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Show JIMMY, THE NEWSBOY, ON SOME THINGS HE SEES "Say," said Jimmy, the newsboy, when he saw The Telegram man today, "I've got a good llrie of dope for you. Was out chtnnln' last night wid an old 'nickel-grabber who was reelln' off his past stunts. Wot's a 'nickel-grabber T Why, a conductor on a street car, of . course. "De usually travels in teams. Dat is de collectin' guy and his pal wot works the current end at the juice switch at de front of de cat. "He'd just been fired. It seems Ms cay bumcs Into a funeral procession. They both knew wot was comln' to them when dey grot the call to see the 'super,' de bead g-uy, you know. " 'Now, tell me about dls collision, laid the superintendent 'Begin at the start and give It ta me fact by fact. Understand r " 'Well,' says me friend, 'it was like dls. We nit the last carriage, which was partly off de track, broke de glass on one side, and Jarred the occupants up a bit. " 'What else? says de big guy. " 'Wall, ws hit the next carriage de same way.' "'Couldn't you stop sooner dan dat?' he asks. 'Anything else?" " 'We hit the next one.' " 'And then?' " The next one, and the next one, and the next one, and the next one, and ' " 'For heaven's sake:' yells the 'super, 'su-per, 'where did you stop hitting them?' " 'We didn't hit any more after we bumped de hearse,' says the motorman. "What became of your conductor friend? "Gee, he didn't watt to hand In his 'resig after dat talk, but started out of town on foot. "Say, I was in a place yesterday where a guy was playln' 'Home. Sweet Home' on de cash register as he was doln de orderin" bo fast. Dey got a new wrinkle ln dls 'corn Juice factory.' Dey gives away green tradln' coupons. Dey tries to slip a bundle of dem In dls Romeo's fist. 'Wot for?' he yells. 'Git a thousand and you gets a piano,' speels back de boss. "'A piano.' says de guy. 'If I ever drank enough of your bum stuff to entitle en-title me to 1000 coupons. I wouldn't need no piano. I'd want a harp.' "Say." dese street kids are dere wid de Joshin' all right, ain't dey? I comes along today as one of dem was pud-dlin' pud-dlin' around ln a puddle of water, and one of dem fussy old geezers that used to remember Horace Greeley when he was young, slops and says to his kid-lets. kid-lets. " 'Sonny, you'll catch your death from cold if you don't stop gettln your feet wet ' " 'Dat's wot I want to get,' says back de kid. 'I'm goln' to speak 'Spartacus to de Gladiators' at school tomorrow, and I wants to get me voice hoarse so 1 can do it like Nat Goodwin does.' "But. say, wot I wants to chin about was dls. In de Wilson today was a guy luggln' around a monocle and a London accent. He was overwelghed for fair, but bears up well under de handicap. He was throwln' the harpoon har-poon Into de clerk about wot rum little places de cities are In dis country. " 'Why. dear old Lunnon alone,' he says, 'has 128 Union streets; 119 New streets; 109 Oeorge streets: 99 Queen streets; 95 King streets; 91 Charles streets; 88 William streets; 87 James streets; 78 Princes streets, and 57 Elisabeth Elisa-beth streets. Wot do you think of dat?' he asks, 'for size?' " 'It's great, simply great,' says de clerk, 'but wot I'd like to know is dis. when you tells your cabby to drive to Elizabeth street how does he know which one of Mr. Helntz's fifty-seven varieties you want to go to?' "But, say, did you see In de polper where a Brooklyn fire marshal has been suspended for makln' love to a pretty girl In an engine-house? "Proper quite, you say. Wot of it? Only dl. De people in Brooklyn den, if dis is de truth, must be expected to do most of their flirting in church or on der way home from divine worship, eh? "Say, dem fellers from Butte are hot sports, eh? One of dem In the Kenyon hotel last night lost 2 on their man McCarthy, who was put dowrr for the count by Mellody. Well, after de returns re-turns comes in the man from Butte sends across to the drug store for a hypodermic injection and has It jabbed Into his shoulder. "What for? Why, so he could get enough strength in his arm to pay up with. Well, s'long." |