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Show UTAH ORATORS IN SESSION. A Meeting- In the Tithliijr Office , Cellar, and a Kind of Lime Klin Club Organized. At the call of Epluribus Heraenway, one of the dry brush orators, a mass meeting of all the literal descendants of Melchesidick Ham was convened in the tithing office cellar for the purpose oi organizing or-ganizing a Mutual Improvement Association. Associ-ation. The attendance was much larger than the biggest ward fast meeting ever seen, and there was enough of the relief society element present to bring the meeting right down to business without those Woman's Exponent-like preliminaries prelimi-naries which always give so many the colic in its most violent stages. ' Absalom Mclntire suggested the name of Horatio Crabtree for temporary chairman, chair-man, and owing to the wealth and aristocratic aristo-cratic influence of the gentleman from j South Cottonwood the nomination received re-ceived an instantaneous and thunderous response, that made the old building quiver and shook down several uncured hams from the cob-webbed beams above. Horatio took the chair with a Charlie Crow-like diffidence, and said: "Iflcanhab deunseparated prayers of dis conference I will try to propishi-ate propishi-ate de honers so bounchusly perciptated on me. De fust dooty' ob dis convenshnn, as I take it, am to-'lect a sergunt-of-arms and picket him on de outside ob de outer doah. Aad if dis 'semblage hab con tracted de noshun dat dere am danger from de trap doah ober dere by br udder Septimus McCook, dis meetin 'ill 'pint a speshul committee to take charge ob dat apachur. Moroni Agramonte is hereby instituted to de cumbersome and pre-caryus pre-caryus offus afo'sed, and de congrega-shun congrega-shun M enjoined to delibrate on de questchun in relation to de trap doah." Septimus reluctantly removed himself to the post of honor, and the chairman continued: "My concepshun ob de ambishun ob dis meetin' am . dat a pum'nent club br -'ciety be 'naugurated under de spirit ob de constitushun and wid de aim to rejuvenate re-juvenate de cullud race and leed dem by de horns back into dat prime-evil con-dishun con-dishun which dey had arriv at befoah de stahs and stripes sang togedder fob glory. To dis end I 'spectfully nominate de oh-erible oh-erible Home-rule Ireland foah secrketery and casheer, and move dat de organiza-shun organiza-shun be proclaimed, signed, sealed and del ibered as it stands." Brother Crabtree was the only man present who made any pretensions to parliamentary knowledge, and the announcement an-nouncement was therefore received without with-out a murmur, and when the vote came it was unanimous and loud. The chair declared the meeting duly organized and ready to receive any communication from the members. After a pause of several seconds, during which Moroni Agramonte peeped in to see whether the meetmg had adjourned and dispersed through the trap-door, Israel Murray arose and handed to the secretary a paper resembling resem-bling a warrantee deed, and in a cnttnml whisper requested that the document be read aloud, as he was afraid of exposing his . lungs to the diphtheria-like odor emanating from the north-east corner of the cellar where the . last shipment of tithing potatoes from Sanpete was piled up. The paper was an essay on the silver sil-ver question and read as follows : "De prerambel and rezolushuns hereinafter here-inafter provided is ment as an exhibition on de part ob dis assoshiashun to show dat nuthin shoart ob an unlimited coinage coin-age will receibe de suppoart ov dis people. peo-ple. Foah why? Fust, bekase dar hathe bin an unsiffishency ov dis meejum amung de indigent masses ob d norm- I luss since time was not,, an de cry ob untold millyuns hath 'scended up over ensign peak demandin moan ob dis Incur dan de Treszury ob ne nashun hath heah-to-foah shelled out. Am de hart-rending hart-rending peels and criun in de wilderness ov dese quintillions ob poah, half-ded crutchers who hab neber owned a frack-8hun frack-8hun of 'nnff silver dollahs to pervide foah dar famlies sumpchuslv and pay dere tithin am dese 'peels, I say, gwine to be 'lowed to . reverberate back wid emptiness and bitterness on dis peoples Will Butler Johnson, Jay Gould and a few udder miliynnares hav dare car-lodes ob well gotten gain stoed awavin volts a heap bigger dan dis cellar hoose festuned rafters are now gazing down on us in silent awe.. Decryob too much silver my brederin, is all well 'huff foah dese city Wall street dead broke-ers, but dat won't buy grub foah dese numberless nsin generashun dat's groin up roun us, an-doze bloated bond holders would dry up .quicker dan de orchards on de norf bench if dey're eyes could be pride open todeze facks. I dare foah sigjest dat Homespun Jensen and Kernel Pickwick Sneddon be set apart' and consecrated r ia rLde undergrown bee line route to de White House, and de tn oni,; to de postmaster ob de interium de post mortem facks as hereinafter setfoarth and not to turn dere backs to de capitate till dey hav gainsayed de promise dat sil? ber, de gloary, de hope, de desire ob ebery poah and indigent member ob dis repubhek, is forced to de posishun where dose wite, picturesk, dollahs obde daddies will be coined and circulated widout limit. . Yours fur helth,, . Israel Murray." At the conclusion of the essay, which was read with true T. B. Lewisonian elo- I quence, the chairman announced that information had been received from Ma-rom Ma-rom Agramonte that he was freezing outside out-side the door and the meeting would therefore stand adjourned for one week and Sebastopol Ringwood was requested t0 deliver a red-hot benediction that would thaw out the doorkeeper. A the assemblage arose and was about to disperse, dis-perse, the chairman shouted "De brederin' will please' cum next Saturday eben n' duly prepared to s?and off a reasonable 'nitiashun fee. Wedder Brudder Murray's silver-bill passes or not, dese ddapidated tallow candleTwiU hab to be replenished, an' de sekrete ry will require a slate to take de minits on I |