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Show THE LADIES. I" -.wi lvl write ''private" un tit. o:'!i..r- . if their -...--.ml cail. A ...un- l.uly at Caj-e May ;iltract. ''"n-i'lvrai'lr attcntic-n in licr lace I'aih.m,' suit. An Ohio lv-..I-n;a"ani h.L- kilKU ' 114 snak... i..u her way tu and irutu 1 svIioj! tiiii suiimnjr. A Bvluit t-limr lake- it npon liim-SL'll" liim-SL'll" Us ay that eU'jdi.inLi ur riiincK-c.'n.i.'M.'r. may run L:ract.';'ully, lut Wijia.jn ncvi'i', A. Peoria woman tlnvw a l'riek at :i iK n.v-'iiilv, -ii'ikin herself nn the lu'ek ot'h-:- head with stteh firec that it knoeked !ut down. Mis? Miranda Tlioni'Son of Illinois shoari shi'ep. mows r;.. :nd binds wheat, and i;oes to eimreh on Sunday with the hi-e.-t hu-tle in town. ''It civti as tniu h," svys the Uev. Uenn- MoiL-an, "to lanneh ;i wuman 'n the sra of life in these times us it would t.j lit out a small schooner.'"' The Danhurv- .V says no true woman will ask a man rihl after hreakfast what ho will h;ive for dinner, din-ner, or ju.-t hefore dinner t put ti a elothesdine. Tattle t;nsie spvinkkil her niotli-er's niotli-er's new hat. She thought it u " 'tunnin ' tlower d:rden. Jlowi-s were heanl in lhat neigldwhowl for the next half liottr. We shall know what a put- nose is, worth now, Mrs. Kitty Lane of Philadelphia Phila-delphia having fallen and hraken her nose and sued the city Tor l.).000 worth of consolation. A 'western railroad conductor, after twenty years of experience, concludes that he'had rat Iter carry twenty thousand thou-sand men passengers than to have one lone, lorn female on board his train. Havcr.-truw, Xew York, has a female fe-male barber, and it's curious how suddenly the honest old citizens, filly and sixty years old, have put by their razors and" fallen in love with a barber bar-ber chair. A Memphis woman who didn't want to mix with common folks hired a steiuuloaL at an expense of .-"iiK) io a pienie and return, and no one but herself and crew was allowed to go on the boat. Miss Kitty Mason of Elgin had a carbuncle car-buncle on her neck and couldn't go to a party, and so she imbibed laudanum. lauda-num. The doctors saved her, and out of respect for her feelings the partw was, postponed. A lady who was examining the triplets at the Maine hospital fair was cautioned by tlie ncrvons mother to be careful how she handled them. "Don't be afraid," said the lady, "I am a hrin myself." Sarah De Camp was laughing and gingling in chore. 1 at Grand Banks, .Nebrar-ka, when the preacher said: "The Devil lias his eyes on Sarah Dc Camp." The next day Sarah decamped de-camped from this life by jumping ( into a well. A Grand Itapkls, Mich., woman keeps 70 cats about her premises. When onedi's she has a funeral pro- i cession half a mile long composed entirely of eats. As soon as the grave is covered she gives a signal and the whole company howl in concert. Forty-nine girls who attend cigar I shops in Chicago were brought before the judge the other morning. He J said lie could not sec wherein they ditl'ered from their sisters of the street and fined them all. Chicago cigar lt shop with girls in them, are notoriously noto-riously bad. Eyes like diamonds; hair like a vexed mass of golden feathers; a faultless form; a hand upon which no man can look without an intense in-tense desire to kiss it are portions of a description of a young lady who is captain of a schooner that trades with Houston, Texas. Lucinda Holmes of Fcoria told Jas. Bascomb the other night that she couldn't marry him, 'whereupon he drank from a phial. She sent for r doctor and a preacher, .and after he had been saved and t hev were united ' it was found that he had drank nothing noth-ing but sweetened water. An Illinois journal says: "A daughter daugh-ter of Jv. W. Porter, residing neat Monmouth, whilcmaking her bed tlu other day discovered a rattlesnake k; comfortably coiled up between the sheets. Immediatelyalter the people of Monmouth thoughtthe corporator law against steam whistles had beci: violated. '4 A Galcsburg man, in a public place recently, displayed an unusual aileetion for his wife, whereupon hi; ami sp'isa grew uneasy and remon- , strated against his attentions as tot ii marked fur public observation. "Tin devil!" said our friend, "ain't w( married?" "Yes," said ins bettei half, "hut judging from your deport ment folks will think we ain't." |
