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Show f Art of Conversation a Lively One Friendly argument can enrich a conversation; you don't have to agree meekly with everything that's said, just to be rated a pleasant talker. An article in a recent Reader's Digest points out that you can "learn to disagree without being disagreeable." It's all in how you phrase your objections. Avoid flat contradictions. Ben Franklin did it this way: "On this point, I agree. But on the other, if you don't mind, may I take exception ?" Some other points made in the articles are: Listen attentively. Many concentrate so hard on what they plan to say that they don't hear the other fellow. If you listen actively to other people, they will pay closer attention to you. ' : Talk about what interests the other person. Encourage him to talk about his pet projects, and you'll never have an awkward silence. V I , Avoid dull details. What difference does it make if the incident happened on Wednesday instead of Thursday, and how you remember it. Speak precisely. Avoid jumping from one topic to another. Your listeners get lost and give up. Ask the right questions. "What's new?" is meaningless. But a question showing real interest is flattering to the other person, and also can prevent you from talking too much. Avoid interrupting. If you must break in, do it gracefully. The person you interrupt will listen more attentively if you use his name: "John, may I add something to what you just said?" Try to be tolerant and tactful. If the speaker irritates you, try to concentrate on the facts, not the personality. Finally, a little praise helps. But be specific. Don't tell the PTA speaker just that you enjoyed the talk. Comment on something some-thing he said, showing you really listened. |