Show BUNKER Amateur Confidence Man Klan ManBy Ii By ELLIS PARKER BUTLER Author of Pigs Is Pigs c c I 3 Tapping Tapping the Air J. us by br the tha S Pre s 6 Corporation I a a. week Grandpa Jabez Bunker had done no business busi bust business bustI bustness ness whatever But dear dearold dearold I lunker old Grandma Bunker did not complain hunker inker ker having himself been f R oot f gold-brick gold sellers sellers and ands andis is s of confidence men had hadI I ew w York to enter the cone conne con- con ne e on his own account so been fairly successful iny in iny y but his ambition was for rids Ids If he be had dared he hee heo e o gone at once to Wall WallI re e the guileless New York- York i but but because of ot his inex- inex M had decided to approach I gradually working south south- lew streets at a time and skill and dexterity in his profession of bunco Grandma Bunker who worshipped her husband If Tear fear ear old ladies can love and agreed to the plan with that her Jabez could and no wrong and now after Important adventures they in a sized good-sized room on ii tear ir of an inexpensive boarde board- board e A on West seventh Fifty-seventh I Sunday morning Dear old I Bunker who had remained tag ing ig room after breakfast to toyUa with yUa h Mrs Wimmer who was iI of the prune dispensary her room with a beaming t ce e. e fee the said affectionately you at bunco business II 11 ye 7 day No said Wier r feeling with his stock- stock Jt Eor or his red slippers which Mowed lowed to slide from his feet I t o 0 much trouble for you an all Ma I how M mIght light go to chuch church The ply ly ly no thin I wouldn't do to tod id d oWn this wire tappin I. I a few minutes Seems like make head nor nor- tall tail of like a man bunco-man that Iba work a a. wire tappin game have such an fired all lc lot lotan t tan fan an such an fired all all lot pf the the aint apt aPt to tob to b be no It I been an book book Bunker put her soft hand his hia shoulder I a there now Pa she tad walked to church P Mrs Wimmer in her best bestol ol iNk t and by the thin and yel- yel Miss Druse whose bl room windows always had Smashed washed handkerchief pinned de cord card to dry Mr ander and er er looked what they were couple recently om a country town They church as friendly as Mrs had suggested Because ot of otI I weather the doors and inner stood wide de open and the tha being early were standing in order to catch a dig zephyrs these those ushers a tall slender in a black frock coat ca came cameille camelie e elIe lIe ille and an extended hand s. s Wimmer and Miss Druse Mr Bunkers Bunker's hand with a abut abut abut but rather bony ony clasp tad d Mrs Bunker Bunker Mr immer Wimmer dulling the gentlee gentle- gentle sounded like me e so that It might have been anything although a though for several years yean man had escorted her to achurch a a. achurch achurch church church she sho had bad never been beene e of his name Mr Bunker Dunker around around and settled himself his two feet teet as if he was ry ry to enter the church 6 a hot day aint id id You got a a. right fine I we re re Mr Taint much t Chuch Chueh out at t r Bunker laid her hand band on onier's mers mer's arm ht's well go Inside she said to talk business to th the 4 I guess said Mr kIndly No there is none ranch anch of or the family in the i none nono in Iowa No no nol No I great Feat 11 State said Mr Bunk Bunk- I I I bad none of ot ye ever went great reat wheat State Isn't it I I I II I ts t's said Mr Mr corn Not but what wheat My cousin James- James anker out out at Colfax dont don't Jn n but wheat I reckon uen James lck stepped forward to wel wel- I face and not until he returned from the interior of the church was he able to hear more about Mr Bunkers Bunker's cousin James The conversation was interesting to both Mr and Mr Bunker Mr seemed to know as much about the European war and the effect of it on stocks and bonds as Mr Bunker knew about wheat and he was even more eager after he had found that Mr Bunker was a good listener t to talk tolt He Ke most earnestly advised Mr Bunker to tell his cousin James not to sell any wheat he might happen happen happen hap hap- pen to own With the assurance of ot th the talkative man who knows nothing but his own business thoroughly he ha explained the European situation in a manner that would have surprised His Excellency Woodrow Wilson As Asto Asto Asto to the future of the war he did not predict predict predict-he he stated positively what would happen He had inside information information information mation he knew a man who knew a aman aman aman man who had Just returned from two weeks in London and he ho knew another in- in other man who received letters from froman an aunt in Hamburg There was no doubt that Mr knew all about the war and its outcome and its effect on stocks bonds wheat corn horses industry commerce and the world Mr Bunker was an earnest listener When the congregation began to arrive arrive arrive ar ar- ar- ar rive in numbers Mr left him to attend to his duties and when the church was filled and the organ echoed and only late arrivals dribbled up to the church Mr Prel Prel- lick came to Mr Bunker again and the two men seated themselves on the steps And that's where the war is being fought continued Mr in his I most convincing tone it is s being I fought in the grain fields and in the I money markets Wheat and cash those are the two weapons that coun count Cash to turn into wheat and wheat to turn into men Now you take this country country Yes I was Just goin a to ask you i about that said Mr Bunker Robbing itself to feed Europe said Mr Now how many bushels of wheat does this country produce All right it dont don't matter It produces pro pro- produces pro duces It it dont don't it Now suppose the Germans blow up another ship ship say say sayan an American ship ship say say y a ship like the the biggest ship that flies files s the Stars and and Stripes Or say the English do it What then War We Weare Weare Weare are in the war ourselves And then what Y You Tou i know know where our soldiers would have to come from from all all the city men making ammunition The farm farm- mers would have to be the soldiers wouldn't they Of course And then what about wheat Wheat would be worth two dollars three dollars five dollars a bushel The minute news comes that a a. ship like the Amatori Ama- Ama toria tori a w was s blown up five dollar five dollar wheat Yes sir Ive I've studied this and I KNOW Mr Bunker gazed at Mr with wilh wonder at his wisdom and then he turned away and his blue eyes sparkled He smiled so hard that he had to run his hand over his face to erase the smile before he looked at Mr again If a a. man could just know five minutes minutes minutes min min- utes in advance of the newspapers when a ship like the tho was sunk and war inevitable for this country country country coun coun- try said Mr he could make more money in that five minutes than thanin thanin thanin in all his life me Mr Bunker passed his his' hand across his face tace again ever study tudY up about this here wireless he asked ashen I No Why said Mr Bunker Bunk jr hastily Only Only I I been sort of lookIn lookIn lookin look- look In into it it It seems like its it's quite some business with war-time war an an all Thought maybe I might take it up as asa asa asa a sort o 0 amusement Mr having pretty well talked himself out arose It was nearIng nearing nearing near- near ing the time when he must pass the collection basket and he entered the church and left Mr Bunker Dunker When I I I I I I the organ pealed the recessional Mr Bunker Dunker arose and waited for Grandma Grand Grand- ma Bunker Dunker He lie spoke half hal to her and half to Mrs Wimmer said an I I been he be reckon Ma wed we'd better hire off Mrs WImmer that there hall bedroom next to our room With this here bere hot weather an extra window to leave leavo open would give us a better circulation circulation tion of air and us farm folks aint used to be bein In shet abet in so BO much as these city folks Jabez asked Mrs Bunker when they had dropped behind the more rapid footed Mrs Wimmer and Miss with Druse was you ou doin damn business Mr Jr Not Ma said Mr Bunker I 1 might hev hey but It didn't seem quite right to bunk a feller on the tho Sabbath Not but what I could ho he added not sot liking to have havo any tingo of deceit in his statements I listened to himIn him himIn himIn In a sort of or way that might lead up to I business tore fore Im I'm done dono with him Ma Afa what you think of that yeller haired feller that sets at our table at the house Mr von Goltz Hes He's a right nice young man Jabez So spoken kind-spoken to everybody You aint ever thought about him maybe bein hem a aspy spy hev hey ye Ma Him Jabez Law sakes he aint no nomore nomore nomore more a spy than I be cried Mrs Bunker as she recalled the honest open countenance of Mr von Goltz He aint a spy Jabez hes he's clerk to the corner grocery Hum said Mr Bunker So he hebe hebe be be Ma so he be bel Well dont you worry about it none He aint on us whoever hes he's on I reckon reck reck- on Its It's its none of our business whether To Mrs Wimmers Wimmer's eager queries I Mr Bunker Dunker answered by reading a a. page pae out of a weekly periodical that told of or the operations of German spies In twenty four hours Miss Druse and all all the other boarders knew that Mr von Goltz was a spy and were telling tellIng telling tell tell- ing each other suspicious s circumstances ces they had noted regarding him And now to complete his work of or making Mr von Goltz one of ot the Kaisers Kaiser's eyes Mr hunker Bunker did som something something some some- thing that was decidedly ble blo He coiled colled a yard or so of wire around one of the small wireless en enunciators un and carried it to Mr von Goltz's s 's room where von Goltz would never be likely to discover it but Mrs Wimmers Wimmer's upstairs girl would be be sure to With that pleasure with which a man hears a mousetrap snap a few minutes after he has set and I baited It Mr Bunker saw Mrs Simmers Wlm- Wlm Wimmers Wimmer's mers mer's upstairs mala maid enter the room with broom pall and dustpan dustpan and and and anda a few minutes later hurry d down the wImmer fn n ref ii ur KI n. ni herself They had discovered the wireless apparatus with which Mr von Goltz sent the secrets he learned in the corner grocery hurtling through the thousands of miles to the Kaisers Kaiser's eagerly waiting ear The next Sunday Mr Bunker his guileless face beaming good will shook hands hands again with Mr on on the porch of the church If taint too much bother said Mr Bunker Dunker Id like to ask your opinion about a matter that's come to my knowledge and that I aint big enough to know what to do abc about ut If a manlike man manlike manlike like me for instance of aGerman a aGerman aGerman German spy spy Mr was in Instantly alert 1 I l lI I Ii I i A a p po o J D. D o S 0 r n- n I The The minute news came cams that a ship was blown up up five dollar five dollar dollar wheat Yes sir sir Ive I've studied this and I KNOW hes he's a spy or not It was Wednesday Mrs Wimmer Wimmer Wimmer Wim Wim- mer chanced to hear Mr Air Mr Bunker mention mention mention men men- tion her inoffensive boarder as that German sp spy spa feller but with a boarding boarding boarding board board- ing house keepers keeper's keen interest in all that pertains to mystery when connected connected con con- with her boarders she Immediately Immediately immediately Imme imme- pressed Mr Bunker to explain what he meant Mr Mi Bunker Dunker had been busy indeed during the early part of the week Monday he had strolled about the street near his place of residence until until un un- til he had run upon an electrical shop that had in its window what he sought I one of the cheap wireless sending and receiving outfits designed for children's childrens chit chil drens dren's use and two of these he bought I Chil-I the price being a mere bagatelle The clerk explained patiently and over I and over again the method of using the apparatus and finally in desperation despera despera- tion he made Mr Bunker Dunker buy a book of instructions All Monday evening and all day Tuesday Mr Bunker pored over the book with the apparatus apparatus apparatus atus before him on the table in his room while Grandma Bunker Dunker cro crocheted dro- dro ro- ro placidly What the wireless apparatus was she had no idea beyond beyond be be- yond what Mr lr Bunker had told her her her- that it was bunco stuff he placed a hand on Mr Bunkers Bunker's arm Just a few minutes he urged As soon as I have the congregation seated seated seat seat- ed Ill I'll be with you Seated as before Mr Pr lis list listened listened to Mr Bunkers Bunker's suspicions with the deepest interest Does Mm Mrs Wimmer know this asked aked Mr finally I dont don't know if she does said Mr Bunker and and andI I dont don't know if she dont don't Maybe wed we'd better not say noth noth- in to her herIt herIt herIt her It is our duty said Mr That Mr Bunker Dunker should be our first step Think of this lone widow with witha a spy in her house and then think think He did not say what to think next for the organ pealed the exit pIe piece e and the congregation began to leave the church Mr Bunker quickly assured assured assured as as- Mr that whatever that gentleman decided would undoubtedly be the ri right right t thing and nd when Mrs Wimmer Miss Druse and Mrs Bunker Bunk Bunk- er came out of the church Mr 1 Prel Prel- lick dropped into step with the tho boarding boarding boarding board board- ing house keeper and led up to the the subject of or the German spies so cautiously cautiously cautiously cau cau- that they were at the door of ot the boarding house house when he arrived at the point of or asking if she was aware that one of her boarders was a German German German Ger Ger- man spy Spy- py So prompt was Mrs Wimmer's Wimmers VIm Wim VImmer's Vimmer's mers mer's affirmative and eb so eager her desire to go deeper deepe Into the subject that she asked Mr to step Inside and share the humble Sunday of or which there being chicken chick chick- en she was v very ry proud and after dinner the five five Grandpa Grandpa and Grandma Grand Grand- ma Bunker Miss Druse Mrs Wlm Wlm- m mer mpr r and Mr MT adjourned adjourned to Mrs Sirs Wimmers Wimmer's back parlor to discuss the spying of Mr von Goltz You can cn easily Imagine the surprise of f dear old Grandpa Bunker when Sirs Mrs Wimmer told ot of finding the concealed concealed con con- wireless apparatus in the room of or r Mr von Goltz He lie walked to the corner corner with Mr when that gentleman de do- parted I told you I was a In n this wireless business he saidI saidI said I recall you mentioned It It said Mr Ah I understand You'll listen at his door door Ill tap his wireless wire said Mr Ir Bunker triumphantly Ill hook onto him somehow an listen to what wha comes to him by wireless and Ill I'll write to the President at I Ium yum to goodness I will I I 1 He hesitated I aint ever been much of a a. hand hang at to folks like the President always alway he said doubtfully Most when I had an important letter td to write the cashier of the Bank writ it for me I wonder isay if if- if t this this this' L say if I find out the on goins feller has over his wireless could you yol write to the President for me Mr swelled importantly I could and I would he exclaimed and shaking Mr Bunkers Bunker's hand warmly warmly warmly warm warm- ly he strode down the street composIng composing compos compos- Ing big the opening of the letter he would write Two days later Tuesday later Tuesday evening to be exact exact Mr Bunker sought ou out Mr Mr was d a bachelor and his income was sufficient to permit him to support a a. handsome handsome hand hand- handsome some suite of bachelor apartments on or Riverside Drive He welcomed Mr Bunker who stared at the |