OCR Text |
Show 1 . : FAT HUSBANDS ARE - I I THE.EASIEST MARKS : r ' j Tat husbands are the easiest to tame. Fat men make tbe most docile husbands hus-bands in the world. These opinions voice the sentiments of married women wo-men the world around. It 1 "eldom that a fat man makes poor husband. Why is it? , ; In the first place, a fat husband seldom sel-dom troubles himself about the management man-agement of the household. He" trusts everythln to hlsjwife. He pays hr. bills ungrudgingly. Hs . doesn't pilnd noise or confusl6n. . On tbe other hand, the lean husbands nature Is to worry over' (rifling details. He- is apt -to Insist on running the household to, suit himself. GeneraUy be lays down the law. His wife is his servant.-' He is exacting, critical, sometimes some-times eault-findlng-joftentlmes domineering. domi-neering. To prove these contrasts look around in your, own circle of acqualntanceSy Jones is fat and Brown is. lean. Both fixe married i and have homes of their own. Both are in well-to-do, circumstances, circum-stances, with, money in the bank. that in marrying him she will not be giving her independence with his keeping. keep-ing. She knows that If she goes out to buy a spring bonnet her fat husband will not raise any objection. She knows If her relations visit her fourteen times a year he will at the most protest only feebly. - Best of all, she will know that as long as she studlee her husband in respect to his likes and dislikes, and does not pester him to be constantly on the move, her career will be a happy One. There is, of course, one drawback to tbe fat husband. If goaded too far. his usual good nature will have a relapse and then your fat husband becomes sullen. sul-len. He will not explode and free his mind in one burst of wrath and have it oer with. Not he. But he will go around the house as sulky as a bear. He will be glum and gloomy, and make himself generally disagreeable. The wife of a fat man knows how to bring him out of these rare fits of sullen gloom. She knows of experience that fat husbands are as susceptible to laughter as children are to measles, and she does not find it difficult to guide him from the abyss of household gloom to the brightness of sunshine. ' If a young woman has made up her mind that she will .wed- one or the other she may tell by the way they propose whether their dispositions wlU be "fat. or lean," .. . . The young man whose tendency to be lean all through life will make a quick nervous proposal. and insist on .having a prompt "yes" for an answer. He Is likely to be a bold. Impetuous wooer. His proposal is likely to be made un expectedly. The: girl Is not Ukajy to have any warning that it is even coming. com-ing. All at once when she may' think he is going to ask her to go to the theater with him, she discovers to her surprise that he is asking her to be his wife and expects her to say "yea" the next minute. . y . . .. . With the fat wooer it 'is different He goes about his lovemaklng with a ponderous pon-derous ostentation that lets everybody in the neighborhood into the secret. He stalks his gama as a hunter would frightened deer. He makes no concealment conceal-ment of his attentions that he has selected se-lected her for his own. but that be lain la-in no hurry to claim her. HIS wooing progresses slowly but methodically. The young woman generally gen-erally knows several weeks In advance the exact date upon which she may expect ex-pect a proposal. When that date come her fat wooer calls with ostentation of manner and placidity of demeanor. He is deliberate and unruffled. The young woman is not permitted to become flustered In the least The fat man's proposal is as deliberate delib-erate as has been his wooing. Generally Gener-ally he makes It something like this: ; . . .::.: ; . ' Go into Jones's home. You see no furrows on Jones's browi no look of care on the face of Mrs. Jones. The dinner is late Jones smiles and says he can' eat all the more "when it does come. The steak Is burnt Jones says , it makes him think of his camping day in the woods when he broiled his venison veni-son in- the fire on a stick, and it was always al-ways burnt. .The children race up and down the hall, beat drums, blow tiu horns, laugh, shout, cry and Jones, with a placid smile, murmurs, "Bless their hearts." "He never complains of th-s children. ' The satisfied Mrs. Jones arranges her household adornments to please herself. She chats with callers and lets the work take care of Itself. When bills come in she takes them to Jones without with-out trembling for she knows that he never grumbles. She doesn't hesitate to ask Joner for money. In fact, his pocket book- usually lies oft the dresser and she helps herself, and if she takes all there is she knows Jones will only InHO-V Now, go across the street to Brown's house.' Brown is lean. He has a worried wor-ried air. In Brown's house the furniture furni-ture is placed where he wants It The pictures hang where he wants them to. It is plain to be seen that Brown runs the house. He fixes the hours for meals. He wires the cook. He orders the gro-. ceries. He counts the laundry. Brown, the lean - husband goes around the house in the evening to see that the gas jets are not turned too high. He prowls around to see that closet doors are shut, that bureau drawers are closed, that windows are fastened. It is. Brown who compels the children to keep quiet in the house. He objects to some of his wife's callers. Others he forbids her to see. He finds fault with his meals. He makes himself him-self disagreeable although . he haBn'i the slightest Idea in the world that he does. Brown loves his' wife fondly but he makes her account for every penny she spends for dresses and ribbons. He admires ad-mires her when she puts on a new gown or a new hat, but - he always wants to know how much either one cost. Yet, when all Is said and done. It is not the lean man's fault that the fat man excels as a husband. The fat man seems to have- been especially designed for an easy-going, domestic life. Nature Na-ture has endowed him with many qualities quali-ties she has denied to the lean man. She has made the fat man naturally indolent, both as to exertion and temper. tem-per. He likes to move slowly, to rest. It is the restful nes of the fat man which makes a girl tolerably certain that if she marries him she will make him contented and be contented herself. her-self. She feels that he will be likely to give her that liberty and freedom that married women delight in. ' She feehi "Miss Smith,' I think you have observed ob-served for the last year that I have been willing to make you my wife. Having made no concealment of my ln-; ln-; tentlontf I now tell you that I love you and ask you to marry me. But I do not wish to hurry you. You need not answer me tonight. Next week will do Just as welL Then, after thinking the matter over carefully, if you decide In. your heart that you love me, I shall be one of the happiest men In the world; but don't hurry." When the young woman receives a proposal of this kind she may look upon up-on herself as singled out for one of the , blessed of earth, for she may be certain cer-tain that if she answers such a proposal pro-posal in the affirmative she will secure a husband easy to manage and a home of quiet, comfort and sunshine. There may be some in this world who will not agree with the theory that fat men make the best husbands: but if you wlU look closely at the men who dispute the theory you wilf find they are lean and have a wearied look. Chicago Tribune. |