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Show f- 1WI'0 l,al JO 'ra'iRElNCi A SERIES OF CANNED IJTEBATUKE SELECTED FROM YT. B Ljg . j I I ti j ffUj Jlg I 4MONG TOE WORLD'S QUICKEST SELLERS, PUT UP IN SLICES pi H mJ 1 1 JLJ 1 iVm V JLJLCl IS FOR HUMMED REAPERS - - EDITED BY JOHN KEN&RICK BANS . H I . in H vE S" ' the that We see the most nr4rM ; $t&0y clearly that v?c perceive 'the rnprc irw cjuicluy, my dear Watson." 3 toyi thTl Copyright, 100S, by the New York Her-rou-S ; aid Co. All Rights Reserved. ""ji It was a dris7.lv morning in Novoin-bbr. Novoin-bbr. Holmes and I bad ."just arrived Tjg At BoBtou, where he was to' lecture that gWnight on "The Relation of Cigar -JjfiStumns to Crime" before tho Brown-Sraing Brown-Sraing club of tho Back Bnv, and he was plavfttlly indulging in sbnio deductivo i BpraViks at my expense. W "You are a doctor by profession, with j a slight leaning- toward literature," he y, observed, rolling up a small pill for his - i opium pipe and placing it in the bowl. ' ''You have just como on a long journey , over the ocean and have finished up ; with a five-hour trip on tho New York, if New Haven and Hartford railroad. You I were brushed off by a colored porter and rewarded him with a sixpence f taken from your right hand vest pocket before leaving the traiu, You caine .j from tho station in a cab, accompanied ' by a very handsome and famous Englishman: Eng-lishman: ate a lunch of baked beans S and brown bread, opening with a Mar- tini cocktail, and you are now wonder-flj wonder-flj ing which one of the Boston newspapers "ill pays tho highest rales for press no-'J no-'J tie'es." .'''Marvelous! Marvelous!" T cried, vi "How on earth do yon know all this?" for it was every bit of it true. "J? r. "It is the thing that wo see tho most f clearly that we perceive tho more .quickly, my dear Watson," ho replied, m with a. deprecatory gesture. To bo-i bo-i gin with, I know you arc a doctor be- . causo I have been a patient of '-ours for many years. That you have an in-' in-' clinntion toward literature is shown by "i 'the fact that tho nails on tho fingers ' of your right hand are broken off short 'f, by ' persistent banging on tho keys of Vj a typewriting machine, which you carrv "ft .with you wherever you go and with s which you keep mo awake every night, 'whether we aro at a hotol or traveling A ton a sleeping car. If this wero not. ' J lenotigh to prove it I can clinch tho fact ' by calling your attention to tho other 2Lfnct that 1" pay you a salary to writo SiMC up and can produce signed receipts VHP 11 demand." yrfc "Wonderful." said 1; "but how did wwJTyott know I had como on a long journey, Xrtnrtly by sea and partly by rail on a jjfrond which you specify 7" Ws "It is simplicity itself," returned p. Holmes wearily. "I crossed on tho IN1 steamer with you. As for tho railroad. 'A - the soot that still remains in 3-our cars r 1 1 1 'A PUAGMAHC ENIGMA a chapter ?mm FAILURES OF SHERLOCK HOLMES" 1ST A. SWAN WASONvM.D I; I and mottles your nose is identical with : that which decorates my own foaturcs. Having got mine on the Now Haven and Hartford, I deduco that .you got yours there also. As for the colored portor, they have only colored porters on thoso trains for the reason that they show the effects of dust and soot less than white porters would. That he brushed you off is shown by the streaks of gray "011 your whito vest where his brush left its marks. Over your vest pocket, is the mark of your thumb, showing that 3011 reached into that pocket for the onl bit of coin you possessed, a sixpence." "You are a marvel," I murmured. "And the cabi" "The top of your beaver hat is ruffed thqwrong way where you rubbed it on the curtain roller as you entered tho cab," said Holmes. "The handsome and famous Englishman who accompanied accom-panied you is obvious. I am he, and am. therefore, sure of my deduction." "But the lunch. Holmes, the lunch, with tho beans and the cocktail," I cried. "Can you dony them?" he demanded. de-manded. "No, I cannot." I replied, for to tell tho truth his statement of the items was absolutely correct. "But how, how. my dear fellow, ran you have deduced de-duced a beau? That's what stumps me." , Holmes laughed. "You aro not observant, my dea.r Watson." he said. "How could T help knowing when I paid the bill?" , In proof he tossed mo the luncheon' check, and there it was, itemized in full. "Aha!" I cried, "but how do you know that. 1 am wondering which one of tli 0 Boston papers pays the best rates for nrcss notices?" Ci j'hat," said he. "is mercbj a guess, my dear Watson. I don 't know it, but I "do know you. ' ' And this was the man they had said was losing his powers! At this moment there came a timid knock on our door. "A would-bo client." said Holmes. "The timidity of Mi is knock shows that ho ip not a. reporter. If it were tho chambermaid, knowing that there were gentlcnion in the room, she would have entored without knocking. Ho is a distinguished dis-tinguished man, also, who does not wish it known that he is calling, for if it wore otherwise ho would have been I "U-A (atinguidheiTiaii-vAo doej not wish it j fcbiown. that he i6 calling -aHanterd professor."' I announced on the telephone from the onice--a flarvard professor. 1 take" it, for no other kind of living creature in Boston would admit that there was anything any-thing ho did not know, and therefore no other kind of a Bostonian would seek my assistance, Como in." The door opened and a ra'thor distinguished distin-guished looking old gentleman carrying a suit case and an umbrella entered. "Good morning. professor." said Holmes, rising and holding out his right hand in genial fashion and taking his visitor's hat with his left. "How aro things out at Cambridge this morning?" ! "Marvelous!- Marvelous!" cjacu-i latod the visitor, infringing somowhat on my copyright, in fact taking tho very words -.out of my mouth. "How did you know I was a professor at Harvard?" "By the matriculation mark on your right forefinger, " said Holmes, "and also by the wa.v in which .vou carry .vour umbrella, which .you hold not as if it were a walking stick, but as if it wero a pointer with which you wero about to demonstrate something on a. chart, for the benefit of a number of football pla3'crs taking a four .years ' course in Life, at an institution of learning. Moreover. More-over. 3'our address- is pasted in .vour hat. which" 1 have just taken from vou and placed on tho table. You have como to mo for assistance, and .your entanglement entangle-ment is purel3' intellectual, not spiritual. You have not cominitcd a crime, nor arc vou tho victim of one T can tell that 'by looking at your eyes, which arc red, not with weeping, but from reading and writing. The tear ducts havo not been used for years. Hence I judge that you have written a book, and after having publishod it, you suddenly discover that .you don 't know what it. means 3'our- ;elf, and inasmuch as tho critics ovor 1 the country are beginning to ask 3011 1 to explain "it .vou are in a most embar-J rassing position. You must either keep I silent, which is a great trial to a college j professor, espeeialh- a Harvard professor, profes-sor, or vou must acknowledge that you cannot explain a dreadful alternative. In that bag vou have the original manuscript manu-script of tho book, which you desiro to leave with mo in order that I may read : it and if possible detect tho thought, tell 3'ou what it is, and thus rid you of 3our dilemma." . "Ypu are a wonderful man, Mx. Holmes." began our visitor, "but if vou will let me " "One moment, please, " said Holmes, c3oing tho other closely. "Let us de- f Nft f u "MummarOellulausr duce next, if possible, just who .you are. First let us admit that you are the author of a recentl.y published book which nobod.y understands. Now, what is that book? It cannot bo "Six Monthes, " hy Helenor Quinu, for you nre a gentleman, and no gentleman would nave written a book of that character. Moreover, everybody knows just what that book mean's. The book we are after is ono that cannot be understood un-derstood without the assistance of a master like myself. "Who writes such books? You niay safely assert that, the only books that nobody can understand these days aro written b.y one James Henry .James. So far so good. But. you are not Henry James, for Henry '.rames is now in London translating his former works into Esperanto. Now, a man cannot be in London and in Boston Bos-ton at one and tho same time. What is tho inevitable conclusion? You must bo some othor .Tames!" Tho hand of our visitor trembled slightly as tho marvelous deductive powers of Holmes unfolded themselves. "Mummarvollulous! ' ' he stammered. "Now. what James can you be if vou are not Ilenr.v?" said Holmes, "and what book havo .you written that defies the interpretation of the ordinary mind hitherto fed on tho classic output of Hall Caino, Laura Jean Libbe- and Ger- :rudo A;herton7 A search of the Bix eat sellers fails to reveal tho answer. Ihereforo tho work is not fiction. I 3o not recall seeing it on tho table of tho reading room down stairs, and it is not likely, thou, to bo statistical. It was not handed mo to read in tho barber bar-ber shop while having my hair cut and m' chin manicured, from which T deduco de-duco that it is not humor. It in likely, ' then, that it is a volume either of his- j tor3 or philosophy. Now, in this conb- , tr3' today people are too buny taking care of the large consignments of history his-tory in the making that come everv dav from Washington in tho form of newspaper news-paper dispatches to devote anv time to the history that was made in' tho past, and it is therefore not at all probable that you would go to the expense of publishing a book dealing with it. What, thon, must we conclude? To me it is clear that you aro therefore a man named Jamch who has written a book on philosophy which nobody understands un-derstands but yourself, anct oven 3ou "Say no more!" cried our visitor, rising and walking excitedly about the room. t "You are the most amazingly as- j tonislnng bit of stupef3ing dunifound-crnient dunifound-crnient that. T have ever stared at!" "Tn short," continued Holmes, pointing point-ing his finger sternly at the other, ".vou arc the man who wrote that airy trifle called 'Pragmatism! " " There was sileneo for a moment, and then the professor spoke up. "I do not understand it at all," ho said. "What, pragmatism?" asked Holmes with a chuckle. "No, 3"ou," returned the professor coldly. "Oh. it's ail simple enough." said Holmes. "You were pointed out to mo in the dining room at luncheon time 13' the head waiter, and. besides, your name is painted on the end of your suit case. How could vour identity escape me?" "Nevertheless," said the processor, with a puzzled look on his face, "granted "grant-ed that you could deduce all these things ! as to mv name, vocation and so on. i what could have given 3011 tho idea that 1 do not myself know what I meant when I wrote my book? Can 3011 explain ex-plain that?" "That, nu dear professor, is the simplest sim-plest of m.y" deductions," said Holmes. "I have read the book." Here the great man threw himself back in his chair and closed his e3es, and T. realizing that I was about to be a witness of a. memorable adventure, retired to an escritoire over by tho window to take down in shorthand what Holmes said. Tho professor, on the other hand, was walking nervously nervous-ly up and down the room. " "Well." said he. "even if you have read it, what does that prove?" "I will tell vou." said Holmes, going go-ing into one of his trances, "I read it first as a man should road a book, from first page to last, and when I got through I could not for the life of me detect 3o ur drift. A second reading in the same wa.v left me more mystified mysti-fied than before", so T decided to road it backward. Inverted it was somewhat clarified, but not convincing, so I tried to read it standing on 1113- head, skipping skip-ping alternate pages as I read forward, and taking in the omitted one3 on the return trip. The only result of this was a nervous headache. But m.y blood was up. I vowed to detect .your thought if it cost me my life. Removing the covers of tho book, I cut the pages up H into slips, eaoh the size of a playing card, pasted them upon four pack's ot '1 cards, shuffled them three times, cut 1 them twice, dealt them to three imag- H inary friends seated about a circular H tablo, and played an equally imaginary H game of muggins with them, at tho on'd of which I placed the four packs 0110 jH on top of the other, shuffled thorn twice again, and sat down to read the pages jH in the resulting sequence. Still the meaning of pragmatism eluded mo." There was a prolonged pause, inter-rupted inter-rupted only b.y the heavj breathing- of jH the urofessor. jH "Go on," he said hoarsely. Il "Well," said Holmes, "as a last re- sort I sent tho book to a young friend Sl of in in 0 who runs a printing shop and' jjH had him set the whole thing in type, jH which I afterward pied, sweeping up lH the remains in a barrel and then draw- iH ing them out letter b.y letter, arranging jjH them in the order in which thov came. iH Of tho Tcsull I drew -galle.v proofs, and would 3on believe it, Professor, when I again proceeded to read your words IH the thing meant oven lo?s than it. did jl before. From all of which I. deduco that you did not know what pragmatism ll was, for if .you had known tho chances. aro you would havo told us- Eh?" I "awaited tho answer, looking out ot the window, for tho demolition of. an- other man is not a pleasant thing to jH witness, even though it involves a tri- urtiph for one of our most respected and profitable heroes. Strange to sa.y the jH answer did not come, and on turning to sec the reason why T observed to ni3' astonishment that Holmes and I were alone, and. what was worse, our visitor had vanished with both our suit cases I and U13' overcoat as well. Holmes, opening his ejcs at tho same moment, took in tho situation as soon as I did and sprang immediately to tho 'phone, but oven as bo took down the receiver tho instrument rang of itself. "Hello," said ho, impatiently. "Is this Mr. Holmes?" came a voiceJ jH "Yes." replied tho detective, irrit-j abl.y. "Hurry up and get off tho wire.l H I want to call the police. I'vo boon! 'H robbed." "Yes, T know." said the voice. "I'm: IhI tho thief, Mr. Holmes. I wanted to tell) 11 you not to worry. Your stuff wilL bo. returned to 3011 as soon as wo havo had it photographed for the illustration of1, jH an article in tonight's Boston Gazoozle. iH It will bo on tho newsstands in about- iH an hour. Better read; it's a corker; and much obliged to 3ou for tho ma- iH torial." M "Well, I'll be blanked!" cried, Holmes, tho Jphone receiver dropping jH from his nerveless fingers. "I fearJ mv dear Watson, that, in the language! of this abominable county, I'vo been stung!" 11 Two hours later the streets of Boston, woro ringing with the cries of newsboys jH selling copies of tho five o'clock, extra of the Evening Gnzoozle. containing v most offensive article, with tho follow ing headlines: BO DETECTIVES DETECT J nH A Gazoozlo Reporter. Disguised as jH Harvard Professor, Calls on Sherlock Holmes. Esq. , And Gets Away with Two Suit Cased Full of tho Great Detective's Personal Effects. Whilo . Dr. Watson's Hero , Tells What He Does Not Know AbpnU. i PRAGMATISM. |
