Show SOTTO VOCE A MAN tore into the City Hall the other day white with rage and waving a piece of paper in his hand Where is the man that fixes the taxes he inquired excitedly What can i do for you l calmly replied re-plied the recorder Last year my house and lot was assessed as-sessed at 2000 This year they have cut it down tol900 I want to know who gave them the right to depreciate the value of my property in that way thats what lIT I IT is said that Sitting bull is fond of canned goods An eastern paper suggests sug-gests that some one should send him a can of nitroglycerine and a hammer and cold chisel and tell him to pitch in and enjoy himself SALT LVKE Crrv possesses twenty eight organized baseball clubs and twenty Brass bands If the Mormons can stand all that it is no wonder they laugh at the United States armVOil City Derrick I THEY HAVE coroner down iu Marys vale who understands his business Our letter from there today states that a body being found on the hills he summoned sum-moned three citizens good and true to examineand to bury the remains THERE is one bright Spot m Governor Murrays career which we believe has never yet been revealed When John Robinsons circus was here a lady who sat near Eli was a surprised observer of the following incident The Governor was watching the cannon ball tosser all eyes when he felt a tug on his boot Looking down he saw a small gamin under the seats who had made his way under the canvass and was now struggling strug-gling with all his might to get into the air Please mister the boy gasped Give us a hand will yer1I Hold on a minute sonny the Governor Gov-ernor replied Just wait till this lemonade lemon-ade man passes and Ill fix you all right As soon as the fiend had gone by the Governor triumphantly hauled the boy out of his confinement Ivvx IN the Tribune of Saturday morning informs an anxious public that certain individuals were fast in the arms of Orpheus meaning thereby they had been hitting the pipe at some Chinese joint This will be news to Orpheus and will probably have a tendency to make Eurydice irtilpus not to s anything about the feelings of Morpheus whom it was supposed sup-posed all alone had a corner on this sort ol business hNAI BASTABD infamous coward and liar I baseborn wretch i 1 are the pet names bestowed upon the Newt by the Tribune And yet the latter says argument is exhausted and words have lost their usual meaning mean-ing As long as the Tribune can argue like that the only way it ever did argue by the byewe see no reason why it should complain of exhaustion in that respect If it should say the time for calling names slinging dirt and slanderingits betters had passed we should begin to think there was some hope that it was about to reform or emigrate Either would give general satisfaction THE REASONS for the illconcealed air of despondency which more than usually has prevaded the reckless writings of the Tribune editor of late was made the subject of special inquiry by a HERALD reporter yesterday who succeeded before nightfall in ascertaining ascertain-ing the following among many other Cause that render our contemporary this glorious Sabbath morn particularly doleful and loaded with bitterness and surcharged with wormwood and chockfull chock-full of virulence and froth and hdlo phobia and the revised edition of Radts The Tribune is sorry because J It has a Hart Its vocabulary of epithets for its rival cotems is well nigh ehausted Of the nice things it once said about the present editor of the Democrat Grass is daily growing shorter for its precious pets the fee fiends It ever quarreled with the management manage-ment of the Salt Lake Theatre Its business manager is not a more polished better spoken and a thinner man Its local editor remains so densely ignorant ig-norant of current events and particularly particu-larly of dramatic topics Its associate editors proboscis has flattering prospects of continuing a bright and shining light forever Its editorinchief was not invited to join General McCook and the Governor Gov-ernor at the camp on the Weber Its favorite but flatulent Commissioner Commis-sioner let a reputed polygamist slip through his judicial fingers the other dav The grief is the more soulfully poignant in this instance in view of the extra supply of demijohns which went out that way lately addressed to Mr Jack Seagers Its boon companion confidante and slave the Marshal of the Territorywith all his lynxeyed deputies has never succeeded in getting aboard the Underground Under-ground Railway THE HERALD is hourly increasing its usefulness its influence and its subscription sub-scription and today enjoys the well earned distinction of being the most popular paper in Utah The statement of a reliable official inadvertently in-advertently gained admission in its columns col-umns to the effect that Mormon emigrants emi-grants arriving at Castle Garden ate clean intelligent and well behaved There is a hell The Hew Music Firm Coalter and Snclgrove are another ci themany firms who know that the way to reach their patrons lies through the SPKDAY HERALD and in todays issue they make a handsome display of the lines they carry in their well assorted stock The youth rustling ability and wide acquaintance of both members of this firm guarantee them a heavy patronage pa-tronage among music lovers and the popularity of the old firm of Daynes mfZ Uoalteris apt to be more than ever increased in-creased under the new regime Coalter t Snelgrove have placed before be-fore us a copy of the timely and neatly gotten up Hero waltz composed by our wellknown lady teacher Mrs Flora 8 Hill adapted for piano or organ Price 40c m l dAs d-As it is a beautiful melody tastefully arranged and within the reach of medium med-ium performers an extensive circulation circula-tion is guaranteed it |