| Show ALAS FOR THE THEP PASS ASS FIENDS THE NEW LAW LA V HAS GOT EM EMt L t Workings of Railroad Rate Bill Bring Woe Wo to Many n Tells of 0 Experiences It certainly will make maIm a big biff change in affairs migratory said the railroad man manas manns manas as ns he looked over the rejected applications applications for passes already alread piled plied high on his desk There will be considerable lESS travel for the hard to suit sult and con considerable consIderable considerable more peace for the railroad man You see theres a big bunch of people who feel that railroads owe them if not a living at least a change They r WIN U L I The Legislator and His Tribe spend a good part of the time at home planning how they can beat the railroad out of transportation from that home to another place and at the same time make a living In the new place as cheap as it would be at home Why Yh not long ago a train pulled out on our road with passes on it Do you think all those people were entitled to them No indeed and now by the terms of the Hepburn act they dont get them and were wre all thankful Of course the exceptions to the rule I Iare are arc ar numerous some of us may think too j numerous ranging all the way from min nun ministers ministers of the gospel to waifs and home homeless homeless less people but there will be more out than in on the proposition Take the migratory station agents for instance They rhey would seem to be in on it But Their cases hereafter will be handled en entirely entirely entirely by the general board It has been i ithe i the custom among them to obtain a po position position as station agent remain in it for thirty days clays and then leave for a new newfield field obtaining of course coume the necessary transportation Now all this will be done away awa with the matter going through the hands bands han s of the general officials Legislators Are Arc Hit 4 But the man that gets the Ule h hit will be the legislator who has been accustomed to ti demand free tickets for himself and his family No longer may maj ma mahe he make little junketing trips around the whole country accompanied by his wife three sons sans and seven daughters all aU grown and of the th ticket age It will be up to him to find a roosting place at home The bosom of his family famil will no longer be an adjustable one Some sort gort of local habitation and abode will be forthcoming for him and his no doubt but it will no longer be up to the railroads to provide it IL I The councilman too will be In close quarters He who has thought nothing of ofa ofa ofa a little trip to Portland and another lit little little littie tle tie jaunt to Denver and east again to Chicago will never care to wander from his own fireside One of the rare blessings will be the doing away with the state press associationS These aggregations formed of men running country news newspapers newspapers newspapers papers without any visible means of ot support and without any right to rep represent represent represent resent the state in any way wa will here hereafter hereafter hereafter after be forcibly prohibited from junket junketing junketIng junketIng ing around from state to state represent representing ing themselves as newspapermen when they know the inside of a real newspaper office if they saw one one The advertising that a railroad gets in such an office Is practically worthless and yet these are the men who have no hesi hesitation tation about asking for transportation for themselves and their cousins and their aunts Indians Are Barred BarredA A funny phase of the situation will be beas beas beas as to what Uncle Sam Is to do with the squaw and her papoose the most picturesque adjunct to western trains and andone andone andone one of the live exhibits of the western country Will VIII ill Mrs Squaw dismount say sayat sayat sayat at Uvada on the one hand or 01 Uintah on cn d e eI I r rr r J JI IJ l II r J 1 I I 1 Weary Also Affected the other and transfer her ner little bag baggage baggage baggage gage over the line in the good way regaining her former enviable vantage ground on the engine after the train has crossed the line How she will manage the affair no one has yet et deter determined determined determined mined but she wont pay fare That much may be b depended upon The big men entitled to railroad pat more than any other one class in the west are the great mining ship shippers shippers shippers pers whose interests are so closely allied to the railroads and whose business is in large matter matt r the railroads business too They are not often among the clamorous seldom for any an favor but tha the railroad men will regret not being able to extend courtesies to them as LS well as asto asto asto to their real newspaper friends But t must not be thought that be because because because cause the individual railroad man is re relieved relieved relieved the railroads worked work d for this con condition condition Of course it was not to their in interest Interest interest terest as a whole It may be said that thata a great grgat gr t bulk of them are not either directly or indirectly by it Cant Do It You Know Take the poor conductor whose who e mea meager meager meager ger salary was added to occasionally as gossip has it by a slight bonus from a passenger of good address How hard it will be now for him to explain to the theman theman theman man whose dollars he has pocketed ted be before before before fore how he cant sant do it you know for fear he the passenger may suffer for it Perhaps the busiest men in town for forthe forthe forthe the next few weeks will be the railroad men Not only do they have to continuo continue their ordinary work but they are con conning conning conning ning the words of a new song I Cant Do It You Know with which to stand standoff standoff standoff off the patrons and the hosts of exceptions to the rule who present themselves at this season of or the year for or transportation The hunter of bargains addicted as she is to the dry goods shops does not forget the railroad offices Many a wo woman woman woman man whose diamond rings and handsome furs would class her differently is will willing willing willing ing to be In the charity class rather than pay full fare on a railroad Many a one could have saved saed money in shoe leather if nothing else by b paying paving the full fare tare for a short trip but she would not All these will be carefully segregated in the future But the worst class of all is the fake advertisers or promoters similar to the theone theone theone one recently fled from here They come ome armed with the most gigantic plans and showing the millions which will redound to the credit of the railway if their schemes go through Their schemes fre frequently qu fail but they themselves manage mana e eto to go through All this will be done away with The railroad man will not only explain how impossible the plan is he will show a fine sense of responsibility ity in regard to the life of the promoter He will tell him how he dare not risk the usefulness of so fine a man by placing placing placing ing hm him in danger of fine and imprison imprisonment imprisonment imprisonment ment Hobo Tells Tells His Troubles Yes sighed Weary Veary Willie as he lay back among the alfalfa stalks stalls which con constituted constituted constituted his temporary abode I tell you a thing them the law lawmaking lawmaking making business does that dont have its effect on us Here we are willin to let iet the hull push alone and do no harm to io nobody and now they goes and rings busi business business business us in on this interstate railroad ness nessI I 1 did think thin when I fust cast me eye at the proposition that them high and mighty guys was the ones what would get cinched for our little ride but I see were in for it too although al ugh we dont have no saso in the law making How is It Well you see the only deadheads they has nowadays is all of or their own kind doctors ministers and them guys what has to rid ride else they get there at all Good common folks like us has to put up with a ride from one sta station station station tion to another on the brake beams and 4 S I S v The Charity Woman Wom n neven even then if we are caught your our Uncle Sammy is into our wool and we stand a good show of gettin jugged for fair You dont see as ns Sympathetic Silas edged a little nearer and asked the mean meaning meaning meaning ing of it all Well WeIl this here interstate business has got to the place where all you vou can do is ride within the boundaries I Ir of r our own state Now you see to make a getaway to Colorado an inoffensive fel tel fellow fellow tellow low like us has to change cars so to speak and it aint always convenient If we should ride into Colorado on the beams wed be just as liable Hable to be caught and cinched as ns de company See De Deonly Deonly Deonly only ting to do is to get off of this side and wait till a good chance to walk over overcomes overcomes overcomes comes along and take It IL Den in Grand Junction when I gets on see dey dont get on Yes we might get in on the home homeless homeless less wanderer proposition but again we Ye see eec dey might make us have a home and what would be worse than that Then again we might take care of the livestock what we could get and make a trip that way wa but the whole thing is a Imposition and another evi evidence evIdence evidence I dence of the trusts and monopolies Its interfering with the rights to life lib liberty liberty erty and the pursuit of happiness and a healthy citizen wont stand it See de debrake brake Going to take a chance Well VeIl of course I am What dye think |
