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Show XX SURE CURES I.l) .TINGI.ESOX says he can V- cure any disease by drinking hor water," announced the bald boarder. board-er. "He has had every disease, (hat is officially recognized hy (he Royal College of rhysicians and Surgeons aud has banished them all hy tlisrt simple means. "Anything becomes be-comes a curative agent if a man believes be-lieves In It hard enough," said the star boarder. "Jasper Jones says he was tormented tor-mented with rheumatism rheu-matism for ten years, and tried e v e r y t h 1 n g of which we read in the almanacs, and nothing did him any good until he got a horse chestnut and carried It around in his pocket. Then the rheumatism disappeared, and hasn't played a return re-turn engagement since. I have talked with Jasper often, trying to point out the folly of his claim, hut he refuses to yield an inch. 'I used to have all kinds of rheumatics before I got that horse chestnut,' he says, 'and now I haven't a single one. Who would ask better proof than that?' "And echo answers who, my deat Mrs. Jiggers. It may be that a horse chestnut In the hip pocket is a specific for rheumatism. It isn't safe to denounce de-nounce any theory as a false alarm. "Ira Grifway used to be always groaning about his diseases, until It became unpleasant to meet him. He couldn't talk about anything else. Ho ignored the crops and regarded the weather with contempt, and devoted all his great energy and talents to a discussion of the things (hat were hurting him. Then all of a sudden he began boasting of how hale and hearty he was. He explained that the road to health was absurdly easy, and there was no excuse for sickness anywhere. any-where. All a man had to do, he said, was to get up early In the morning, before sunrise, and draw in a hundred long breaths of the crisp morning air. "He made the discovery himself, and It was more important than any modern mod-ern invention. His sincerity Is shown by the fact that there was no possible, graft connected with It. A man can't sell the morning atmosphere at so. much per breath. Ira's great discovery discov-ery was free to everybody. If J were going to invent a euro for anything I'd compound something that could h put up in bottles and sold at a dollar a throw. The man who Invents n. fresh air cure Is running benevolence Into the ground. "His cure was so cheap that I decided de-cided to try It, as I was suffering from a broken heart and a sluggish livef at that period. I set my alarm clock for an hour before sunrise, and got up in the pale, bleak dawn, and put my head out of the window to inhale in-hale the prescribed hundred breaths'. I had reached the twenty-seventh hreath when a dissipated bee or wasp, on lis way home from a night of revelry, rev-elry, stung me on the nose, and I wasu in such haste to put a porous plaster plas-ter on that organ that I didn't finish the treatment, and never tried It again. "But I knew many people who claimed they were cured of everything from the mumps, hoof and mouth disease, dis-ease, by the hundred-breaths treatment. treat-ment. "There was a .spring on my father's farm, and I doped if with sulphuric acid and a few other wholesome Ingredients, In-gredients, and then began selling the water to the afflicted for ten cents fl Jug. Sonie marvelous cures were effected. ef-fected. Men hobbled there on crutches to buy the healing fluid, and when they left they threw th'rj crutches away. "For a hrief session ,1 had more small chnnge than any boy In the county, but my fnlher returned lionm from a visit, and when he found out what I had boon doing, he Inter- i viewed me with a hickory polo, and foF a year or two I was busy paying buck the money I had collected from fcuf-ferers. fcuf-ferers. The people who had been healed suffered a relapse as soon at they heard the water was faked'; which goes to show, Mrs. Jiggers, that we are entitled to a better quality of bill tor on this table." |