OCR Text |
Show - IKL,1GS. Violins were invented in 1477; A Queer Sight. To see grass-:ating grass-:ating animals ; to see animals eating ;rass is common enough, of course. A Troy Dutchman, in trying to reach the ferryboat, full into the water. His 5rst exclamation, on being hauled out, was : " Mine Gott, let's us have-, a p ridge!" A correspondent states that while riding from Philadelphia to New York he accepted a cigar from a stranger and discovered, just in season to save himself him-self that it was drugged. A new dodge to aid robbery in the cars. " Paddy", "my boy,7' said a gentleman to an Irishman whom he observed fishing fish-ing away at a favorite stream, " that must be a fine stream for trout ?' ' ' I'aith, aud sure it must be the same, for I have been standing here thin three hours, and not one of 'em will stir out of it !" A publisher of " religious works" advertises, among others, " The Danger Dan-ger of Damnation ;" " Hell as it lieally Is ;" "Wrath of the Almighty;" "The Way to the Bottomless Pit;" "Total Depravity Proved by the Bible;" "Doomed to Perdition;" " The Fiery Pit as a Means of Grace;'1 and other cheerful volumes with similarly simi-larly captivating titles. , - Said a loving wife to her husband, " Will you never learn, my dear, the difference between real and exchangeable exchange-able value?" The husband, tired of political economy, replied, " Ah, yes, my dear, I know your great learning and many virtues. That's your real value. But I know also that none of my married friends would change wives wjth me. That's your exchangeable value." On front of the theatre at Oxford there are some gigantic figures, the date and subject of which are alike buried in uncertainty. Two sailors were walking past. - " Who are the?e fellows, shipmate?" said one of them. " The Twelve Apostles," replied his friend. "Twelve Apostles ! How can that be? Why, there are only six of 'em.'" " Well," rejoined the informant, inform-ant, "ye wouldn't have 'era all on deck at once, would ye !" Two San Francisco barbers engaged to fight a duel, agreed to start aud walk around a block ; when they got within sieht of each other to blaze away. When they turned the corner out of sight, both started on a run in different directions, and one has sent from Alaska for his winter clothes, and the other has written to his wife from the city of Mexico, a.-king her to send his linen coat and palm-leaf hut. A Quaker maiden of sixty in Indiana In-diana accepted an offer from a Presbyterian Pres-byterian deacon, and on being remonstrated remon-strated with by a delegation of Friend'? appointed to wait upon her for marrying marry-ing out of the meeting, she replied : "Look here! L'vc been wailing ju-t .-ixty years for the meeting to omriy me, and if the meeting dou t want me to marry out uf it, why don t the uiet ting bring along its boys .'" The delegation departed in ilenee. |