Show I WHEN MORTICIANS MEET I The morticians of Utah and neighboring i neighbor-Ing stats held a convention In this city yesterday and the day before To avoid I any misunderstanding and avert a panic It may be just as well to explain I right here that a mortician is a fin de slecle unertaera cadaver packer an I embalmer who Is not engaged In the army contract business In Chicago There Isnt any particular han In a I mortician He dosnt aim to hurt the living and his business Is to hell thc deadWhen When morticians meet in convention they never seek a dark cellar decorate like the catacombs with skulls and femurs fe-murs they do not wear long robes of black and sit around In solemn precision sion and chant and chew the cud of morbid melancholy There Is enough of that In their business affairs When they lay aside the cares of death the relaxation Is something wonderful to behold They are like a lot of YCr old cols that have bC kept in the barn nil winter and turned out in spring for a frolic They have more funthan anybody The undertaker Is never so welcome as when he Isnt engaged In his mystic work Long life to the mortician May he ever die from overwork The more Idle days he has the more happy homes are In the land |