Show 1 r S STORIES TORIES GOING I 1 THE ROUNDS BOUNDS T DS hl I 0 I TIlE THE SECRET I PIE day dey a well known politician wasp was 1 p I ONE enjoying a chat with a friend AtI at I a a. London hotel when hen a strange e eI I and said I young youn man came up i f I Can I see sea you OU for a Q moment Mr DASh t I Certainly answer Mr dir Dash rising Tho The young man led It'd him across tho the room and seemed to have hava something important to say to him Arrived in to a a. corner r the stranger whispered In 11 tho the politicians politician's ear car I Z an am on tho staff of or an evening paper paper pa pa- per and I should like you 1 0 to toll mo me what you think of or the situation in tho the east boat Mr Dash looked a a. little puzzled at first then he said Follow v me mc I And leading the way ay he walked through the reading room down some soma steps Into th the drawing room through a alon along along lon long passage Into the dining room and nd drawing his hla visitor Into the corner be behind behind be- be hind bind the hatrack he to whispered whispered I really tont dont know anything about Tit iti II Bits U. Tit Bits HE liE FELT IT c tT cried the old gentleman gentleman gentle- gentle F p man in the Red Lion smoke moke room 11 is a aIn sin In and a a. disgrace Foot Foot- Football ball he continued thumping the table L with his fist Is 15 an abomination and a at at t blot on The very ery name of ot If football he shouted sweeping two J. J glosses and a pint pot off oft the board In Y f. f Ills his Is excitement the excitement the very name of football foot foot- f hall hail is enough to make a decent rot ro- ro t man go and hang himself out outI I 1 of or pure st F t The gentleman scorns to feel rather deeply on the tho subject said a commercial commer commer- I 1 cial Jal traveler who had been listening to tor r his remarks lie Ho do assented ono one of ot tho the natives Has he be lost something at a match motch 1 inquired the commercial traveler He ave so Ad a. a relative killed at atone one replied the othor other What relative was it IU asked the I Is ls 18 wife's first husband was tho the response Louisville Herald SUITING TIlE THE QUESTION i HE BE damage suit was as on and BIldad's Bildad's BIl- BIl dads dad's chauffeur was tes testifying for forthe forthe forthe the plaintiff Now you say say raid the tho pompous awyer lawyer for tor the defendant that at this joint the two cars traveling at the rate of thirty miles mUes an hour came together to- to gether geer head on Then what did you OU I i lo o 0 The witness gazed wearily at his I I he said I turned to Why Ta ray nay wife f who ho was brushing the baby's hair in inthe he the and I said sald I thought the tho s must be bo aone by this time Ume Bang interrupted the Ju Judges Judge's ge's ravel avol Stenographer said his Honor stripe that fool tool answer from the roc roc- d And nd doesn't tho question go with it I d eZ e. e asked the witness meekly Sure Sura said laid his Honor forgetting the of his bis calling for for the moment I lorper's arper's Weekly I IBE HE BE GOT COT ITHE IT HE shabby man with tho the blushing nose approached the tho stranger who was sipping a cocktail Friend sn said sad d the shabby man ItCAn if It if can convince you OU that tha you ou have hac Ioven fingers would you consider mo orthy worthy of ot a drink at nt your expense I I 1 certainly would replied tho the tranger Now start the count said the shaby shab- shab y man On your right hand here heTe aro arone ne two three four tour five now tho the left eft hand six hand six seven se eight nine ten You lose announced the stranger Nay na nay said sold the shabby moan man Dan We e will win count back See See ten ten nine seven se six six and and five on your they ther hand are eleven Ho got the drink Cincinnati En- En nER ER PROPOSAL IBS ISS ETHEL apropos of leap year told a story at tho the Colony Colon clubA club A A girl sir the she said looked calmly at caller one evening and remarked George Gc aa as it is leap IMP year year year-It The caller t turned rather pals pale Az As it is leap year ear she oho continued lan and l you have been calling regularly four nights a D. week elk for tor a L lonbon long long on ong time Ume George I propose propose I Im not in a position to marry on Iny fly salary George broke In hurriedly I I I know that well Georgo tho the girl pursued and so so as it is leap year car I thought bought 1 Id I'd 1 propose that you lay Iny layoff off oft md ind give O I some sonto of or the tho ninny many eligible ova joys a n chance Washington Star Stor IT REVIVED THE TilE I KID KIU ID 1 HE mistress of or the hO house e had been to 10 a a. concert and when she re returned returned ro- ro turned she was vas met by the sor- sor ant L-ant with Baby ill was oas very while ou ou were cre out mum Oh dear said the mistress Is Iso Ise Jo o e better Oh yes es mum hos ho's nil all right no now ut aut he wa was b bad d at first I found his in the thA cupboard Good gracious What hat have ha you en him There is no medicine in liars here screamed tho the mistress I Oh yes yoa 08 there I is its Ita written right TIght Im In It it then she rhe produced n a bottle labeled lcd Kid Ind r Rev Reviver vcr Milwaukee e ree Press I 1 IL Cannibal King See King Sec here what I was S that that- dish you served up to o mo me moat at lunch I rho Tho Cook Cook Stewed Stewed cyclist your our ma ma- jesty cst I Cannibal icing It It It tasted very crY burnt Cook Cook dell Well he was v.-aa scorching when k-e k e c caught him him your our maje majesty tY Sketch I |