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Show If rhmiiiipr F PEAS, WEEVILS AND APHIDS Ima Dodo is hysterical with fear. We never saw her so upset, nervous and apprehensive. "How can I get out of this? Do you know any influential politicians? Would a letter to the President do any good? Would I be tried by jury? Oh dear, oh dear!" she babbled bab-bled on. "Now look," we began . . . "I just didn't knowl I mean it was just an oversight Should I maybe get a lawyer?" We clapped a hand over her big mouth and shoved her into the nearest near-est chair. "What's this all about?" we demanded. "It could be two years and $10,000 even." she cried. "What have you done, robbed a bank, set fire to the orphan asylum, talked back to an OPA scout or been found in an auto while in motion? Speak!" "I was just spraying," she bawled. "What were you spraying?" "Peas," she sobbed. "And beans." "You're supposed to spray peas and beans. Stop shivering. It's legal." "But I wasn't spraying the peas against pea weevil or pea aphid," she cried. "I was spraying them for other bugs." "What of it?" "And that isn't all. I'm not sure I was spraying the beans against Mexican bean beetle. It's too, too terrible. They'll be after me any minute. Phone a lawyer, please!" "Who cares what you were spraying spray-ing a pea or bean for? It makes ' no difference." "Oh, but it does," sobbed Ima. "There's a federal regulation as amended January 23, 1943, Section 1189, I. Look! It's right here on the spray label . . ." Ima showed the label It read as follows: The use of this spray Is restricted restrict-ed by WPB's Conservation Order Or-der M-133, as amended Jan. 23, 1943, to the following uses: 1. Peas. Against the weevil and aphid. 2. Beans. Against Mexican bean beetle. 3. Cole crops, other than cabbage. cab-bage. Against caterpillars and aphlds. "See!" sobbed Ima, as we finished reading. "It's all so clear." "Woman," we said severely. "Do you mean you used a spray without being positive what you were spraying?" spray-ing?" "I'm sure I hit a caterpillar instead in-stead of weevils and aphids on the peas," she wept. "And I have a feeling I sprayed aphids on the broccoli. Heaven knows what was on the beans!" This was too much. There was nothing to do but consult counsel and give herself up. We so advised, hoping for the best. Maybe she can prove it was an accident. AXIS PRISONER SONG A little trip, a little camp, A little work, some chance for smiling; A little rest, a little hope, A little peace . . . and no more beiling! e nun! Mr. Morgenthau says that by the end of the year the average family should be putting 25 per cent of its income in War Bonds. It is Howard Smith who cheers the idea but points out some difficulties. Twenty per cent of the income is deducted for new income tax; the cost of living is up 20 per cent, and a man is supposed sup-posed to give 15 per cent to various charities, city funds, Red Cross drives, etc. This totals 80 per cent. "That leaves 20 per cent for rent, food, clothing, transportation, fuel, light, doctors, hospitals, medicines, education, state taxes, entertainment entertain-ment and maybe cigarettes," says Mr. Smith, exclaiming "Who dat man!" e IDEA OF HOLLYWOOD Out there the men wear dinner coats, Ail conversation's witty; The sea holds naught but pleasure boats, And every woman's pretty. In Hollywood, yes, life is gay, To all the world I say it. At least I guess that it's that way, , For that's how films portray it. DEFINITION A LA WASHINGTON Effective Teamwork Trying to operate a six-horse hitch with the horse-collar on the driver, the whif-fletree whif-fletree where the wagonstep should be, and with a horn replacing the reins. An all-time high for defeats Is be-dens80' be-dens80' Ed many Vlctory ar e Can You Remember Away back when all you worried "out in summer was whether S? WUld Set 10 0,6 whlte-flanl OBSERVATION I always can Detect the man Who aimed to get A week-end tan. He sports instead A lobster-red . . That is if he Can leave his bed! |