Show I. I I G S ii Ila r I Ir r r r S. S S til i l f 1 i I a aI I t ll m t i f i I IiI 9 I ti r I I 4 I 7 r f oJ a r r s 1 I u Ot t k kS qt S 5 f I i 4 r I I H B r S. S H t I i i 4 I I I 3 I t r a o I A Aa Ai i a I 4 I r p I i J 4 i f 1 1 I i fI J. J s l Jt l II Her Ker mother as at alum always alway waa waiting up M I g f-g t 0 t The Fair Myrtle Tells to Another Another Another An An- other One Her Standards of an an Eligible Suitor T WAS the floorwalker who who who- I When one ono mentions the tho floorwalker floorwalker floor floor- walker wallter and appends who that thatis is the time tune to drive in hi the dash 1 emblem of suspense and suspend while commensurate comment is in introduced introduced in- in appertaining to the I of tho floorwalker The floorwalker is to a bi big store storo what tho 1 captain is to the tho papier I macho mache cafe what the butler is to th the upper world melodrama what the umpire is to the the- baseball contest contest contest-a a astern stern male of ambidextrous gestures little finger projected an and palm poised aloft trained in every evelY mien and practiced to move on cue cuo an anima animated d indicator a duke without entailed acres a delineator of specific with joints and angles a servant in livery yet a despot The floorwalker has gotten into unjust unjust un un- just disrepute through tho the myth that it is he who insinuatingly insinuating informs tho the honest underpaid female slave of industrial industrial in- in j dus trial mills toning toning- that tha t if her salary isn't enough she ran art in i go get a u t j friend Girls who have havo i WO Worked behind many counters counter's tell me authoritatively that no flo floor r- r walker ever eer told them that But the tile floorwalker is Js just the same damned dammed by the tho curbstone orator on this score about as the bartender who merel merely serves you what you ou ask for and want to pay for Is called a demon and what sounds even more moro tooth bearing a suds shover The floorwalker used to wear a Prince Albert punctuated with a pink But now praise be ho wears tho the conventional conventional con con- business suit and is distinguished only for the thC conventional imitation pearl in hi Ills his I Klever Kra Kravat vat et on n appearance Iara nC He 10 j uH used d ulao also to be very verr tall and spare no now V ho 8 13 of the various builds of various men this this is because every everyman everyman man mati crin can wear wear sack Jackets but only thin spare men could wear Prince Alberts without attracting a crowd Tho The floorwalker exercises a limited superintendence over the work of the j sales folks He also marks O 0 K Kon K on tho the ticket when a charge chargo account customer wants to carry goods out outI I in person Besides he strolls about looking for women who are arc looking 1 for counters ers directing them where the they y can spend their husbands husbands' husks to appease h individual j passions The floorwalker hl has peen been divorced I from his most flash flashy authority since since exUn waning eventual t the lie waning and It is difficult t to toy Jf the at a metal cyL 03 yI harsh words shooting Through through a a. pneumatic ic al al And when there il is a cashier length of f wrapper within arms arm's leng dela delays delays' st most every salesperson considerably f so errors are floorwalker is large largel 1 y ya that the wit specialist horse doctor a a by the ai adv dv patients dispossessed I of machinery floorwalker is J hie hh The Tho noble like the J Jis e aring b bis As is a growing Crowing less intensive e each N year i sellers become for loco loca need decline in the is a theand oun young and the hawY handles iles humpbacked nette who fichUS fiches would I II lace Irish pins or to go I ably 1 toll the floorwalker to wise het hel helI r head if he tried his S sell seli her a e eshe I gar garding Ing how to high c cI through has gone she sho thE stores storrs I g gone one through weathered the tM pro college and learned lear I servi service e routine romine her sir Sll about the merc ise on s I than an editorial writer should I how the next election out For 11 nil all 11 those these It se floorwalker r i i- i drop n b ai lif h h. h 1 an slid o i inroads of dad o un cu nB ng p j Ii i 1 X r I GOOD 0 OD NIGHT NiGH T LIA MA g I By Jack lack La Lait cd d from preceding pa page e. e I Sons ns the evolution of ef- ef lio he o de de of trained blending Into trained i Once he handled handle human w were numbers now they nd jid probably stock stock- n fl business engaged only x UltI e tie scrutiny Into char char- No floor- floor can ride with flying a ort of a herd herd ho ho has to tc toI I e 1 and obey bey aisle crossing s b. b he is a plain clothes h duties carded and dis- dis is- is hout prerogatives of hire or even much ire then was the floorwalker e If floorwalker who drew up at the Crawford dwelling iss rj Myrtle the fair and icy laiO 36 ho had dodged matrimony InS of man many calibers lame ame was The boys have hae called him mm in 1 Tr or fur for short were he her I Ir r But no one not even the Superintendent of James Ii store starE ever called rs r's him less less' r he he was just that I te e had matriculated as a clerk gold filled wedding ring do- do isome two twenty-two years be- be night By dig- dig erance urban urbanity it regular- regular ff daily shoe shine he had in the two twenty i i jle position of floorwalker entire gold filled department I Iro Irons s. s name was Calvert which I 10 consequence It as no one even his mother ever evec called I II j I She probably called him vms fins had escorted Myrtle made formally sevy sev- sev y earlier to a downtown which was host to a play of class class-a ss-a ss a Morocco or Belasco k ke kyA A sundae at a downtown nerY had properly followed p pay y as you enter to the cor- cor the Crawford home foot to the sidewalk sidEwall adjacent nt door where we find ith th a sigh of thanks to toI I that the evening was over I her knitting bag for her herBut herBut But ut the stars had obtained ks a slight or Mr I the eve- eve s ut beginning He had hade e except Indeed and With ll 11 through the four hours I ad d. d called for the model modelo o lock But there was a great deal to be said and he proposed proposed pro plO posed to say it now Well Vell began Myrtle welling In inI that indubitable indubitable- manner which is the I orthodox prologue to Ill say good goodnight I night now I But Mr ins raised his right hand the one with the glove glo on and projected its little finger and poised I its palm aloft I j Miss Cr said he in the thin I m metallic voice oice with which for fo so I many years years he had congratulated I giggling bridegrooms who reddened and beamed as they inquired what J I I size plain ring worth not over three J dollars would fit nt a blon blonde e angel with lone one tooth out in front may I 1 come comet comeI I t in wih with you ou or would you prefer to i have me state my sa say ay out here I Your say Mr Your say j about which About my intentions said he with the subtlety of ot a floorwalker I i I l I didn't know kow as you had any any Oh but I have Myrtles Myrtle's hand had found and gripped the key She limply opened her grasp gasp and let the little litte flat de de- de fall fal back into the Jungles of the bags bag's contents Not for nothing had she listened to a dozen proposals she she v kI what was imminent She swept Mr with a glance of i her trained eye ere and half hal mechanically began to calculate how long it i would require to hear the history of his case tabulate his symptoms stethoscope stethoscope stethoscope scope his heart action acton read his temperature temperature tem tern and give him his medicine She tapped one dainty foot thus I That meant Yes yes go on I Miss said Mr I setting his hIs' other hand on the hip which was vas was its is accustomed place of support and repose for many years I 1 Iwas Iwas was in wedding rings During those I years I 1 sold thousands of happy young men I 1 could see the they were happy though some of them were cheap skates slates who wouldn't lay layout out an extra half hal a adolar dollar dolar to get a ring that would wear at least till ti she started stared suit for divorce divore But they were happy happ I 1 never understood understood understood under under- stood just how happy happ they were and just wh why they were so happy never happy never until lately to be exact never until after aner I saw you times I Was Vas there anything about me that explained to you why those poor clams I cams were grinning like a lot of simps I There I was a There was What there was about you made me I feel like what there was wa about oth other r girls made those happy boys who were I buying wedding rings at my counter in contemplation of the grandest feeling that can come to a man feel fee It I dont don't quite seem to make sense said Myrtle Myrte but go ahead Something tells me this is going to be good Good This comes comE'S into the tha lifetime of the average woman once and only once once It II It- It I- I If I you mean what Im I'm 11 thinking of It Conies comes cones to me so off offen n that It i costs mo me about an hours hour's sleep about three evenings a week hoot Shoot hoot Love Miss 1188 Now VV never mind that that You were ere f talking about ring rings ringI I can come clean with you ou on that and save you a long sermon on love what love what a P. wonderful it i Is Is how it i comes over a man like a sudden dose of boils breaking boils breaking out all bols al over and very Sery painful and very hard and to get rid rie of and of-and and all al that line lne of poetry You were talking about rings when I so rudely interrupted you Mr What about the rings you sold sole for so many years before you ou rose to your present job Those rhose rings were ere symbolic they were emblematic Miss of the most profound impulse that comes to toman toman toman man the I impulse lse which has evolved society from savagery which has created created cre cre- civilization which whIch- I You read that in in a a to the trade Now well we'll wel take tale all al that for granted I know what a wedding ring stands for My Iy mother has one That 1 ring ring- has stood for plenty of soap suds and dishwater she's sha's she's all al wore out ma mais is but the ring is as good as new yet i I 1 know you sold wedding rings rings- Ah but I 1 am not here to speak of I selling them What I was getting around to was well was was wel well buying Mr is the tho buyer in that tha department and theres there's three tree others ahead of you if I he dies I This is not a question of department buying The purchasing that I 1 was about to propose there propose there Ive I've Ive let it it out Have you I Of Ot course silly goose that I am Propose that's that's the word that slipping slip slip- ping out unconsciously as it I. I were spills all al the beautiful beans O 0 does it Most assuredly my dear der madam madam- I 1 mean Miss The shopping that I was on the point of announcing was entirely retail retail retail-a a a one ring party party- just one ring a plain gold band carefully carefully care care- cre- cre fully and scientifically fitted to the third finger of your little white Ie left lefthand t hand I Mr craned his head forward forward- to better beter see by the gleam glem of the arc I light across the street the the answer in her alluring face Myrtles Myrtle's Myrtes Myrte's expression registered nothIng nothing nothing noth noth- ing that he could interpret For a second sec eec sc- sc ond she looked beyond him Then she sho said Im Im very sorry Mr awful awful sorry Youre You're a n nice feller teler Mr Mi 11 I A lot of girls would be happy and proud I spose to be your wives Then why be sorry SOl 1 Cause Im I'm Im not one of those girls Mr I trot got certain Ideas about marriage mariage which are set and settled I And Im I'm Im sorry Mr lr r. r you ou you cant can't cantI cantfill cantfill fill fi those ideas I You me Miss said sard Mr 11 almost losing I I didn't look for any such an answer i from you ou I didn't I l could never nevel be a poor pOOl mans man's wife I I Poor I d draw raw two thirty fifty fy every ever week in my Is that poor It It is Mr It I may sound a alot lot to you but my notions well are well up un in the hundreds I Those are dangerous Miss MissI I For a girl in your our position i they are almost deplorable I might I say J JI I the matter maUr with my my position I tion ton Its It's IB one of ot the finest paying of any girl in the store Its It's Is I's just my I Uon tion that makes maltes me the way I am on onI I tho the question queston of marrying I see women i I what haven't got half hal my looks or my my my build with wih charge accounts that read go as far as you like kid Idd they bu buy more clothes than what they could ever wear veal they're as fussy tussy as a lot of duchesses they own the world Why they got rich husbands that's why I Look out young out young Youre You're I getting on tin ice When Viet a girl begins I I to talk talc like le that that that- I O 0 Im I'm Im no child You n needn't worry about my morals When I sell myself I for clothes the advance royalty is got gotI gotto I to be bo pushed through one of those litI littie lit lit- tt- tt I I tie te rings you used to sell sell se this'll be a solid sold gold one I Perhaps many of those hussies that I buy huy those clothes you talk of once I that way too But they cant can't I I always get rich husbands What's the i result They take what they can get gel I And a good many of those dames what charge so aint aInt charging to toI I I I any husband at al all Bull Bull That's what a lot of killjoys say ay But I know For lor every everyone one that's I got a gardeen or or uncle a thousand is got honest check- check writing hoob boob husbands The Tho oldest is famous but by and large its it's Is I's mighty scarce The that I most women adopt after long study In Inthe inthe inthe the private American collidge is only only they spell it i mat I ter o ter o S You mean you mean you mean to tell tel me I here that youre you're gonna put yourself on the counter with a n price tag pinned to you You mean mean- r T mean mean nothing like lle that The man manI I I marry I got to love first But if i I he cant can't take up a fair fall size price tagI tag tagI I cant can't love him see Im I'm Im on no I counter at all al One girl cant can't love lovea I a man hes he's got a Roman nose another cant can't love a man mn i hes he's big and another girl 1 cant can't love a man he goes to the I same church as what she does an- an I other girl cant can't love a man hes he's I 1 smart and witty wIty another girl cant love a man hes he's an artist arist or a or a Swede or a soldier or ora ora ora a motorman Theres There's all al sorts of private atE vate rules that girls fix in their own ow mind for the man mon they can love love A princess cant can't love lo a 1 man hes he's a prince a a. a cant can't nt love a man mar hes he's been divorced a couple q o times a a shoplifter cant can't love a n man ma hes he's a dip a n chorus girl cant can't love a guy if 1 h he dont don't smell of gin ginand ginard arid and gasoline a cant can't love lovea a teller feller feler he ho used to play football f for r Yale Well Wel i J t cant can't love a party hes he's got a banI bankroll rol Is that peddling myself on a counter or is it the sacred sacred law of ot When my mate calls me I got ot to hear a rustle ruste or to put It I in the classical fp figger er of speech the tinkle of his golden message of love My love toye comes but its it's is i's gonna be love love love- square Christian Christan decent love and that that kind of love can Cn be delivered through the front door of a manion mansion just as good as what it i can through the kitchen door of a frame shanty Mr Mr drew back The heated breathless onslaught ht of Myrtle Myrte on her I |