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Show PREPARES TO INVADE AFRICA I'a has hnd the hardest time of his llfo In l'nrls, nnd If I ever pitied n man It was I'a You see, that last Hy In the airship pretty near caused him to cash lu his chips, nnd go over Ihe long road to tho hcrourter. cause he got blood poison fiom the thorns tbnt run into him where he landed In Ihe top limbs of tho thornapplo tree, and ho sprained his aim anil one hind leg while being taken down with" a dor-rick, dor-rick, and then before we left the country town for Paris he drank some gonfs milk, which gave him ptomaine poison In his Inside woiks, and a peasant peas-ant woman who sewed up his pants where thev weie loin on the tree pricked him with u needle, and ho swelled up so ho was unable to sit In n car seat, ami bis face was scratched by the thorns of the tree ami there were, blotches all over him. so when wo got to I'm Is the health ollleers thought he hud smallpox anil sent him to a pest house, and they wouldn't let him In, hut vaccinated me and turned mo loose, and 1 went to the hotel and told about whore I'a wns, and nil about It, and they put our baggage In a sort of oven tilled with sulphur nd disinfected It. und stole somo of It, nnd they nindo me steep In n dog kennel, nnd for weeks 1 hud to keep out of sight, until I'a was dischargee from the hospital, and the friends of I'a out at tho airship club In the country got Pa's airship that ho bought for n government out of the tree nnd took It to the club and presented n bill for $2iio. and 1 only hnd $7, so thev bold It for lansom Oce, but 1 worried about Pa' Well, one day Pa showed up at the hotel looking like he had boon In a railroad wiock, und he was so thin his clothes had to be pinned up with safoty pins, ami he had spent all his money, and wns huisted. Tho man who hired Pa In Washing have got me In," snys Ph, ns we went to our room "What lu thunder did I have to do about It'" says I, Just like that. "I wasnt with you when you framed up this Job and let n man In Washington skin you out of your money by giving ou n soft snap snap which has ex ploded In your hands lice, Pn, what .vou need Is a maid or a valet, or something that will hold on to your wad" Pn sold he didn't need nny-body nny-body to act n's a guaullaii to him, 'cause he had all (he money he needed need-ed In his letter of credit to the American Ameri-can llxpiess Company lu Purls, and ho knew how to spend his money freely, but ho did hate to be buncoed and made the laughing stock of two continents. So Pa and I went down to the Kx press otllce, and Pn gave the man In charge a paper and the grand hulling sign of dlsliess, nnd he handed out bugs of gold and bales or bills, and Pa hid n lot lu his leather bolt and put some lu his pockets, und said Come, on, Homy, ami we will see this town, and buy It If wo like It " Well, wo went out after dmk and took In the conceit hulls nnd things, and Pa diank wine and I drank nothing noth-ing but ginger ale. and women who waited on iib putted his old bald bend, and tried to feel his pockets, but Pa held on to their wrlstH anil told them to keep away, ami I thought Pa was real Vaucy. A bond waller wblspeml to me and wanted to know what ailed the old sport, ami I told him Pa was bitten by n woir In our oil cub Inst year, and we foaioil he wns going to have by-ilrophobla, by-ilrophobla, and always when these spells come on the only thing to do wiih to throw him Into it milk of water, ami I should bonbllgul to them If they would tnko Pn ami duck him in the founlnlii In the center of the care, and save his life Pa was making up with the girl he After Pa Had Been Ducked In the Fountain They Charged for Two Ducks He Killed by Falling on Them. ton to go uhiond and buy airships foi the government told Pa to use his own money for a month or two ami then drnw on the secretary of the treasury for all he needed, so befoio Pa went to the hospital he drew on i his government for $10,000. nud when ho came back there was a letter for ' him from (he American consul In Paris telling him to call at the otllce, ' so Pa went theie and ihey niiestedl him on the charge of skull diigglug . They said he had no light to diaw for any money on the government at Washington. Pa showed bis pa , pcrs with the big soul on. und the i consul Inughcd In Pa's face, ami I'a was hot under tin collar and wanted ! to tight, but Ihey showed 111 in ihat I tho papeis ho had weie no good, nud that he had boon hum or d by some fakir In Washington who got 1500 from Pa fur securing him a Job as government ngent. and all his papers autlioil.ed him to do was to tiavel at his own expense and to buy nil the airships he wanted to with his own money, nnd Pn hnd a fit All the money mon-ey he had spent wns a dead loss, und , all be hud to show for it was a pune- , lined airship, which he was n fill III to j ride in. j Pa sworo at Ihe government, at the . consul, and at the mini who buncoed Mm. and thoy released him fiom nr ' rest, when he promised tliut ho wou'd I not pose any more ns n government agent, and we went hack to the hotel, , "Wel this Is a fine scrape you! 0 had paddled with (he silvoi tray, buy lug champagne for her uiiil drinking some or it himself out of her slipper, when the head waiter callid half a iloen rtcuchmou who were doing p lice duty, mid told Hit in to duck Pn lu tin- fountain, und they grabbed him by the (ollur and the pants and made him walk turkey IiiwiihIk the fouii lull), and he held on to the girl, und the I'reiK linien threw Pa ami the girl into Ihe brink with a Hock of ducks, and ihey went under wider, nnd Pa cnine up llrst yelling minder, and then the girl came up hanging to Pa'a neck, and she gave a Ku-ncli veil of agony, mill Pa gave ihe grand hailing sign if dlsliess. and yelled to know If their was not mi Atnei ban present t lust would protect nn American eltlen fiom the hands of u Paris mob The ciowd gatheiMl mound the circular fountain basin and one iliunken follow Jumped In the uatii and was going to hold Pa's bend under water while the girl found his money when I'a yolltd 'III', llulie." Die way Ihey do In a cIiciih when them Is a light, and by ginger It wssut a second befoio half a lo u old ( lions mi u tliut iikhI belong to ihe circus when Pn wns malinger In the states made a nish for the fountain, knocked tho Kieiichineii pulley west, mid pulled Pa out of the wnter and let him drain off, nnd they said: "Hello, old man, how.Ud you happen to let them drown you?" mid I'a saw who tho hoyr woro 'and ho husi-d them. niuUluvIf"! ti-eiu to nil take something and then go to hi? When Pn paid the check for (h! di Inks thoy charged In Iwo duckB they H said Pa killed In tho tank by fnlllnje M on them. Hut Pa paid It nnd was so H tickled to moot the old circus boys H that he gave tho glil ho wont lu H swimming with a 20 franc note, and M after staying until along towards H morning v all Kt Into and on top M of a hack and went to the hotel and H sat up till daylight talking things H ov H We found the circus boys weie on H the wny to (lormnny (o go with the M lliigcnhuch outllt to South Afilcn to M capture wild animals for circuses and H rXt 1 I IXlrWlk I K& I Pa' Face Was Scratched, So They H Sent Him to the Pest House. H when Pn told the boss, who was ono H or tho llagonbach's malingers, about H his alnililp and what a dandy thing It H would be to sail around whom the H lions and tigers live lu the Jungle, H und lasso (hem. rriiin up In the air, H out of danger, he engaged Pu and me H to go along, and I guess wo will know H all about Africa piotty soon H The next day we wont out to the H club whoie Pa keeps his airship, with ' H the boss or the llugoiihachV outllt H and a cowboy that used to bo with H Pa's elieus. to pi notice lussolng things. J H They got out the machine nud Pa H steered It, and tho boss and I wore H passengers, and tho cowboy was on s H the tailing In front with his Inilat rope, und we sailed along about 50 j H feet high over the fauns, until we saw H a big gout. The cowboy motioned for H Pa to stoerr to wauls the goat, and I when wo got near enough Uio cowboy r H thiew-the ropo over the goat'n horns - H and lightened It up, nud .Mr. float l came light along with lis, bleating nnd H lighting. Wo led Ihe goal ahoiii half H u mile over some fences, and tljally M enme down to tho giouud to exii.iiliio M our catch, nud we landed nil tight, M and llageuhach'H boss said It was thn jH greatest scheme that over wiih foi jH catching wild uiilmuls, and he doubled j Pa's salary, nnd snld we would pack ,H up the next day and go to Ihe Ha H gciilmch fat m lu ncriimny and take H a steamer for South Africa lu n wtek JH They were talking it over, und tho "H (owboy had leloased the gout, whin H Hint animal made u cbaigo with his H heud on rim purty Ho struck Pn be- H low the bolt, bulled the boss In the H tiouseis until ho laid down and H hogged roi meiey, stubbed tho cowboy H with Ids horns, und (lieu made u hop, H skip ami Jump for the gas hag, biust a H hole lu li. ami when the gas began H lo escupo the gout's hornii got cniighl H In Hie gus bug and Ihe goat died from H Ihe elferls of tho gas, nud we weie all H glnd until about 50 ponsnut women H eaine aerohs the Holds with iigileiillur I ul Implements, und weie going to Ml) H us nil H I'a snld 'Well, whut do you know H about tliut'' hut tho women wore I llerco and wanted blood The boss H could talk 1'ieiich and h offered to H give Ihom tho goat to settle II, but H thoy said ll was their goat anyway, H nud lliov wanted blood in damages H I'll wild It was eltslei lo give illllil H ages than blood, und Just as they wore H going to cut up tho gas hag the boss settled with them for about $20, und hired them in haul tho alishlp lo (he I neai est Million, and wo shipped It to H llcilln. and got read) to follow the I next day. H Pu snys we will have a high ohl I Hunt In Afrliu lie says ho wants K to ride up to a lion's don In bis air- I ship and dure the llcices! lion to coiiui I out and light, nnd thai he wouldn't H Ilk- any hotter fun than to Hdo ovoi 71 it nival llengnl tiger In tho junglo, Bj und iinch down and grub his tall nud B make him snail like u torn onl on a Q fence In the alley. 9 He talks ubiitii ilillng down a herd I of elephants, and il'kfng out the big. gist ones und toping litem: and the I a, Pa s going to faro ihlaoce.oMS and hippopotamuses anil make them I bleat like calves Is a wonder H I think Va is ihe bruvegt man I om-i I suw. when ho tolls It, but I notlctd I when ho had that gout by tho horns I nud bo wus ciiunht In a barbed wito I fence so the nlishlp hnd to slow down I until he came loose, I'a turned as pale H ns a shoot, und when the gout bucked I him In the stomach I 'it's pg moled I us though he was piaylng. v(lJl, nny. H wny. this trip to Afilcn In cntch wild I nnlmuls Is going to show whai klml .JJB of sand theie Is In all of us. |