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Show '" JUST PLAIN BAD "LUCK.-jack "LUCK.-jack Ton any you fall from a ladder and war painfully injnradr Why don't you fila a claim on your lnaurano company t, Claranoa I would, but, yon aaa. It waa not exactly an accident. I waa planning to elope with Mabel, and I mletook her father room for here. " IT HAD PLENTY OF FARM. Tola butter aurely muat come from the country." remarked the aatlricat humoiiat t the boardinc houee. "It runa whan you come near It with a knlla. It looka ao pale and It'a Juat meltlnc away here In the city. Than, too" (acraplne; up-what up-what waa left In the dlah) "It'a t- Ilea rather ahy."- ' V Thoae who call Bryan a ood loeer A probably mean frequent. . 'AMI THH. Wa aadly m lea old Baecom Tirtt, . Near ahail hie mam'ry larnlah He thoua-ht tha )u hald whliky, hut Tha dogone etuff waa varnlaa. . MI". f with bay-itar: A lttle amlle And cute bobbed hair, Two danclnf ft, A ahouldar away A alllr laurk ' A Tamplre way. A crowd of mn, A ooclal whirl And lhara you are The modern (irL ' ORIIVOUt OleAPPOINTMCNT. Vachall Undaay, tha tramplnf piM aald In Chlcero tha ether dayl "lnchlna would caaae but for tha fact that our lynchara alwaya thin . they are doing- tha rlfht thln(. I ramembr. one blailng hot afternoon In eore;la. I mat a farmr In hl Hunday clothaa alttlna on a fence and awtarlnc terribly. I atopprd and aard: , 'What'a the troubl. frlandr -Why, han it all." aald the farmer, farm-er, aa ha mopped hie wet, red fare, here I bean and l(ad It all the way from Mon'i Croaaln". a matter of aevenleen mllee. to aaa Wider Clay not lynched and darn me If the eherlff didn't aplrlt him away aome. heir, and the boya ware ao weak-minded weak-minded they atood for It. Stranger' and tha farmer raierd hi arm In an oratorical feature. 'Htrenaer la tha country drlltln" to barbariamr " Chlcaco Nawa "UNCLI JOl'e" vaiACHIR T0tV Aenator Wataon of Indiana met Jncla Joe" Cannon In the main cor. rldor of tha eapltol tha other day and aaked him to tell a good ;d-" faahloned etory. - The ftret cltlaan of Danylll. amiled a moment and aald: "Jim. t wonder If you ever heard of that lad old preacher who. yaara ago, went from vjoaey county. In your arate. out to Pike county. Mo., the ptare. you know, where John Hay dlarov-ered dlarov-ered Utile Tttreechaa and Jim Blud-aoeT Blud-aoeT "It waa related that thla preacher waa atarvlng to death on aklmpy donatlona of catfiah. 'rjoeaum and a hundred dollar a year aaJary that waa aeldom paid. He finally made up hie . Jr mind te get away from tha old place f and tackle peaturea new. With tear dimmed eyea he atood up In prayer meeting to bid hia waeptnf congregation congrega-tion farewell. ' 'Brothera and aiatera,' ha aald, wiping hie eyea on hia red bandanna handkerchief, 'I've called you together tonight to.aay farewell. The IjarA haa catled ma to another place, t don't think the Lord lovea thla people much, for none of you aaem to die. Ha doean't aaem to want you. And you don't aeem to love each other, for I've never married any of you. And 1 don't think you love mo, for you don't pay ma my ealarynd your donatlona ara wormy applea and mouldy frull.-By their fruila ye aha II know them. " 'And now, brothera and elitere, I am going to a better place. I've bean appointed chaplain In tha atata penitentiary. peni-tentiary. Where I go ye cannot come, but I go to prepare a place for you..' " National Republican. |