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Show OF YE OLD TYME Humorous Description of Thanksgiving Thanks-giving Celebration Soma Difference Between the Observance Observ-ance of the Day Then and the Festivities of Today, i I'm::! picking the stuffing out of a wild turkey to kicking the stuffing out of a wild football player, Thanksgiving day observance has undergone a decided de-cided change, even within the ken of the present writer, who, at that, is quite old enough to gain a permanent home among the mummies at the Metropolitan Me-tropolitan Museum of Art, Roy K. Moulton writes In the New York Evening Eve-ning Mall. There were days away back In Puritan times when people had a lot to be thankful for and enough sense to be thankful for It. It Is still true that a portion of our great metropolitan metro-politan population find time to render thanks In the old-fashioned style, but the rah-rah Thanksgiving has been with us some twenty years now, and It soems to be gaining momentum. In the old days they used to leave a platter strewn with the bones of wild turkey, and now It Is the general custom cus-tom to leave the gridiron strewn with arms, legs, ears and other more or less Important Impedimenta. The history of a Thanksgiving day used to be set down by the church clerk, and now It Is set down In Jazz by the sporting writer, all of which goes to show that civilization Is moving, mov-ing, though we can't always decide which way. Ye Olde Tyme Thanksgiving. "Know ye all men by thefe prefentf : "That L Makepeace Wharburton, governor, do nominate Thurfday, ye twenty-flxth of November, to be a day of thankfglvlng and a day of prayer pray-er In remembrance of the great bleff-mgs bleff-mgs we have received during the paft year. All and fundry of the poi.ula-tlon poi.ula-tlon are ordered to attend fervlce and profoundly render thankf for peace and profperlty or pay penalty on the pillory, the ducking ftool or the ftocks. "MAKEPEACE WHARBURTON, "Governor." Those were the days of real Thanksgivings. Thanks-givings. Peleg Prouty did not have to go to a butcher shop and barter his soul, his house and lot and his Ford for a turkey. He kissed his wife. Prudence, Pru-dence, and the kids good-by for maybe the last time, and set forth for a wild turkey. He carripd over his shoulder an 85-pound blunderbuss with a sprinkler sprin-kler attachment on the muzzle which would scatter shot over a fair sized township and would kick Peleg for a goal when It went off. If the Indians got a bead on him first It was goodnight good-night turkey. a"d If he got a bond on them first the sprinkler attachment en- abled him to put the raspberry on eight or ten of them at once. If Peleg got home all right with the wild turkey they had a Thanksgiving. If he didn't they had a funeral. The frjnlly would go to church In the momlTig and arrive there with several sev-eral arrows sticking throush their clothes and hats, and after good old Elder Hudnat had preached for four hours and 4 half and finally stopped, the congregation had something to be thankful for. When the feast was ready, Peleg. his wife Prudence, and the children. Steadfast, Charity, Prosper. Faith. Cromwell and Whetstone, seated themselves them-selves about the table, the room would suddenly fill with smoke for the rrnson that there would r an Indian atting a tin chimney top trying to smoke I them out and glum the turkey and Peleg"s flagon of firewater. Indians Took Part. Peleg would nonchalantly wander over to the fireplace and throw a handful hand-ful of gunpowder Into It and the Indian In-dian would make a dash for the creek near by, angrily pursued by his burning burn-ing breechclout. Peleg would return to the fest and say, "For what we are about to receive let us be truly thankful." And he received it quickly. A noble redman poked his arm through the window and firmly nicked Peleg on the bean with a tom-myhawk. tom-myhawk. Being a hard-headed Purl-tan, Purl-tan, Peleg would go on with his dinner din-ner after throwing the tommyhawk back over his shoulder and catching Mr. Shlnnecock just below the Adam's apple. The afternoon was given over to meditation and reflection. Celebration of Today. But nowadays they gather In some Jazz restaurant and the host says: "For what we haven't had during the past year under the Volstead act, let us be ," well, anyhow, something like that. The waiter does not reach through the window and tap him with a tommyhawk, but he hits him for a J58.75 check and a $10 tip. And Instead of spending the afternoon after-noon In meditation and prayer, as Peleg did, his great-great-great-great-great-grandson sits In a grandstand with 15,000 other heretics and they yell: "Freshwater's got the ball I" "Freshwater, Freshwater, zip, boom, bah I Freshwater, Freshwater, rah, rah, rah P "Go It, Cornsllkl Now, boys, the Cornsllk locomotive: "Uah-rah-rah-rah-rah-rah-rah Cornsllk, Corn-sllk, Cornsllk hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hoorah I" And after the game Peleg's descendant descend-ant accompanies a young flapper to a hotel for dinner, where he gets a piece of turkey through which he can read the name of the cafe and make out its coat-of-arms In the center of the plate and calls It a feed. The only folks funnier than the old ones are the new ones. |