Show d I T J 1 I. 6 1 It t f i. i yf k Y t- t tt t t i 4 Fi tg lit With Your I. I H ANy to Hold Her Love LoveY I IE f Y E KIND to Her and Lose Her of BE Says the Psychologist Dr Daniel Carson G N o odman f r p Y rn f- f Y for tor if iJ There i here is anything z a Woman r Craves It Is a Good Scrap With H Her Cr Husband When hen He Ie Starts to T Take ake Her Heror for or Granted Jo k I r 4 4 i. i s i R orgy v iI 1 Y nor nor I 8 r Y sf Y 3 R I I G N Dr Daniel Carson Goodman psychologist psychologist ps- ps and novelist no claims that th the easiest way to lose your wife is to be docile and never ne fight backBy back backBy backBy By James M. M Neville SOCRATES dominated d his epoch among 5 the ancients with l his s intellect bu but t once the domestic doors closed on hi him he was in turn dominated by the tongue of his wife wile Xantippe She nagged him a ar all r the time and instead of fighting back he tried to turn the constant battle of the hearth to his moral advantage and th thus us develop his patience and forbearance All AIl very well weIl for Socrates who has been considered something of a superman and undoubtedly had other qualities b by Y which he asserted his superiority over his belligerent mate But such an attitude for forthe forthe the average man is the beginning of the ther r end of love in this modern modem day according accord accord- ing to the well-known well psychologist and novelist Dr Daniel Carson Goodman r The quickest way for a man to lose his wife Is to be docile kind and gentle never to fight back when she starts nagging nag nag- ging gang and fighting with him If there is anything a woman craves it is a good fight with her husband when he starts to take her for granted when gifts are lavished on her instead of caresses and t 1 when he is too devoted to golf and business busi busi- ness Hess to consider her flirtations in anything any any- tl thing ng but a minded broad-minded way The next move is toward the divorce court a broken- broken up home If the woman is l spirited high enough she just walks out on her husband hus hus- band from sheer boredom However if a husband wants to hold his wife's affection he must fight with her must dominate her Of course this struggle for supremacy exists between all 11 lovers and is usually confined to little acts deeds and words words words-a a womans woman's best weapon which weapon which often seem insignificant but which are arc of the utmost importance The caveman type of husband given to physical violence is not appealing to the tho majority of women They are subdued by more subtle methods of conquest THE thorough manner In which Dr Goodman has taken up the study of human nature and the adjustment of man and woman in 11 the married state is at attested attested at at- tested by the years of intensive work devoted de devoted de- de devoted voted to stu study y and preparation before even attempting to write his novels which all de deal l with psychology in the form of fic fic- S. S tion Believing that a psychologist should ac acquire acquire acS ac- ac S quire a doctors doctor's degree before delving too deeply Into his own 11 realm of study Dr Goodman was graduated in medicine atthe at atthe A the Washington University later doing post graduate work In Heidelberg University University ti sity city in Jn Germany also receiving a diploma at the University of Vienna in Austria The medical student felt better equipped to go on with his psychological surveys as ashe ashe he felt more strongly than ever that to understand the psychological aspect one must look deeply into the part the physical physical cal side plays in the drama of life lUe But in hi meeting the famous psychologist a and aad novelist one gains the Impression that he Is the amusing sophisticated man of the world He has none of the peculiarities 1 associated with the tho two crafts rather he might pass for a Wall WaIl Street financier as he was taken for by the writer seeking Dr Goodman in the spacious lobby of a Palm Beach hotel And one would never expect a specialist on psychology to be absorbed In the sport news of a New York R paper Dr Goodman started speaking In Inan r an un easy tone conversational about his pet subject Ii r I Man Must Dominate IF TF A husband wants to hold his wife's vi fe s affections affections affections says Dr Goodman he must dominate dominate dominate domi domi- nate her To keep the fires of love burning as well as maintain the happiness of the home it is necessary necessary nee nee- essary for the husband to win in all their battles If a a woman wins she has only contempt for her victim With one victim in tow tov she starts starts flirting for other victims What happens to the n nagging a g g gin i n g wife Usually the husband goes out and buys her another necklace or a new car Men are arc too idealistic to apply in marriage the shrewd psychology they use in ih their daily business Husbands make a great mistake in not realizing realizing realizing real real- izing that a woman is is as great a puzzle to herself as she is to them ll i ir T r l I I fl P 1 4 T. T It is to be remembered that no matter how deep the love between husband and wife may be they are really strangers in their thoughts combatants as It were ofa ora of or ofa a different species united by a compelling emotion a chemical reaction called love And students of human nature have long appreciated the fact that there Is an antagonism antagonism antagonism an an- an- an between lovers that It is first and foremost a a battle a fight with a necessary necessary essary vanquished and victor To keep the fires of love burning aswell aswell as aswell well as to maintain the happiness of the home and its stability it is necessary forthe forthe for forthe the husband to win for that is the perfect perfect perfect per per- end of the clash between lovers Every woman for all her protests to the contrary likes to feel the elemental satisfaction satisfaction satis satis- faction of being dominated by a strong masculine character to whom she can surrender surrender sur sur- surrender render unconditionally and find an unexpected unexpected unexpected un un- un- un expected joy in fo following out his com com- mands But the woman goes down fighting using her weapons of beauty grace charm her power of dissimulation and deceit and her weakness weakness perhaps perhaps the most redoubtable of all her weapons weapons- tears When she is forced to her last line of defense she begins to cry Now what chance has a man against a woman who cries when she loses In this struggle for supremacy between lovers it is unique for the singular reason the weaker antagonIst antagonist antagonist has the better of it simply because she is the weaker one She wouldn't dare make a thrust at mans man's intellect for asa asa as asa a rule man keeps superior in tl tills this s respect tiT T I RECALL an instance tance just lately when l a man bravely took out an old pipe he loved and started smoking in a mixed gathering From the cold glare and straight thin lips of his wife I sensed that thata a struggle over that pipe had been going on for months and from the Initial surprise surprise sur sur- prise prim of the wife I could feel that she thought she had rid l him m of his pipe All AU evening I was conscious of ot the tension tenion between this married couple fighting ferociously fero with a smile on their lips Im I'm afraid that woman lost her supremacy In the battle of love one cue can see clearly the movements of hearts just as easily as a couple holding hands exchanging ex exchanging exchanging ex- ex changing glances and all the other toms To watch these movements Is as In Interesting Interesting interesting in- in as to observe the rising of the sun and as thrilling at times as a close clos athletic contest Man has sought to conquer conquer conquer con con- quer the forces of nature but Is still powerless against the tho force of love it is 15 H kY t n r rb Y r n Ri i v l o 0 I 4 t 1 5 Y 4 i y r c S M o 1 3 a c iw M H fi t. t f a i ia wn w k 4 r f. f GA n Y Socrates in the House of painted by H. H F. F shows the Greek philosopher seeking refuge in a friends friend's home from his nagging wife Xantippe Dr Goodman doesn't think Socrates' Socrates forbearance and patience a good rood example for the modern Benedict his eternal adversary and many of us are pitifully defeated by it Yet to put It frankly his only hope is in winning over it dominating his lover therein reaping spoils of victory with all the trappings But if the woman is the victor which Is unhappily a usual situation her feelings feelingS feelings feel feel- ings toward the conquered husband are not conductive to the strongest love In the struggle between the lovers the woman against her fundamental nature has fought with all aU shrewdness for victory Yet she has a contempt for her victim The I he husband in such cases is termed housebroken by the stronger mate and is reduced to a mechanism utilized for the making of money and filling out the domestic domestic do do- picture The wife flattered by her easy accomplishment gains courage with an aroused comPe competitive ve spirit and seeks new fields to conquer With one victim in tow SL she gains greater assurance becomes more vS attractive f and even cven acquires a virility viril- viril ity that has L an effect on her mental state She starts flirting With other men with the husband d helplessly aware of it tuE TE ALL know of WE 1 1 VV Iff Y couples S Their 7 such ma married relationship is just a travesty of emotion that Ym they keep keen up until they are so irked by its artificiality that they grow bored and hate each other or at least one the other What happens to the man in such a position He becomes more and more docile more clinging more generous His wife has taken on a deceptive glamour wl while le the husband slowly develops an inferiority complex and becomes a deadly bore to his ambitious wife She nags him all the more fights with him in hope that he will show a spark of manhood and subdue her Instead Instead Instead In In- stead he goes out and buys her a new car or a a. necklace Dr Goodman claimed that this distorted distorted distorted dis dis- condition in modern modem married life Is caused mostly by love mellowing the masculine emotion to the point of docility and the inevitable death of Or love The maternal instinct which is present present present pres pres- ent in irl varying d degrees grees In men as well as women he continued comes to the surface surface- after a man has been married for fora a time He looks on l his s wife through the eyes of a protector a provider rather than a lover He Is generous and obliging obliging obliging ing to the point of distraction The wife being mentally pleased is elementally disgusted and with all her feminine nature nature nature na na- na- na ture resents this kindliness In fact many romantic women encouraging such flattering d devotion are only subconsciously subconsciously subconsciously aware of this contradictory na na- na- na ture Go into any gathering of women an and d listen to the general conversation Id ge gea get geta t a divorce in a minute from Harry only hes he's such a dear helpless thing and l his s giving me any cause is out of the qu ques ques- tion Hes He's a saint And women do not no t care for saints as lovers Yes we geton get geton on very well together for I have him trained Really I can pull anything over on him He never suspects for a n minute nute that there is anything between his business busIness business busi busI- ness partner and myself So Idealistic so trusting The fool Or perhaps you might hear something like this Oh I like l him m all right but hes he's so easygoing so darned noble Sometimes I think I 1 could fall falI in love with him all over again If hed he'd slap me every once n In a while Dr Goodman said that it was necessary sary for the husband to to show Ills his superiority over his wife early in their marriage or he was doomed becoming more docile doclIe all the time Just for the sake of domestic tranquillity He has so many problems In business that he wants peace ace and re relaxation relaxation relaxation re- re in the home home and and sometimes he doesn't get it Men are too Idealistic to apply at home the shrewd psychology that they are forced to use dally daily in their business he said He falls fails to realize that the business business business busi busi- ness of love is just as difficult as any other Man with his illusions about the tha home and the woman he has married will not bring for its preservation the same fundamental truths that he uses In everyday everyday everyday every every- day existence These admirable hardworking hardworking hardworking hard hard- working husbands who refuse to consider their home life down on the sordid level of business appear as awkward clodhoppers clodhoppers pers when confronted with the sartorial smartness of the kissing hand-kissing tea fight ers continually hanging around the home during the day these day these men who have no I interests other than changing love from a romance Into a business They are amazingly successful with the ladies who would not think of even comparing them with their husbands However the economic arrangement of marriage in America today with stress on security and love of luxuries which appeal to another part of woman beside her elemental nature has led to many complications and the multiplicity of divorce a aMany Many women In their hearts hearm resent marriage as at present arranged resent the economic life insurance they are compelled compelled compelled com com- to take out of love 4 is another hm type type- nf of m woman m n 4 is another hm type type- nf of m woman m n THERE who who would rather be Oriental a woman purely female and freed from all aU burdens of thought and souL But they fear being the middle-aged middle discarded Oriental They know they cannot cheat Providence by living the first half of their lives in Turkey and the last half In NewYork New York But there is a stumbling block in the economic pressure of the day One can cansay cansay cansay say that many women would hesitate to marry if they dared face their economic future If women were to go Into marriage marrIage marriage mar mar- with material comfort secondary to their emotional desires there would be beless beless beless less hypocrisy and an amazing decrease In divorce One of the most common of this type of woman Is the wife who continually flatters her husband to gain her own ends Flattery is usually tl tills this s type of womans woman's only stock in trade It carried her through a courtship and into marriage and encouraged en encouraged encouraged en- en by her success she lays it on tl thick ck and fast It Is a potent means of ot conquering her husband She flatters and flatters and flatters flatter And after a a. time the tho husband has so developed de developed developed de- de an inferiority complex that nothing nothing nothing noth noth- ing more is needed to have him do handsprings hand hand- springs springs springs-if if his wife says so The Tho husbands husband's husbands husband's hus hus- bands band's desires and ambitions become s so so Inextricably mingled mingle 1 with the yearning for a machine that perpetually flatters his hb faltering ego that he just cant can't move without l Ills his s spouse It Is the tho secret of or many a mediocre mans man's undying devotion to l Ills his s dubiously attractive wife wie and more power to them But it is not love Men are eternal egotists said Dr Goodman in hi answer to the query whether men like women who do not flatter themI themI them I know a man whose wife does not flatter flatter flat fiat ter him but he lie apologizes to himself for her by thinking her Interest In him has made her herm m tactless t tAs As for the possibility of a man understanding understanding understanding under under- |