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Show 4 - A Line o' Type or Two " Fav co que vouldras. " i : j BY B. L. T. Le Eoi Est Mort. Vive Le Koil I Dead is l-'accims, clod rest his soul! iH-ad tho eaiehea we used to troll. Dead the bottle and dead the bowl. JJin-doug ! Jjintj-tlons! Sound the busrle and rnll the drum! JUul, Kiny Coit'ee. your hour is cornet Wreathed with chicory, lacs and lapses, Toast our monarch in do: intake?, Roa.st him, toast him, yinii a yiee! Mad and ir.criy as Bacchus ho. Bacchus TT. lias name and style, Merry monarch of Java's isle. He shall liven the revel late; He shall addle the poet pate; Rule the dances ot" nymph, and satyr, Bubbling lord of the percolator. Brew his MolIul and quaffing hot, Burble, bards, of the perkliuy rot. PAN. Chairman Kahn of the house military affairs committee talks of "savin it the t fix payers'' several hundred millions. What becomes of all the vast sums that arc saved to the taxpayers? Til Easiest Way. Plr: In checking over my bill of expenditures ex-penditures I take it t hat the chauffeur got tired of crank in sj it or else thought he could walk faster. Be that as it may, I find at the bottom of the first sheet, "Carried Ford $'7.Sj." Maybe the road was muddy. M. M. Two Connecticut boys, who pot the Idea from a movie, handed a -playmate. The o. f. boy used to re-id dime mivcis and start out to f i.u'ht Indians. Of the two he was the better educated. As the Trih pointed out seme time apro Ireland's misfortune is its ideographical position. Now. if ft could exehaneie places with Iceland, the problem would be happily solved. Imagination Keels, Grasps at tho Air, and Falls Prone on Its Back. Plr: Every time I drink coffee at midnight mid-night the penalty is several hours of sleeplessness, with the imagination run-mm; run-mm; riot and an endless arrav i f d isa-preeable isa-preeable thoughts com Pit; unhidden to drive away sleep. Last niuht, afier toss-inc: toss-inc: and turning for two hours, this disquieting dis-quieting possibility confronted me: Suppose Sup-pose that in tho present state of unrest all the tfix collectors of the country, as if nni:r.ated hy a coninem Impulse, should 1 suddenly throw chnvn th'dr tcols ard quit work. Can you imagine a contingency more horrible? K. C. W. We Could Use This Person Around Here. (From the fVdar Rarids Gazette. His name is William Otto Struck. Smp of the folk in las home town call him Otto, some of them Bill, but most of tlv.-'P who speak to him sav. "Cello. Orarny!" There are a lot 01 people there who d n't even speak to him. They have rot beer, overly warm in their manifestations of pat riot I sin. When r.rannv asked Fre! I lar twit;, mavor of Jiwden. last wr-ek If he had sworn out information aetint 1dm and Hartwlg said yes ami started to pull a revolver. si- ordirsr to "t Iranny," S'w-k s'rue'K and he struck hard. When Struck hears some one speak! tic Oermin that he knows can Freak Knghsc he ud's 'em to eat out the urch. And it's cut out. Or when lie got-s down the : street and there's a bunch of fo'r or live men standing on tho sidewalk, men who 1 are cinssM as prof, and the- h'.m, th'V inimedi.it. dy begin r s -at tor. 1 IM fought in Kraiee with the Fourth division, was aj's-'d and ph.dl shocked, but he's as mue.t f a scrapper as ever. The rail for the Rr :uti!iet(n ronff-ene In ralifo'-nfa "dearies the Murders of the r'pniT.i'iL" party." Politicians are nothing noth-ing If not original. Spring Madness. The .prtny has "cot" your poet5. sir. Fa i r Ba u ra. Iris. 1 'a n ; Thv 1!H of love, and souls and dreams. And Iris hugs a n an Ah, vonth and ?pHng, and bin! a and flowers And lo e. and snu n rd :h. ! If I dt here and "p''i" the Luneh 1 1 ft-ar I'll gt-t in d :t-'li. W. F. Y. "His father was a plain country storekeeper store-keeper who belonced io mue'i tho s.ime class of western Amerle.ins t : i 1 1 produe,-, i b ueral Craft fifty j '-urs earlier." Torre Haute Star. uir understand hi it nlwavs has been that Grant, beim; easy going, was simp.,, used by tho grafters. Don't Mesa Up tho Barber Shop. (From thA BurllmrMn. Wis.. Free I're-sJ Kvrr take a bMh? I.at week we p:om-iFod p:om-iFod tu tell yon all nbnut NomfMhmc different; dif-ferent; hTO it Is. We arn s.'je (-ell (tut fluent. for tho Allen portable bath; the Jiltie wonder b.-lh outfit tlv.r ran be use 1 In klteben, I e hoo-n or parlor; the hath that Illustrates th-i principle of bathing with water, not In water. Just ns we w ere cntrhlmc up on out pleep. word enines from Benhie that he and his emw d "are In Kr -t trouble." And zip goes slumber! Well, Whom Should? (From thn Torre Haute Tribunal Sui-lv when you know thai vou can't afford it, that jour bustnes'i will suffer If yni buy tliis ear. you should not have conm to me for ndvlee. It seems to me It Is a question be! W oeti yeu aud yn;;r wlfo a.-i to whom niia It wear the pants. Tf wo tak Governor lhhbv of Terns rcrrMly, h do-ui't propoMe that the Mexicans phali ndo him any lonuer. Considerably Fod Up. Sir: Overheard In Grnnt Park, wliere a woman w.i greet im; her soldier boy and n;.laiur hi in V ha I he'd 11 ;.e to cat "lon t cle nie no Mow, don't give me iw rice, and don't n 0 me nothing that looks liho a cracker." 1 'AM A. "Meditators- Mav Sett! Toledo's Auto SI rIK'v'"- kal.uii.u'.ooiMeite. Heavy Ihinklnn never settled a strike. Tho Heavy, Luxurious Dodo. ( From I he Spirit 1 .ake, la.. 1 aeon.' In-. Atkins tried but found bo JuM couldn't i:' t nlonr; w il limit n Ford, so be lias pureli:iH.'i 11 Kord turnabout ami we will noon expect ,0 se tho I r. and (lie Find performing tVe r mm il stunts He expect to keep Ills JHmIiim Tor comfort.. "It required nn hour to d bd ineuKh (tie fire '--.-pi log field Irrdltutl'ui c,ni:irtrt v, I agn baa almost made (his erh cor-reet. cor-reet. Wo Aro Adding a V.'hitj to t.ho Ar.ulemy. Sir- Tf the nendemv cioumls need looking look-ing a 4r I n-iinlmi I e t ia rd iwr G i ecu!, a I' for the job. And If n eia in irtaoimar In maintained II would seem nnlv a Mnd-rowi Mnd-rowi to enroll f Semen I 'mie and Id I Wendt. All I hree ( 'lilca-.o. t'AM'ITKOSrS. TtiA revere I American spe:il;s of peeneH, e.'ieji Mike." I mile l , erutv. And Own It. rmonnlly. Sir; A I Mthmiuc rc :le .b-Uer tiuniT oef (,(' foi;n, "1 iwii Vour Own Home Voui-.-M-lf." Thl-i e.ir June I w.mi t -. - vmne I h I tin will IlOt 1, the 1otU-.-.( rl.i v ,,f (be Vr;,r. 'J'he Imin.i ,,iv w HI bo July 1. |