| Show N J Tilt THE GIRL 6 I I By Hg Margaret E Sangster S r i aa an the state statement I ment may be consider considering I ing ng how ho glibly most I A feminine creatures chat chatter chatt chatI I t tar ter there are tongue 1 tied girls girta Their F conversational endow endowments i I ments menta are limited and have haye no stock of ideas ideus on which to draw dra w when they meet Strangers or are away from the shel she sheltering orbit of the home circle They Th Y realize their limitations and grope about to find the reason only to become constantly more discouraged and less lem confident of themselves than before How can I conquer my disinclination to talk in company How Rev can I learn what hat to say tay How can I make myself and entertaining are ques questions questions questions often and sorrowfully put by the girl who vho ho owns herself and deplores the fact Some girls can talk very Cry well on a subject that has inter interested std ested C them and with which they are familiar But in order to do this they must have time place and opportunity There must be e somebody else to TV whom horn th the large subject makes an appeal and ah who h likewise has given it sufficient study to talk about it with intelligence if not hot with enthusiasm A girl of o this solid substantial type Is very much in inthe inthe inthe the position of a person who has bills of generous size In her but hut has no small change Occasions arise when small change hange is indispensable ble to comfort and when one cannot easily get about the world without its aid In a street car for in instance stance fance a bill might be use Es 5 when a nickel would carry one miles on a journey The small smaIl change of conversation enables one to say a light and cour court t tous ous thing quickly it implies some tal talt nt t for banter and repartee and it is a little dependent on use and wont on knowledge gc of ot the everyday ever day circum circumstances circumstances circumstances stances of those about us and on sym sympathy syma pathy tathy a with the mood of ot those we meet The girl who knows herself herselt to be though she regret it need not despair of ot popularity r Nobody is socially more disagreeable and more dreaded dr than a woman who talks too much monopolizing the conversation taking the floor herself and firmly hold holdIng holding holdIng Ing it and giving no one else lse a chance to 10 speak People flee from this over I gifted and aggressive talker A mere is equally disliked A good listener is always sure of If Jf you ou can but master I the fine tIne art of listening to each person v ith Rh an air all of deep interest just as if 1 there was nobody else at the moment In h the wide world and as If your great greatest greatt est t wIsh were to understand what the theother theof theother other of hr is trying to tell you you will J ie l the effect of talking well All that is really real necessary r is not to let letour letour letour our attention wander and at the right moment in the right places make some brief rejoinder or affirmation I ou need never tear sear that you will be bethought bethought bethought thought too silent if you listen well welland welland welland and say ay yes or no at proper intervals u A good listener is never a bore w lle a rz l great talker frequently gains that I unhappy distinction it Girls are sometimes be because bea because cause a use of indifference A bashful man I rr up to a certain c point is attractive But when it has hus Its root in a hamper Ing which makes one awkward and clumsy or surly and de def defiant f fiant ant it is a fatal handicap Whence h springs the overpowering diffidence 1 lays las its weird spell on some some girls I r cannot annot tell Circumstances have lit litto lItt litte to te t e to do with it Heredity may have much One finds a girl brought up in ina ina ina a ton and accustomed to meeting t and ait kinsfolk all nW her ller IU a ai i tim of this wretched ret bondage while a R girl Kirl Irl of the same age ge coming from a at t auntry home and a background of solitude may be entirely free from Crom It ItI r I remember once in a visit to a mountain land of or the south to have sen a beautiful girl ride up a steep hill hiU path and dismount at the door of the house where I was staying She entered red a room which happened to be filled with a throng of ot people most of whom were unknown to her and I standing within the doorway doona in a clear I sweet voice without a shade of o embar embarrassment embarras ras ment she gave a message from her ber mother Addressing the mistress of the house she said what she had been sent ent to say and then with a graceful and sweeping courtesy toek took her leave caye mounted her horse and rode away a wa That said one of ot the ladies ladles is lit the prettiest thing I I ever saw It was as pretty because the young oung girl girlin girlIn girlin in question who had never in her life been thirty miles from home had not nota a single vestige of s sit it I r am often asked b by girls what they the can do to overcome the dim difficulty difficulty culty Perhaps the most fatal thins thing thin is to try tr to talk merely for talks sake Never open your mouth unless you really have something to say is a good rule for fot the novice Interrogate your yourself self elt and see whether you have any farts fats or theories on which you yon may I draw Ones vocabulary is greatly en enlarged enlarged and improved by reading A I girl Irl who seldom reads will naturally possess a limited stock of words and her language will not always be well chosen It matters less whether one talks very ver much than whether one has the exact phrase at hand to fit and clothe her thought Some of us are singularly unfamiliar with what is gong on about us in the most entertaining and interesting pe period period nod No one can have very much to talk about who does not daily dally read the newspaper Current events at home and abroad discoveries inventions and the various things that belong to the forward march of civilization should interest girls I do not care very much whether a girl is learned or brilliant or clever so long as she is interest interesting ing It is a womans essential duty to have charm One who has no charm may have hac every virtue in ln the calendar but will go through life Ufe an uninteresting lug ing in woman Silent girls are by no means devoid of charm The most mo t popular girl in inthe Inthe Inthe the world is not always the one who Is readiest re arest of speech The girl who is witty at the expense of o others who is satirical or Ironical or places others even momentarily in a false position will never nev r long he be welcome in any company The girl Is In no danger of offending in this way Her silence is her shield One thing should be taken to heart by all girls and that is never to tell telI anecdotes or stories to a group of lis ha listeners listeners unless they know how to do it and are not in danger of missing the point The ability to tell teU a a good story at the right moment is as enviable an accomplishment as the ability to play playa pla r ra a sonata or sing a ballad But the blunderer who tells a story badly has the mortification of seeing the effort fall flat and has not always the acute acuteness acuteness ness neSA to understand what has hap happened happened penedA I ened enedA A young oung woman may comfort herself by b the reflection that it is not necessary for her always to take the lead She should sh ld leave that thatto thatto thatto to older women For herself she has the beauty of youth the sweetness of the early earty years and feeling that life is all before her and that the theda day da will come when although she Is reserved now she will undoubtedly find plenty to say and many people willing to listen to her Diffidence resolutely met will Ill vanish like the morning dew before the sun Then is it not far more desirable to tosa say sa at all than to talk un unkindly kindly of ones ot I orto o f fl else cise the he absent I would woul rather gb g than gain gnina a reputation i put tion for tor cleverness by b gossiping unkindly about acquaintances or friends Things not persons should compose the staple oi of daily talk Remember this anc and andt t today toda may ma be fluent to tomorrow morrow OITO Cop Copyright right 1905 by Joseph B Bowles Bowies |
