Show I ON THE SIDE SIDEBy 1 I By WEX JONES JONEST THE TIfE T STREET CAR BABY ITS S jat t a round bundle of flannel and nd ITS i lice I Two fat little EWe feet leet pudgy Lands Hanck and a face And kicking and ud rolling grows grow WI bolder sad and d bolder Till it crawls crawl from its mothers embrace emb to ta taher toLer her Ler dodder boulder And Aad esce it arvey all the ike folks folk in m the car carAnd Aad And crows crow at as if pleased pleated with all things thing as u they aret are I t It Ie chuckles chu Ies and gargles and ad unites smites in a way That means eul AH All you CIU kind people 1 I bid Lid you I g i I I Then others mothers observe Lu it h and an d say its It well weD Well M grows grown gro I But Bul of course not a patch on the kids of off their own While a schoolgirl rl examine the shapeless wee boot And declares that the darling darlings too awfully cute I And the crusty old bachelors look p from hom I their papers I With Walt a smile at the s I open ca afraid if they ther catch those round eyes of deep blue blur blueThe I IThe The fat fal little flute bARge baggage will gurgle Pop goo oo Aad And then thea a as the bundle of cooing and charms charm charmIs I Is borne from ho the car cu in it its hi mothers mother proud arms arras I A fatherly man an 8 sap ay Your boy is a a pearl purt pearlAnd pearlAnd I And coldly the mother replies replica She s a gut girl No doubt the delegates de tes to the universal peace congress will be stirred by bT such r soothing airs alts as the Marseillaise the Watch on the Rhine Rhino and tie the British Grenadiers A woman has hu Just died who badat spoken to a man for tor years yean ears Sue S e lose much THE DICTIONARY OF MISINFORMATION MISINFORMATION MATION BLACK HAND The annex to a foun fonn fountain thin min pen CONSCIENCE A bore that has us in ID a corner FLOUNDER A flatfish flattish s The flat flatfish ab is II so rolled called became it Is rs r thin enough to live lire in aSat a dat JOKE misfortune ml KID KIDA A boy up to seventy or a girl up to forty and some alter after r LABEL A list of chemicals taking I tho the place of o a short name like Ilka pure J maple syrup or straight whiskey MERMAID MEn A maid that can never wear bloomer REPUBLIC REPUBLICAn An incorporated mon monarchy monarchy monarchy archy Formerly a democracy SPINACH 1 A vegetable eaten by many respectable people 2 Collo Colloquial whiskers whIsker See that old man he looks look lIke Wee a patri patriarch patriarch arch Looks to me more like a patch Dotty Dialogues Dialogue TOMATO A common mans mana bomb Why did he stop atop his Ma speech f fits Hla opponent argued with a tomato Dotty Dort Dialogue Another sunspot tag hag been discovered Therell be millions of them on view a week eek after alter the bathing season opens I TALK OF THE DAY DAYI I MR SINKS RINKS MRS JIBS SINKS BIKES 1 1 Mr UR MRS MIlS JINKS MRS BINKS the weather Just too awful HRS MUS JINKS My new neTe hats hat ruined rained ruined rained MH HR I spoilt all the game I MR Giants have It all over OTer the Phillies Phillie HItS MUS Who do you jou think will wUl win Mr Hr II BInks MIL HR its a s pipe Ipe MUS HItS JINKS What has hili Philadelphia Philadelphia to tolo todo lo do with it IU MK MIL playing all allI there got J ot to do with It I MRS HRS RS John you yon ought to he ashamed of yourself There you ou are talk talking talkIng ing lug baseball again and Mrs Hrs r Jinks asked you IOU about the new Dew trial MRS HRS JINKS Never mind my dear Men Hen aw ue so stupid Did Old you ou see IQ what a II perfect fright Mrs Cogg Co looked In her now noTe hut hat WEATHER See unexpurgated edt edi edition tion IRS it too perfectly hideout MR n a mutt I tell you yon a mutt MR m JINKS The best belt first baseman that ever stepped on a field MRS Ju ow these men Inen do talk t MRS HRS you yon may bare hava one highball with Mr Hr BInks a small one mind MR m JINKS Come along Jack They slide for tor the dining room MRS ms BINKS Those two men talk tali so much I MRS Hits JINKS Now we WI can settle down for tor a 1 quiet at Old DId you hear about Mrs Foe l F etc etc 10 Sounds from the th dining room sop Gee good goad t 1 Well as II I Iwas Iwas was saying arIng the Giants have hare a cinch etc etc cle I Napoleon Nap loon said Raid that Providence was 1131 on the thee side of ot the strongest battalions II H II Rogers shortens the saying lie declares that Providence l is 11 on his hb side aide Some delving professor pr professor has hall unearthed the Information that the t first kisses were I sniff kisses Those early days must mast have hilT seen a bullish clove market marketA A LIFE 5 a n m Gave but bat statement that alleged Interview with President In which he was reported to have said The Govern Government Government I ment went mo me m was W S malicious fabrication 5 Denied pub story that Ad Adi ministration favors J 1 I Morgan Horgan in 1 Denied story that tears bears aro are to be bet kept in White House Houle grounds showed I that It Will wan a misprint for tor bobcats 8 Breakfasting and denying story that President Is going to Central America to lick fighting republics Into loto peace 6 S SO Explained that I was to blame for admission of ot railroad presidents Into White WhiteHouse WhiteHouse House Said I mistook them for party of off ofel scientists el Denied every story about the White House Douse In ia every one of the t e morning I papers I 9 Explained that I was responsible for tor utterance on OB Ohio situation attributed to President and added that I was unfit to Mv IvEl Iva I I 1000 10 Denied 27 7 more stories I 1100 71 11 Explained that I was responsible far ter TG 6 more nets acts of ot the Administration and be cd ed d to be executed Just days work I N The Standard Sta OH Ol Company and an the Ea Fu Petroleum Union have bue reached a mutually satisfactory agreement Of Ot course coarse consumer the toe mutually include the |