Show A Round Auto Row OW I By Bo So Garvey This morning as I rubbed my eyes drowsIly drowsily ily to the accompaniment of a garish 3 o'clock alarm I thought of those glad free days on the farm when an automobile automobile automobile auto auto- mobile was as welcome to the farmers as asa asa asa a fly would be in a glass of champaign here in Utah It was partly to escape the music of the alarm that I left the farm farn you know And AndI I reminisced sadly For I couldn't help but thi think that had I stayed on the old ranch I would now be using gasoline In Instead Instead instead In- In stead of writing stuff to indus others to do so This is just by by byway way of appraising my friends friends' around the circle that I have met with a melancholy fate and no more will willI I be privileged to sit and chat with Sid Ski Theobold for an hour or two listening earnestly to his jokes of two decades back in the hope that my unfailing courtesy will wm Ielda two-by-four two ad for the ever eYer greedy business office This guy Harvey Harve is at the bottom of ot all ali my troubles Yes he is the direful spring or well of all my woes Harvey got jealous because 1 was stealing his stuff He remonstrated with me several times saying baying that he had that style of newspaper bunk copyrighted I only laughed him to scorn however I Inow Inow Inow now see my mistake e e. e for it seems that I Harvey larvey arvey is pretty close to the Big Boss of this paper And Harvey went to the boss Joss and said if Bo Garvey me didn't have anything better to do than turn out fifty words of something that nobody reads it IL would be a fine idea to put him to work So they drafted me for tor the copy desk On this job all you have to do is get up at 2 or 3 o'clock every morning and work till midnight every night In what time you have left over you can eat sleep and get out an automobile section But Harvey Harver isn't altogether to blame It was only natural that he should be jeal jeal- ous I attach a good deal of blame to Russ Ruts Richards who used to keep leep me from my office hours at a time trying to tell me why a is superior to a Ford And Arid then there were Hap and Ollie Good Goodwin win down at Smiths Alkire They were forever calling cailing me up on the phone telling tolling toll tell ing me not to forget that their company is ib the oldest dealer in fellah J JAnd And Bill Iwho who was continually trying to slip over over a picture of a Sandow Sandow Sandow San- San dow truck on me Bill would insist that such a picture was a fine news feature because the Sandow had been chosen by bythe bythe bythe the government to carry soup to the sol sol- sol sol- diers I I And after Id I'd patiently waited a a. number of hours on while he would try to get an engraver to make nake the cut for nothing Id I'd have to go around and see all the other truck dealers like e Arlie Arlle Savage Savage Sav Say age and Maxwell Gates and Colonel Quigley Quig- Quig ley and tell them that the Sandow was or is Is only a push cart compared to their trucks Of course all this took time And then Id I'd have to go to two or three dozen times more or less to get a copy of a letter or something that M. M K I. Crandall Jr was always going to give to make mae a real news article as he would say for the paper And when Saturday would finally roll around Crandall would still be promising to have that letter dug up from the files tiles This same thing would happen the next week Can you wonder then that I had nothIng nothing noth noth- ing lag much at the end of the week to hand in to the automobile editor who by bythe bythe bythe the way is one of the best friends I have Im I'm not blaming him a bit He lie never said a word to Harvey or the Big B Boss ss who is not the hale fellow I thought he was was by the way I will say though that s he-'s hearty if it he Isn't hale He lie comes in every morning and gets a hearty laugh at seeing me mc Bo Garvey debasing the glorious art of journalism on a sordid copy desk I had to embalm these few lines in this kind I of ot paragraph for tor fear O. O Harvey might read them and get me In In worse than I Iwas Iwas Iwas was before I If any of the automobile dealers includIng including ing log I. I C. C P. P Jack McCooey C. C J. J Simpson Marmon Maynes or any of the others want me at any any- anytime time to try tryout out outa a new joke on or act as a subject for a demonstration hell he'll have to call me at atThe atThe atThe The Telegrams Telegram's copy desk That is ia one one I reason why I wrote this this this-so so they'd all I 1 know what has become of me |