Show Its It's In the Bag If You Yau Believe Candidates Well We'll Have Nave 12 Presidents By y FREDERICK C. C OTHMAN CHICAGO The CHICAGO The Democratic national convention opened yesterday yesterday yesterday yes yes- and all the Democrats Ive I've met so far have demanded demand demand- ed to k know n now o w I how I fared x with my gifts for the t two w o nieces in St. St Louis This proves that D De e m o o- o in g gen general e nera n- n v era eral 1 are human human human hu hu- man folks and Mr Othman also adv ady that thal they read my piece in the paper Well Vell sir as asfar asfar I far as Evelyn a age e 6 and Judy a age c 13 are concerned I am a areat great reat and good uncle and also a genius Evelyns Evelyn's doll that walks down the street with her is the sensation sensation sensation sen sen- of the neighborhood My l feels departed and advised King John to establish his new residence as far as IS possible from the thc mad m ld men mn of Gotham As to Tenderloin it is said that before the turn of the century the thc old precinct of New York City was a district district district dis dis- dis- dis very much on the seamy side It offered rich opportunities opportunities opportunities to officers who were not above accepting bribes from leaders of vice rings One captain on being notified noti noli- fied lied of his transfer to the I precinct said exultingly Well Nell boys until now Ive I've been eating eating eat eat- in ing chuck steak From now no noon on onit's onit's onit's its it's the tenderloin for or me smallest niece nicer in fact spends so much tIme exercising her doll doH that she's sleeping better than ever before On account of oC all that fresh air The gold wrist watch that actually keeps time like her mothers mother's made a similar hit with her elder sister At first Judy thought this small ticker on the black ribbon bracelet was a toy When finally it dawned on her that this was the genuine 17 jewel article she wept even as she smiled Tears Too Then I caught the fly flying n machine machine machine ma ma- chine for Chicago and there were te tears in the eyes of oC both my youngest relatives This bucked me up and Inri ever since Ive I've felt like a Democratic hopeful hopeful hopeful hope hope- ful who knows hes he's got the nomina nomination lion in the bag That makes me one up on the candidates There are an even dozen of these gents with and without campaign headquarters and as the proceedings begin in Chicago's air air condi condi- condi cow palace they're all talking big l' l I Ive I've e been listening to them the thc last couple of days and if they're telling the truth then we t taxpayers may have to build a new win wing on the White WhiteHouse House Vote Democratic in November November November No No- vember and well we'll have 12 presidents presidents presidents dents a dozen first ladies and no telling how many concert sopranos A lady ady in Estes Kefauver's place tried to present me with witha a coonskin cap two Ninety in inthe inthe inthe the shade too and she wondered wondered wondered won won- dered why hy I made like a racoon on a hurr hurry p. p Kerrs Kerr's Cabin On the mezzanine of the Con Con- rad-Hilton rad Hotel I found myself in a lo log cabin being heing erected under the crystal chandeliers This symbolized the humble beginnings of oC the millionaire- millionaire oilman candidate Sen Robert S. S Kerr I ate some of the boiled shrimp of Sen Dick Russell the southerner with national ideas and I can report no better better bet bet- ter eating this side of Georgia As for the senators senator's chances nobody knows except for his own boys and they're not reli reli- able Too doggoned optimistic Honest Ave Harriman I somehow somehow somehow some some- how have not blot yet met lIes He's making a TV rv speech outside the pressroom door even as I write this The loudspeakers are roaring roaring roaring roar roar- ing his words but I understand that in the flesh h hes he's really a spoken soft-spoken gentleman Then theres there's the Veep Barkley Seems to me hes he's showing every one of his 74 years but he insists hes he's in the I pink The other candidates dark horses and fateful whisperers whisperers whis whis- are Ire here too My l only prediction is that this should I Ibe be a tumultuous week weck i Evelyn figured that thIt too Said shed she'd come with me to Chicago I except that those Democrats I might break her doll doH They I probably would baby bIby but not noton noton noton on purpose e. e Without badges on their chests they're nice people I and in general gentle |