Show Your Baby And Mine Mie By MYRTLE MEYER ELDRED GRA GRANDPARENTS TS SHOULD PLAY PASSIVE ROLE When I broach the subject of oC grandparents grand parents parent I am forcibly reminded that the only ones I hear about are arc the thc meddlesome ones who cant can't keep their hands out of their childrens children's af af- af fairs The Te armies of ot dignified lovable lova lovable ble grandparents who make life le easier easier ens- ens ier for their children and grandchildren dren who love them and spoil them and nd flatter rater them arc are accepted as a natural natural nat ural and win no special praise But my mail mai is full of letters leters from dis distracted dLo dis- traded parents parent who have to unburden unburden unburden den themselves of the bitterness and ad dislike they feel for lor their own parents par ent or their in UNHAPPINESS One would think the only grandmothers grandmothers grand grand- mothers mother existing were vere those who cant can't be pleased no matter mater what their dau daughters or law daughters do who pooh pooh-pooh the thc newer ways o of feeding child hild care or discipline their only basis for sarcasm sarcas bei being they did not do de it that way themselves What satisfaction they get out of or their militant role of drum major in inthe inthe the he households of their children is i hard to discover I am convinced if i they knew the thc resentment the thc actual unhappiness they cause they would feel teel that the affection of their children children chi chil chil- dren was far Car more to be sought than the thc barren satisfaction of being boss bos If It I grandparents grandparent know as I do how often oHen mothers are arc driven to break their association with wih them and separate separate sep sep- sep arate the grandchildren from them tem they would decide it i was wa not worth orth the thc price prie METHODS JA lEAVE HAVE E ADVANCED I have leaflets called The Thc Problem lem hem of Relatives and as a corollary How low to Be a Good Father ather which will wi ill help mothers mother to see sec ee both bot sides of some of ot these problems and arid help the father to lo cooperate instead of op op- op op pose Any An reader may obtain them by sending ending a self sel addressed stamped envelope to this department and asking akin ask ak- ak in ing for them by name Mothers arc are often ofen to blame b because ause they resent reent all advice from grandparents grandparent It I pays them to see themselves c clearly arly and decide whether they are well wel within their rights right to name their platforms platforms plat plat- forms and stand firmly upon them I cannot applaud the te grandparent who decries everything because It i is is new and she didn't do it i. i One has hasto hasto hasto to remember that our present day national interest in child care and child management could not have grown to such enormous proportions had the methods of previous generations genera tons been above aboe reproach NO 0 INTERFERENCE The Thc Te children are arc the thc mothers mother's re reo It I is she who must gather knowledge try It i out out make mae her own mistakes and tr profit prom by them If I she carelessly relegates the children children chil chil- dren to the care cat of ot the grandparent she is in no position to criticise what the thc older person docs does But if i she is bearing her own burdens and doin doing the thc best she knows how she should be bo allowed to feed her children manage manage man man- age them and care for them without the interference or criticism o of anyone anyone any any- one whether friends or relatives Grandparents should resign themselves them themselves selves seles to a passive role As onlookers ers they may be deprived of some of or th the interest of thc the conflict that I they enjoyed as parents parent but they arc are likewise saved all al the tha unpleasantness Their later years should be dignified by attitudes of love and understanding understand understand- ing lag and tolerance not cheapened by petty battles battes over ocr the thc business of ot rearing children which is the duty and responsibility of thc the parents parent This does not mean that the wisdom wisdom wi wis wis- dom of ot the thc grandparents grandparent should never be at nt the disposal of their children far far from Irom it But Dul the unasked for advice advie and nd unwarranted criticism make life hard for lor young parents and andIn andin andin in the thc end result in i the death Of all al parents amiable relations with wih the grand grand- |