Show The Hotel Clerk t ton on Sprang Fashions BY IRVIN S COBB What db do you think about It Larry asked the Hotel Clerk of the St Reck Reckless Reckless less Shall I 1 succumb to the long green frock modeled on the chaste yet graceful lines Unes of ot a string bean with the double row of ot white buttons scat scattered along the short ribs like the stops on an organ 1 Or shall I allow my er or errant rant Lant fancy to be wooed Into Inton a melodious coma by the tho modish h cuta cutaway cutal way as worn with the fashionable of ot the new now squashed cantaloupe t tint Shall I have the scalloped effect on the turnback cuffs Or shall I order some of those tasty ta ty side pockets that are cut out in a n curve and put on the bias like a sharks smile Its ajl an still an open question to t me and I will probably need nee l the help of ot a few dis discriminating criminating friends In making a selection selection selection tion You see theres such a It confusion of directions coming from those that are best qualified to speak out und tind nd advise a palpitating and excited public One leading authority now that the broad lines of wavy braid running down the outer seams Beams of ot the trousers or pants if I made west of Pittsburgh will wll provide a truly winsome finish to a business suit for forenoon wear An Another Another other who is of ot equal standing in the profession lon especially recommends that they tIltY shall be made loose loo and care care carefree free around the tIle hips but turned UP wp at the tho bottoms as far fur as the dictates o of good taste and the size of 01 the knee jot jol t 1 will allow Personally I have a haunting dread that the long and clinging frock coat I may not become me it would be fine I Ifor for a slender willowy form say like I Vice President Fairbanks who Is really the only Gibson girl statesman Weve eve fi I got left but while I f have hae ha e a good figure that Is only pleasantly plump still sUII at att that Im willing flUng to admit that I may be begetting begetting begetting getting what call lumpy lump in spots what makes me hesitate in my m selection of the or effect with the lapels 1 open back like the th shutters on a henr lien hen house houst Ah Au me no wonder so many of i our most prominent young men are breaking down under the nervous strain of ot trying to do the thing in the I face laco of ot such conflicting and contradictory contradictory tory advices Wot Wet talk have ave you your win winsome winsome winsome some pants and your oh button night nightmares nightmares nightmares mares asked the House Detective Have you been the pipe in the back b Ck room of a retail store or have you y U been drinkin at a merchant tailors convention Ive I merely been reading up on the modes the spring modes for tor me said the Hotel clerk lerk Ive been trying to Inform myself how a man shall attire himself In order to avoid making him himself himself self spIt Conspicuous In the best circles It would appear from my readings that the th man who dresses up like a human being this season Is in great danger of at being Jeered at as one lacking in the mere One article that I saw In the paper says that not only the coatings c the and the pant ings but even the and fihe he and the porous plaster 1 Ings If tr such be worn must follow tallow a common color tone such as mauve maue or pink or muskmelon tan in order to stamp a fellow as a dresser of dig dis discrimination crimination and Individuality lity And th use attention that is being paid this year to io the smaller details of dress youve no Idea Larry A man of oC even the simplest taste is going to at least six walking canes and as for scarf pins I and andu Come out of It admonished the puzzled puzzled puzzled House Detective You never fall tall for no such foolishness as is all ll that and If It you did Id quit speaking to you ou and so would all your other oth r friends Wed talk about you maybe but not to you Jou Well VeIl I suppose youre oure right said to IP Hotel Clerk But it certainly m makes aks me wistful and envious to read rood about the garments that are going to be bevorn worn vorn by the tho pioneers of ot the world of ot fashion next month I lack the hardi hardihood hardihood hardihood hood myself to do It I confess It with shame Our stock sprang from the primeval soil solI at too recent a It period to qualify me m to wear those Pains fire fireworks firework fireworks works work clothes If I Should become the owner of a pair of the fashionable egg eggplant eggplant eggplant plant purple half hose formerly socks having a design of southern smilax twined around the ankles and holly holl hooks hocks In the natural colors running up the legs Id feel teel that Fd rd have hae to walk on my hands in Id order to get my moneys worth But one who is to the manna born as the poet says could go pad paddling paddling paddling around in society with his south southern southern ern ln terminals thus in beautys i cave and never neer let on any more than M If he h was barefooted tell you ou Larry Larr it takes about three generations of persistent wealth and the Hind of oC culture you get at atI Lenox I nox and Palm Beach to reach the point where you ou can put on those spectacular spec spectacular garments and look as If you were wearing them With you r u or with me look as if the t e clothes was wearing us After Alter a f has enjoyed ed about years of at uninterrupted mazuma in this county you might begin to get results The Joe Cannon knobs and declivities that distinguished the countenance of the founder of the her hereditary hereditary hereditary estate have been obliterated from the faces of the present crop of male leaving them with a smoothness and symmetry unmarred by b any an expression whatsoever The mind has become a mere mero damp trace tr Ce which still adheres stubbornly to the Inner or unused side of at the skull but gives the owner no trouble see such a person sitting on the back of bf his neck in a club window yawning until he lie looked like a doughnut In the face and probably say sa to your yourself yourself self that this was a party lacking in and daring Which only goes to show how mistaken be That no noble noble noble ble youth has a bunch of sporting corpuscles cor corpuscles in his blood like a tall taU stack of ot red chips He proves it by the clothes he wears When a New York family has got gotso I Iso so eo used to having money that its members mem members I Ibers bers can call the servants by their last J I names offhand and know how to shake i hands at atthe the level l vel of the Adams apple without appearing it us usually usually usually produces a young oung Prince Charm Charming Charming ing with a brad shaped like a pine pineapple pineapple pineapple apple cheese heese who is able to appear happy and comfortable in garments that you or 01 I wear in a min minstrel minstrel minstrel first part without attracting com comment commet comment ment met Well praise b be bee men aint as vain vainas as women women about their duds said the House Detective Quite right said the Hotel Clerk one on of the grandest things about our sex aint it Still SUIl Ive no noticed noticed noticed that when a man joins the Knights Templar or gets appointed in inthe Inthe inthe the governors gov staff about the first thing he does is to o go down to the pho photographers photographers photographers and have nave a few dozen full lengths taken in which he is shown with a pleased smile on his face tace stand standIng standIng standing Ing up courageously under his weight of epaulettes and gold plated curtain cords And Ive often caught myself wondering if so many would turn out for a 3 lodge funeral of a member ot or the Amalgamated Order of Laryngitis if they had to leave off oft the regalia This clothes proposition Is a funny game anyway you take tako it Larry Whop When Vh our healthy ancestors were in inhabiting Inhabiting inhabiting habiting the thc swamps of 01 Britain wear wearing wearing wearing ing their own teeth and hair and car carrying carrying carrying no excess baggage to speak sp ak of 0 they the were savages When they fell feIl into the habit of ot wrapping up their th lr legs the same as comic opera and wearing outer garments which fitted them just as bad as if It they had been made by b a fashionable London tailor of the present day they were rians BuL But in this century when a aman aman aman man puts on a pair of suspenders that saw Into b nature and divides his disposition Into two jagged frag fragments fragments fragments ments and when he inserts his feet in into into into to the shoes that have en enabled enabled so many of our leadin leading chiropodists chiropodists diets to buy bu country places and encases his dome In an opera hat that would be bea bea a concertina if it had works in it and backs into an overcoat that fits him like a dog tent and sometimes even falls taUs for one of those tweed suits with nice broad stripes in it that you have to tv U ik k around behind him to see the mist st of Qt the pattern why r then th hes a aj I crowning product of civilization Still SUll at that I bet there aint no noI nom I m I I Iother i other wn in the United States ex except except x New York stand for them foolish English clothes said the time House Detective Were cre all slaves of some tyranny or other whether we get our diseases out of an almanac by the I light of a log fire at night or buy them indirect from a specialist on Fifth FIrth avenue remarked the Hotel Clerk The main maiji difference ence is that out In Inthe Inthe inthe the provinces they dont off after new tailor shop goods every time Ume the cal calendar calendar calendar a page pae They seem to stick closer to the old idols A highly shellacked white shirt with a n white tie tia and a diamond stud the gam gambler gambler gambler bler same with the tie tic but w Jut the stud a local pastor same name with the tie slipping armind aro nd under umI the tho ear and a marbled design of at tobacco juice on the bosom a member of the legislature same with Ith no collar no tie no stud and craving a trip to the tha laundry the man who cleans up around the place for 50 cents a week we k Why Larry the wardrobe is every everything eVer everything thing In the country when it to dressing a part The average piti li tI clan cian in a back district can lose nearly everything else and stilt still hold Ills his hi own and a little bit hit of somebody if It Ithe he clings to two things Wot two are them aske l the House Detective his real vital organs said salu the Hotel lork Ones Onos his voice olce and the others his Prince Alb t coat coats s |