Show rl f itching Hefting Horseshoes j Chief White hite River Urn Make Heap Big Squaw Exchange l Billy Rosee Rose By y he fl-he other midnight at Lindy's The e 2 when remember when ember ses- ses got t into a r rem lion with Will Morrissey the happY happY- happy happy- g lucky go-lucky o lucky who roan man m helped me p put ton on i Exposition J Jj th the e il Ji j Fort F 0 r t Worth dry I na f Ib back c k in iy 1936 o Mound ground the third cup of coffee I Happened to to mention a tribe o of f Indians we used d for atmosphere atmos- atmos phere herc in t this his cou c sized sized car- car Billy Rose Si and when I did a wait wait till tillit till till- this hear it this hear look came into Morys Mory's Mor- Mor Kerry-blue Kerry eyes ys y's Big Chief White River was in ine ina he her months e me a few ago aid r Come again rr j White hite River repeated Will You ought to remember him him him-as as stunt he once made you youit p ress ah it honorary member of his tribe and ind nd dubbed you ou L Little i t t tie 1 e Red Flower fI f Tre got him now I said but butt t before tore you ou start on this tall tale will trill you take the stand and swear t nothing but the truth 0 If Mor t u urn r n e d on the grin tJi that's ts t's charmed hundreds of thou- thou ii sout out of play Have you u ever er known me to fabricate a yarn yarn 1 1 he asked f Only the American Woolen Co has a better record I said Now Wh what's ts t's with White River Hardly Knew Himell Him f f. Well ell I hardly recognized the Chief when he walked into my office office office of of- fice Will began In sixty-buck sixty blue Serge erge and a round high-and-round haircut he was as picturesque as asi i floorwalker at Macys Macy's and when I asked him what he was doing so far fir from ft-from from the deer and antelope b he lle told me he was in New Kew York ng for notions to improve living liv liv- lag ing conditions on his reservation r. r According to the Chief a big mining outfit had located copper oa on their lands and currently most Of f the braves had union cards and were Were working in the mines for fancy pay The tribe had elected tim Nm m mayor he was anxious to toi raise i their standard of living Jiving and andt t r openers he wanted to introduce introduce introduce intro intro- duce a healthier diet something diet something besides corn meal corn bread and I coin m I corn on the cob Ei aSsume assume you solved White WhiteRiver's WhiteRiver's Rivers River's problem I said LAs As a matter of fact I did get It notion said Morrissey I HI suggested sugg suggested sug sug- g stef to the Chief that he pick out six of the most likely gals in his tribe and send them to one of he the better cooking schools in New NewYork NewYork York Turk I I 1 get It I said A lOA Morrissey Morrissey Morris Morris- sey sey version of Home on the I lige r r Open discussion will be held after ter the lecture said the show show- man To continue the Chief and andI I looked under Cooking Schools' Schools In the classified directory and settled settled set set- ed on the Ecole run by i ii Ma Madame dam e in the East Interesting story I heckled ut it needs a little action I bl Action Followed The he action came a couple of months n later said Morrissey when hen a fattish female walked into my office and hit me over the head with an umbrella When I calmed her down she told me she was Madame and blamed me for disrupting her school not to mention her life The Thc six young squaws squaws it appears had arrived in New York on schedule but in instead instead instead in- in stead of buckling down and learning learning learning learn learn- ing about pots and pans all they cared about were d dates a ate t e s sand and daiquiris They had flirted made koo with the male malc students and to hear the Madame tell it she had finally given them di diplomas diplomas diplomas di- di to get rid of The lady had a legitimate beef I said although it hardly rated an umbrella over the head Theres more to the story said Will Vilt When White River learned that his squaws couldn't even hard- hard boil an egg he recalled an old Apache saying saying If If you like the dish marry the cook So he hopped a plane to New York and invited the Madame to share his marble teepee in Arizona What was the old gal so mad about I asked As I remember remember ber the Chief he wasn't a bad- bad I looking fellow When I asked the roast pot-roast pedagogue the same question said Morrissey she informed me that she already had a husband in reasonably good condition and wasn't interested in bigamy Did she tell you how the Chief took this news She did said Will Vill and it explains explains explains ex ex- ex- ex plains the rain-catcher rain over the noggin When the wily redskin learned she was married he called on Monsieur V and offered to swap him the six Indian squaws for his wife And what made the Madame I Iso so sore was that her husband immediately immediately immediately im im- mediately accepted the proposition proposition proposition tion Look me in the eye I said to Morrissey and take an oath you didn't dig the whole story up out in deep left field I I swear it on Baron Munchausen's Munchausen's I sens sen's grave smiled the showman I as he up-ended up the sugar bowl into his fourth cup of coffee I I Ii i |