers Mr Mrs Grady pointing to a perfect winner t the e moment the poor girl dings her smile on the screen fella Cella used to bu have hu such uch a pretty figure figure- su says s 's Mrs Irs Grady rad but she she's s losing wll weight ht something awful Wh Why she's getting actually scrawny She he ought to take something for Cor it And I had to sit It there and stand for that I wanted to give he Mrs Grad Grady Graly H It piece picco of or my mr mind wind I wanted to tell ten her that HUlt she wasn't a n hear bear for tor plumpness herself I wanted to remind Mrs Grady that lint she was wn wasso wasso so 10 thin site she could clo close e one oue c eye cje e and look 1001 like c a n needle I was yearning to Int Inform rm her that limit If It she scratched her he hied d sh shed she'd d look 1001 like a n mn 4 limit But of course I said ald nothing ne Besides id s I couldn't have C hissed ed a n single narrow toed sharp word woid Int Into that Au Aunt Aunt t- t Copyright 19 1913 1915 1 Leonora had her to make c too She said staid that Celia Cella Lloyd must be making her own clothes She he said saltI that they looked W like e fur fury In the back and that Cella ought to o pick her hats bats with an c eye eje e to 10 art Instead of with an ice pick What they did to Cella wasn't anything anything any any- thing to the wor words s of ot cactus kindness ss they hey he banded handed out oil to every other film tUrn lady icily lall that came ulon along What bat Aunt Leonora overlooked o cr looked Mrs Mrs' rr Grady was way sure sur to measure little her old harpoon Here Myrtle interposed saying paying But surely Jitney you had no right to have hac fell out with your auntie just because she 1 panned the Oho Obo you jou ou haven't heard the whole stor story said Jitney Jim his eyes glaring J Just st think think think-DottIe Dottle Swish was on Ull the lie program pro pro- grant gram last night g l 1 Myrtle instantly scented trouble She knew to her despair that Jitney was hope hope- hopelessly lessly lealy ly smitten h by Miss Dottle Dottie Swish the petite little film star t t t tYes Yes Ye dearest Dottie Dottle 1 divine 1 nc adorable Dottle Dottie said ald Jitney Jim sighing like a hodl on the fifth lauding landIng When I saw aw Pottie Dottie ottie Swish appear in a n three reel romance my heart tried to chin Itself In JU my tin throat thront oat amid ami I r feared for the worst Mrs Grady rady was ains the first to flash a the mallet mullet I cant can't beer bear that limit woman woman-she's woman she's always al al- always ways wars putting herself hersell forward S said Mrs S. S by J. J Keeley Keele Grady referring in her ber friendly wa way to Dottie Swish I I know lwow just the sort of son itch shy sh she is I can tan read It in her face She's the kind of ot a woman that will talk about you if It she gets gels the tho slightest chance Shed She'd overlook o all your goo good qualities and find pick out your jour faults I just know she's sho's got sot gota soto a o spiteful disposition tad And then lien Aunt Leonora draws back the trl trigger She says sas You couldn't trust trusta a n person like Dottie Dottle Swish h. h She's got ot such sucha n a sly wn way with her When she grows ros a little lit m- tic tle older shell she'll be lie a n perfect cat Look ook at nl atthe atthe the gown she's wearing Where did lId tho the woman ever e pet get et such stick vulgar taste You Youcan Youcan Youcan can see ce ee s she's es e's vain aln and thinks the men are arc all crazy cra J about her And Amid that was more than I could stand My Ir blood was up Aunt or no aunt I decided de tie- to speak Ill toy ruy mind I jumped out of or my mr scat and started up ul the lie aisle Aunt Leonora followed me ine out of or the he theater She thought I 1 was sick Ick That's what I wanted her bel to do eta When we reached the sidewalk and Dud she was expecting to see mo me stagger against the fresh air I suddenly looked her square in the c ec c. I I said in Aunt Leonora severe fc tones how dare you jou ou speak thusly of ot Miss Swish I want you to understand that I Iloe Iloe Ilove lo e that girl Yes auntie I love 10 her ber She Is the light lIht of m my life she Is is- is And nd what did Aunt Leonora do cried Myrtle I. I Aw she At w she gave C me the big laugh sobbed Jitney Jim She laughed me the to the car carand cud and she Inu laughed bc me all the tho theU U way home She and Mrs Grady gave me the double bar cackle Then one would rest for a awhile awIllie awhile while wIllie and time the other would bray until tears plowed through the powder on her nose nose Myrtle IrtIe wanted to laugh too but Vi wisely ely restrained herself She n asked ked Jitney what F 4 Y t y Y t Ilk y y J r. r f j il If 1 WPM I f Sh She gave me the bi big laugh reason ho had bad for supposing that Aunt Leonora wo would ld cut him out of her willI will I I II I only hope shell she'll do it ft sighed Jitney y 74 Jim fervently But Batt no she ahe wont won't get mad mad she she Just Joist keeps on laughing Aw Air what's hals the 1 fun tun of ot being In love lo when people t think youve you've got oot the brains of ot a head lettuce let let- tuce c L it |