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Show Man in Search of Hotel Room Applicant. Can I get a suite? Clerk. You're in the wrong line; the psycopathic cases are in that other one. i Applicant. I'm not crazy; I'm ' Just over-planning. Clerk. Please stop annoying me. . Applicant. Very well, I want to be reasonable ... I'll forget the . suite and take a double room with i bath. Clerk. You just wish to be real fair? ' I Applicant. That's It. I might ; even consider a single. Clerk. For what week next July? , Applicant. Don't make it that dif- j ficult. I've got to have a place to sleep tonight. Clerk. Anybody who sleeps here tonight has been booked since Pearl Harbor. Applicant. There must have been somebody cancel since that j time. I Clerk. There is no such thing as a cancellation any more. If a man decides not to come he raffles off his reservation. Applicant (confidentially). Listen, Lis-ten, I have a reservation. I wrote in four months ago. Clerk. What was the name? Applicant. Eisenhower. Clerk. There are 26 Eisenhowers here now. Applicant. Come to think ol it, my name is Chester Bowles. Clerk. We have 11 Chester Bowles, 18 Genera Marshalls and 7 MacArthurs ahead of you. Applicant. You look like a feller I went to school with back in Ansonia. Clerk. That's an old one. Applicant. How's your mother? Clerk. That's been tried, too. Applicant. What of democ-cracy? democ-cracy? ... the pursuit of life, liberty lib-erty and indoor sleeping? Clerk. Don't rub it in. I tell you flatly there are no rooms. Applicant. Then why do they put clerks at these windows? Clerk. We're being DISCIPLINED! DISCI-PLINED! THOUGHTS IN A HOUSING CRISIS The woodchuck now seems smart to me On me he has the laughter: He digs himself a winter home And pulls the thing in after! I'm even jealous of the skunk His odor I'm forgivin': I'd gladly smell that way if I Could dig a place to live in. The housing crisis has reached a point where it is suggested that "Tenting Tonight" or "Home, Sweet Home" was an American folk song. Six Argentina autoists have completed com-pleted a trip from Buenos Aires' to New York by automobile over the Pan American highway. They report the most disturbing feature of the 1 trip to have been those constant cracks, "Hey, where do you think you're going?" The German general staff ranked Ike Eisenhower as the greatest military mili-tary man on our side, with Patton the most feared commander in the field. They reached the conclusion upon recovering consciousness. I ' ' Elmer Twitchell is writing a book 'about congress. Title: "Forever Yammer." Henry Ford is considering an annual an-nual wage for employees instead of a weekly one. Under such a plan a worker will know that there will be no season of the year when he will be driving in neutral. j The Office of Price Stabilization says the cost of living increase since January, 1941, has been 33 per cent. You can tell from this that it hasn't tried to buy an apple pie. a pair of socks, a bathtub faucet or toy for Junior in all that time. I ! Barney Oldfield has remarried the wife he divorced almost a quarter of a century ago. The old models are the best. . i MacArthur's war criminals hunt Is now so close to the throne that Emperor Hirohito must feel as if he were sitting on one of those dis- ; appearing chairs at Steeplechase Park. There is every indication that among their New Year resolutions for 1946 many people took a pledge to give up working. 5 Travel Note Let grandma tote the suitcase. Let baby fetch and carry, ! For now, aslas, the Red Cap ' Is purely legendary. 1 The sentence Imposed on Yama-shita Yama-shita ends the philosophy of the Japs that no noose is good news. One billion, three hundred and six million dollars were bet on horses at the tracks this year. This is not hard to explain: Horses were " the only things not hard to get. |