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Show By DOHOTHV DIX (Copyright, mi. by the Wheeler Syndicate, Inc.) -THETELEPHONE The telephone is like a husband or wife. U'a one of the things that we can neither get along with, nor without. We are miserable If we have one, and Utterly wretched tf we don't have one. There are clays when the telphone naves ua a thouaand steps, when it enables ua to accomplish big buslnesa swiftly, when it cuts short what would be end lens hours of anxiety and waiting, wait-ing, when we arise and Mesa Ha Inventor In-ventor and all of Its manipulators from the president of the company down to Ills humblest "hello" g.rl. I And there are other days when the telephone janglea incessantly, when we pass a telephone without an Irresistible Irresisti-ble Impulse to use it. than a starving man could pass food without eating It. Telephoning is with them an obsession, obses-sion, a habit, a fixed idea. It doesn't make any difference whether they have anything to aay or not. they have Just (got to ring somebody up, and lay one more burden on the telephone company, and their long-suffering acquaintances. Then there Is the woman afflicted .with acuta telephones who usea the telephone to gossip over because it la a nice, sloppy, easy way to visit, as It does not require her to make the effort ef-fort of dressing up and going out on the Teases ". iv.aa a a. W vs s . eewisa, by idle people who have nothing to do but chatter about trifles; when the' bore against whom you have shut I your door crawls Into it through a wire 1 hole; when central gives the wrong! number at your busiest hour and you ! are IncessanUy told to "ring off," as ' if you were the aggressor Instead of the victim; when you hate and loathe j the telephone and wish that Mr. l'll hud been strangled at birth, before he ever conceived the malevolent idea of talking over a wire, and when you arise ;and curse the whole telephone system.! root and branch. HERE TO STAY. Hut, blessing adnc urse that It is, the telephone is with us to stay; and Just; i at presnt wherever two or three ar : gathered together the chief topic cf conversation la how rotten the service is. "I says, Jonts. have you taken your phon vut'.' 1 was trying to get your office all day to talk about that steel deal, but central always reported that nobody answered." i -My dear, I called you up six time! yesterday, and cent ntl said your Un was always busy." iSS runs the lam entation ending in the chorus, "Did you ever aea such poor service aa we get now?" I Now I hold no brief for the tele phone company. Personally, I am convinced con-vinced that they put every girl who is' an applicant for a position as operator,! . thro uk h the third degree, and only hire ! those who have proven that they are stone deaf and don't understand thai tKngllah langue, and to whom all num i bent look and sound alike. I But be that aa it may. while we are condemning the telephone company for I its bad service, it Is well to reflect upon how much we do to help make it ! bad. and how much we could do to Im- prove it If only we would do a little (team work with the company, instead of standing apart and anathematising i And especially women could help. If I only they could be got to have a con- science in the matter, and real I -that jthe telephone 1 for use and not a bus, j TELEPHONE. VICES, f For It Is not to be dmled that a vast' number of women ar afflicetd with iiX9 Uiejbona viva. They can no moraj . 4 No, In curl papers and wrappers and Corsetless, ah can flop in an easy chair by her telephone desk, and call jUP first one woman, and then another, jand exchange with them the tidbits of : acand.U that she so collects. It 1s Incredible, In-credible, but true, that there are wo-men wo-men who habitually do this thing, and I who Jhlnk nothing of monopolising a telephone wir for two or three hours every day In this wsy, and It never occurs oc-curs to them what a selfish thing they are doing or how much they are doing to demoralise a great public service. Of course women have a perfect right to make their engagements over the phone, and to us it for every legitimate purpose, but among these are not social so-cial calla. If women would develop a civic consciousness In this matter and make their year. yea. and their nay. nay, over the phone, it would do more than any other one thing to help out a bad situation. And It would save a vaat amount of valuable tim and much wear and tear on the tempera and dispositions of their friends, for ther is no greater pest than the female telephone fiend. Having nothing to do but to kill tlm herself, she forgets that the vast majority ma-jority of other women do not lead such useless lives. TOO MUCH TALK. They hav their housework to do, their children to attend to. a million duties clamoring for instant attention, and there Is nothing else in the world that makes a woman feel more murderous mur-derous than to have to leave the baby In Its bath or the bread half mixed, to answer tha telephone and find on tha other end of the wire a maundering bore who ramble on. and on. and on. Girls could not only help the trie-phone trie-phone service, but boost their own mat- , rimonlal chances by taking a vow never to us the phone except when It is absolutely necessary. Girls think they make a hit with young man when they call them up. and have long Jollying Jol-lying convarsatkma over tha wire. Never was a greater mistake made. A i man interrupted In business hours iai about as amiable aa a sore headed bear and no matter how he camouflages his i feelings, he is hoping and praying that! tha girl at tha Olbar and wt.i choke, orj fall dead before Ills boss catches him. Many a promising young chap has been telephoned out of a good position by silly girls, and the nuisance has become be-come eo great that now In most Dustiness Dust-iness houaea the awitehboard operator! I has orders to censor sll calls for employes em-ployes and hild the sentimental ones over until after office hours. J It la an old charge that women talk too much. They certaniy do over the' telephone. Here's hoping that they will 1 do their part In assisting the telphone I service by emitting about a million unnecessary un-necessary words a day. ITs be eaaliaued.) |