Kathleen Norris Says: You Should Spoil Your Family (Bell Syndicate WNU Service.) A wife told me once that when her husband said to her, early in their married life, "I never heard you say a cheap or mean thing about anyone" she made up her mind that he never would. WE NEED LOVE NOW With the world apparently going to pieces around us, we need love now more than ever. And Kathleen Norris believes that "spoiling" your family just means loving them, giving giv-ing them a little more, rather than a little less, attention than necessary, and trying to give them what they want, not what you want them to want. No one can be really happy without love, and the poor man who has an adoring wife is far richer than the man of means whose wife regards her marriage to him merely as a stepping stone to social success. suc-cess. And the happy man or woman is prepared to face an uncertain future with the hope and courage that only love can give tiem. Here is a letter that may have a suggestion in it for some wives. It comes from a Chicago husband; he is 40, the wife two years younger; they have two small boys. "Marie is a fine cook and a good manager," he writes, "and we own our small home. The boys go to public school; we can pay our bills, and though my wife is pretty much of a home body we do coax her out to picnics or movies now and then. But she's so darned b-l-u-e! And I don't know what to do about it. "She sits silent at the table, sometimes some-times sighing. Or if she quotes a headline it's always a depressing one. When she sends the boys off to school she says Jim is just like her father, completely irresponsible, and that she hopes Ned isn't starting another cold. The Brown's are losing los-ing their lovely place; they think what Anna has is cancer; it looks as if Harry and Margaret were going to get a divorce. "Customarily my wife begins the day on a long groan. While I'm half-asleep I hear her 'Oh, dear, Tuesday again! I ought to see Mabel; Ma-bel; she's been home a week. Oh, dear, that means we ought to ask them here, and the rug isn't back. You never can trust those people. Oh, rain again. No wonder the children chil-dren get colds. Now I suppose eggs will go up. I hate and despise this sort of a day. I'm afraid you're going go-ing to have a stupid birthday, dear. I hate to go to the bother of making mak-ing a cake because you're on a diet and it's bad for the boys, and 1 don't know what to give you I'd so much rather you'd pick yourself a present.' By KATHLEEN NORRIS DO YOU spoil your family? fam-ily? You should. These are terrible times when we need everything that love can do for us; we need to hold on to love, to go on believing be-lieving in it. And spoiling is love. Love fulfills the law. It is all that human hearts need. A man may be rich, popular, young, successful. But if his wife doesn't love him he can't possibly be a happy man. He may think he can win to happiness hap-piness by divorcing his wife, making a highly satisfactory arrangement for his children, finding a more affectionate woman. But nine times out of ten he marries exactly the same type of woman, just as cold and calculating as the first. So that doesn't work. Another man may be poor. He may not be a great success in business. busi-ness. Other men may be stepped up over his head, and there may be doctors' bills and filial obligations always ready to jeopardize the budget. budg-et. But if in his little house there is abundance of loving; children racing rac-ing to meet him; an old mother smiling smil-ing as she puts the forks and glasses on the supper table; a sweet woman turning from the gas stove for his homecoming kiss, that man is rich. Must Be Preserved. Love is no accident. It is life's inexhaustible miracle. But it has to be preserved, held sacred. When a woman regards her marriage as merely a springboard to social success, suc-cess, clothes, entertainment, flirtationssham flirta-tionssham is the sham gold she pays for her improved position. But when it is real marriage, when the wife feels that, having chosen, she has sealed her fate, she puts real love into it. And the difference is that between the poles. Spoiling his family means, for a man, sometimes to consider their point of view; to try to put himself into his wife's place, into his children's chil-dren's places, and think of what they, want from him; what would make them happy. Instead of merely mere-ly shoving his hand into his pocket and giving her some money, let him add a little sympathetic interest inter-est to' the money. Just saying, "Don't you get awfully tired catering cater-ing to us, Mary?" or "I notice Mummy Mum-my isn't getting much out of that for herself!" will make her heart fly up like a bird. A wife told me once that when her husband said to her, early in their married life, "I never heard you say a cheap or mean thing about anyone, darling," she quietly made up her 20-year-old mind that he never would. To have Dad take a tender interest in a small boy's homework, or say sympathetically, "What can I do to keep you from worrying about that, Mummy?" is to insure happiness to one woman, anyway. Avoid Lamentations. The wife's job of spoiling the family fam-ily means only being kind. Not nervous, not critical, not eager to retail all the bad, depressing, frightening fright-ening news possible at the end of tiie day, but looking serenely ahead to better times, and unafraid to go forward. It is an absolute duty for us all to refrain from lamentations and vain regrets now; to keep up our hearts; not to cry until we're hurt Wife Is Not Well. "This goes on indefinitely, and I'm sure it's bad for all of us," the letter let-ter ends. "Will you make a suggestion sug-gestion that may cheer a good, kind, devoted wife? And thanks in advance. ad-vance. Jay Bee." Well, my first suggestion, "Jay Bee," is that your wife isn't well. She's showing every symptom of sluggish insides. I know this isn't either a romantic or a popular solution, solu-tion, but if she can get her system to working perfectly, her spirits will rise with every mile she walks. It is almost impossible to be depressed de-pressed if one is in really good health. Just utter wellness, such as small children sometimes feel. Then no future seems alarming, and no duty anything but a joy, and the whole world sings. Rain is a miracle, mira-cle, snow a breath-taking delight, and the power and opportunity to serve one's own beloved ones an unending joy.