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Show JIMMY, THE NEWSBOY, ON DUTIES OF A DIPLOMAT "Say," said Jimmy, the newsboy, when he espied The Telegram man, "I been thlnkln a bit. Now. don't start to kid me about yon not thlnkln' I had anythln' to think with. You see It come about this way. "I was up to the Knutsford hotel with me poipers last night, as I always sella a few there. What Rind? Ah,, quit your string-In. .You knows I mean the Tele's. They're the only ones dat sells. "Well, as I was tellin" you. I runs Into In-to a crowd of two big- political guys at the hoteL I guess dey was Senators all right. Anyway, one of dem was, for de other called him dat. .An' be looked the part, too. " 'Say, Senator. said one to the other. oth-er. 'You've made a losln' shot on In-dorsln' In-dorsln' that guy you did for that place In the dlplomato corps. Why, you've made an oft play for fair. Do you know that geeier ' used to be In the liquor business, eh?' h Sure." said the gent wot was called the Senator, never turnln' a "hair or battin' an eye. 'Dat's Just the reasoii I'm pluggin' him for the Job. If any one is there with the goods to be a wise guy In -Washington, it's my man. If he gets the chance to show 'em. he'll make good with any diplomatic dat ever hit Roosevelt's town. i 'How do I figure dat out? Has he ever had an experience? Say. and de Senator leaned over and splnned out a line of argument dat would have donu for a champion prize fighter dodgln' a fight. " 'Has a saloonkeeper got to be diplomatic? diplo-matic? Bay, did you ever stop to tink wot he's got to do? Say, he's got to talk on every subject wot ever was and be dere all the time with the talk. too. Say, he's got to be up on religion, de stoige. the fighters, blcyclin and run-nln' run-nln' de horses, politics, labor troubles, mlnln' and bankln. all de war news, society and everythin else. -He's got to be able to smile when a guy wins a cool 100 cigars with a plugged nickel and han' dem over with alaff. he's got to be able to take the "fussy bat" who is lookln' for trouble and get him off the war trail by "con" talk, he's got to. be able to stand In with the police, to know when to say "no" to anyone ask-in' ask-in' credit without drlvin" business away, answer de telephone and don chase down the street a block or two to call some one dat never comes In his place, to tell when a fellow comes In all ruffled up whether he la a professional profes-sional hobo or a reputable citizen out on a merry carouse, to settle all arguments argu-ments and agree with each without ot-fendln' ot-fendln' any of de other push, to throw "rough house" guys out before dey has a chance to take the mirrors along wld 'em, to stan' for fellows who drop their glasses on d floor after hangln' up dt roun and tellin' him it'a punk, without with-out gettin' mad. and everythin' else dat would ' make any other man with no more spirit dan a rabbit fight like a bulldog. " 'If dat ain't enuf to let a man In on de groun' floor of de diplomatic game,' said de Senator, 'den I don't know wot kind of a "rep" a man has'got to have.' "Wot do I tink of de line of talk myself?" my-self?" said Jimmy to the reporter. "Well, I'll tell you. I'm only a poor newsboy, and I can't set myself up again' a big guy wot made the speel, but honest, here's me views, all right, all right You know dere may be a play In gittln' dls saloon guy appointed. De trouble In dat some politicians fink their own interests is de interests of d common people. Are you on? "Well, so long for now. I've got to chase over to the drug store. Me mud-der mud-der made me a meat pie out of a cook book, and I guess I got the binding, all right, all right' |