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Show Katlil een Norris Says: Being Disagreeable Is a Luxury iBell Syndicate WNU Service. I He is soured by being held too tightly in a rut; by feeling that Mary and the girls merely want all the money he can make, for pleasures and purchases that mean nothing to him, and that the kindest thing he could do for them would be to die and leave them the big insurance. By KATHLEEN NORRIS TO MAKE himself disagreeable dis-agreeable is a luxury that costs a husband very little. When life goes dull for him; or his business is worrisome; when he has nothing to remember re-member of his fishing trip but sunburn and an unpaid poker debt; when one child has a cold and the mouth of the other is disfigured by dental den-tal bands, then it is Dad's royal prerogative to be disagreeable, dis-agreeable, and he has to be a man of real strength of character char-acter and real sweetness of temper to be anything else. Nobody can stop him if he wants to be disagreeable. When a man drinks or gam- ii j. krtotf Viic rViil- DISAGREEABLE? Kathleen Norris answers a letter from a tearful woman who complains com-plains that her husband is always glum and moody. "He acts hall-dead," hall-dead," she laments. Miss Norns warns that this may easily be her own fault. Her downhearted husband hus-band is probably carrying too heavy a burden resulting from excessive expenses of his wife and daughters. daugh-ters. "Come down to earth," she advises, ad-vises, "and you will all be much happier." garet getting into their teens, too. and these are days for simple hospitalities hos-pitalities and pretty, if inexpensive frocks and good times. I've begged him to relax, to be cheerful, to stop worrying. I've prayed about it Can you make any suggestion to 'just one more Mary?' " The only suggestion I can make is that there is a reason for this man's moods, and that when it is found and diagnosed, like any bodily sickness, Mary will find that she is k.lfnrav tn tVlP CMlTR. It may indeed be physical. It sounds very much like stomach ulcers ul-cers or colitis or any one of the similar sim-ilar ailments that so often attack men whose habits are sedentary and who eat heartily. If Larry can be persuaded to walk two miles a day, eat a light dinner, and substitute for rich desserts the invaluable orange, apple, saucer of prunes or compote of raw fruits, he may find life taking on a much rosier color. Trouble Probably Mental. But much more probably Larry's trouble is mental. He is carrying too heavy a burden. If two of those daughters had been sons he would feel very differently. "The boys will be helping out in a few years," would be his natural thought. The boys DON'T usually help out, and are much less reliable as money-earners than girls are, doesn't often occur to the father of daughters. daugh-ters. But that'i an aside. That boys DON'T usually help out, might come through a move indeed, but a move to simpler and less expensive ex-pensive rather than finer quarters. It might come through a determined lessening of expenses, rather than an increase in them. It might come if the twins started talking less ol college and sorority days and more of jobs. It might come if Mary and the girls all talked honestly to Papa, dismissed the maid, gave up the apartment for which they pay $85 rent and planned for a country farm near the city, at $35. It might come DieS LU CAUCSO, vja., dren, is unfaithful to his wife, there is something she can do about it But when he merely criticizes, sulks, snaps and growls, she is helpless, help-less, unless she wants to turn shrew, and at the same time turn the house into a hell for all concerned. Dad's Mood Affects All. Most women don't do that, if only for the sake of their own dignity and for the children. They over-look, over-look, they smile, they explain and placate and endure until the bad mood passes. "Dad is in a bad mood tonight, they say in an undertone. The children chil-dren glance at him apprehensively. A dismal quiet rules the dinner table. ta-ble. No young voice dares pipe up about the movie; the approaching finals at school; the need of new shoes. Mother makes a few tentative tenta-tive starts. -?'Nice that Doctor Smith won the Wbb golf match," she says. And after a moment, "Harriet telephoned today, just to ask about all ot us. They've decided not to move." Silence. Silence. The head of the house looks unutterably weary, looks faintly annoyed. "My husband is everything that is good and fine in character," writes a Boston wife, "but he is so glum! I could count on my fingers the times I have seen Larry really cheerful. We have four young daughters, and have had hard times financially. But times are better now, and we are paying off bills and if they gave Papa a chance to do a little gardening, to split wood and chop down trees and putter with a windmill's machinery. Helping Dad Out of Gloom. There is escape for all of us from difficult conditions, if we will but open our minds and hearts to find it A wife and four daughters, when the man of the house is the only bread-winner, shouldn't have a maid. Larry's family has one, and often, for part-time, another. Girls in such a family should be busy putting put-ting up fruit to sell, or taking after-school after-school jobs in frock shops or tea rooms. A mother like Mary should be talking of resources, not of constant con-stant needs. If she found some planning or, I am, at least lor a move to a nicer house and a little expansion generally. Larry takes no interest in this, he glooms away silently at meals, is very apathetic over any talk of change, and goes silently through life as if he were half-dead. "The effect of this on me and the girls is of course perfectly terrible. We can't start up a conversation while that deaths-head of boredom and disapproval is looking on. As a result we make our own plans and keep quiet when Papa is around. Larry resents this, too, for when I ask for money he hasn't heard our plans, doesn't know what it is for and generally growls about it Vn Criticism Allowed. weather-beaten old place ouisiae tne city, painted it with the girls' assistance, as-sistance, opened a lunchroom, took a couple of small children to board, started a bank account of her own. from which to supply her daughters the luxuries they want she might find the man of the house a changed person. Worry over family finances will make the best natured men "disagreeable." "dis-agreeable." If the family would cooperate co-operate to help save or earn money, this moodiness usually disappears. "All this seems very sad. to me. We could be so happy! The girls deeply admire and really love their father- I have never allowed myself my-self or them the slightest criticism of him. I have always reminded them that he works, hard to keep us aU comfortable and happy, that he stints himself to carry a heavy lite-insurance, just for us. and that he does truly love us. deep down in bis heart. But I find it hard gouig. sometimes. Now Patsy and Sheila are 16. twins, and Brenda and Mar- |