Show I YOUR SUNDAY MORNING LAUGH I I BUGS B BAER AJ Al G GAME GAME- A ME The Army Football Sharks Finned In at the Opening Opening Chorus I an and G Gulped ped th the Navy at One Gulp Bones and All a and the of the Sharks Was a Fish Named Oliphant By BUGS BAER EW YORK TORK Dec 9 W 9 When When en a of sharks go after a meal they dont don't NEW N wait ait for knives and forks They dont don't e even en yodel for tor a menu Anything they lamp is their menu And they dont don't squawk for spoons A shark sharle I tears right in after his biscuits and eats with his fingers Which h is easil easily the way in Wh which ch West Vest Point took Annapolis The Cadets had the Middies in their pocket before the Middies knew they had been bit The Army football sharks fi finned ned in at atthe the opening chorus and gulped the me Navy flavy r avy at one gulp bones and all Then thc they wiped their chins chins chinson on the back of their h hands and went home Arm Army had the appetite and Navy paid the check Ana And the sh rk est est- of the sharks was was' wasa a a. fish named Oliphant He took a nib nib- blo bio at the t first b ball ll pitched and before he he- was harpooned his hs dorsal fin had cleaved the field for seven eighty-seven yards and the game was over before it started All of which eradicated the r romance mance from the tho tournament for tor the marine folks The only difference between Oliphant and arid a one man orchestra is s that nob nobody nobody no no- b body dy ever plays plays' second fiddle in a one man orchestra And quite a herd of gents were playing second fiddle S This Oliphant lad is built on the same delicate lines as a B. B and O. O box box- car He is as fragile as a stevedore has a waist line like a safe Bate about as much neck as a boss drum anti and is harder to stop than a habit Even a Pinkerton Pinkerton Pinker Pinker- ton detective would suspect that Oliphant was some sonic football pl player yer And Elmer I verified the time easily eMily He galloped aroun around like a perplexed rabbit Sometimes Some Some- t times imes he impersonated d an art ant on op a hot o i-o rock k The rhe Navy tacklers couldn't de decipher decipher de- de I de-I cipher him at all He lie might as well have been hieroglyphics Oliphants Oliphant's style of broken field running is the best since Eliza crossed the i ice ce a jump ahead of of's f a a fit and two bloodhounds His ankle technique is is rather bizarre Something like w waltzing to foxtrot m music sic But he keeps on going which is all that can be expected of a football pJ player yer or a dollar watch And after he he- pulled a a few stunts of ankle legerdemain the Navy stands were about as noisy as a turtle Any football coach would like to have a white Oliphant on his mitts As far as the time game Itself was as concerned there were a lot of influential people peo peo- pIe in the stands Everybody hitting bittIng or over in the American edition of the Almanac de Gotha was as th there re and every thermos bottle didn't contain coffee They sa say that one swallow doesn't make malte a summer Bummer b but t It helps in winter and the da day was almost as raw as an umpires umpire's decision looks hooks to a home fan It was the usual football game all the traffic regulations being by both teams Knuckles s were parked on chins with charming channing Ears were grabbed like subway straps straps' on art a curve It was about as formal as a fishIng fishing fish- fish fishIng Ing trip Oliphant was the works and when he graduates the ocean wont won't get any deeper froth from tears tars shed by Uncle Sams Sam's ocean clerks The Annapolis pitchers were instructed t to keep the ball ban away from Ollie with men on base b but t somebody pulled the wrong lever le The game is Just as much history now as Mr Ir Hughes' Hughes telegram arid and we ve c can can n hardly wait to see De- De dember's embers magazines T Then en we we can find out what brand brand ot of cigarette smokes on his end runs and what safety razor he kicks his field goals with It was a cold day and now that Its It's over everybody Is s glad that they were there President Wilson wired at the last minute ute that he was able to be absent Woody Was vas too busy too r. ar-r. arrive e. He hasn't sent nt that that congratulatory tory telegram to Hughes yet The New Haven i isn't nt the only road where whre t the e pull the wrong levers The bird who booted that first ball to Oliphant is about as popular poP as a worm in a chestnut S Fortunately Il Its It's winter Otherwise the mi middies middies' i s' s entire s 's summer would have be bEen n spoiled p Navy Nav- went nt D Democratic ocr tic in iu the last Jast haf hait but tl the biscuits had had been been en burned by them Like Lik the bird whose ala alarm clock sprung a te tendon don they woke up too late The amount of mileage consumed in iii a football game without the time Inhabitants arriving ing anywhere is tremendous Straightened out a a. football game would stretch from Kokomo to Korea I ITen Ten cops marched across the field between halves s. s Sec Daniels chaperoned em cnn very effectively They met ten more cops by Sec Baker They stood on their hind legs for the tue movie men and performed a few smiles Then the movie movie men asked for waivers on em NavY Naw never had a a. chance Army Aimy was dealin dealing all the time |