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Show BOY'S POOR FOURTH For Various Reasons Bobby Didn't Enjoy Day That Is Meant to Be Enjoyed. Declaration of Independence and Tea Played a Part Last Year, But This Year Youngster Has Determined Deter-mined to Make Another Declaration. 1 ULY 3, 11:20 p. m. Long T W past bedtime, and I'm aw-B aw-B m ful, . awful sleepy. Asked Aunt Jane long ago if I Alffl couldn't go to bed, so as aJ'X to be up early on the """" Fourth, but Uncle Hab-akkuk Hab-akkuk he just raised his eyebrows, and Aunt Jane she said: "Pretty soon, Bobby; keep awake a while longer, dearie; then you can sleep right through until breakfast time, and the unseemly sounds which erroneously erroneous-ly are linked with the birth of our independence" in-dependence" this is a regular Aunt Jane talk, this is "will not disturb your rest." Hope they give me some crackers tomorrow. They will, I guess not. What did pop send me up here for, anyway? July 4, 8:20 a. m. Darn it! Slept right through till breafast time, just as Aunt Jane said I would. Looked out the window and saw Uncle Habak-kuk. Habak-kuk. He was calling a boy down for firing off a cap pistol just outside the gate. I can see myself getting crackers crack-ers out of him! 8:35 a. m. What's this coming? Aunt Jane just knocked on my door and said it w'as high time we were celebrating. cel-ebrating. Maybe they've got some firecrackers fire-crackers for me, after all; a few packs of those unseemly sounds which are errone-what-d'yer-call-it linked with the birth of our independence would come in mighty handy now. Told Aunt Jane I'd be down in a second. O.T m TTTn -n.n'T.n i o . tii a., m. tcu, gvg uccu celebrating cele-brating all right. We'd begin the day, Aunt Jane said, with patriotic songs, so we went in the parlor and Aunt Jane sat down at the melodeon pop says he remembers that melodeon when he was a boy. Aunt Jane sang "America;" she and Uncle Habakkuk duetted on "The Star Spangled Banner," Ban-ner," and then they made me sing that crazy song in our school book. "How can I serve my coun try best? Is it by taking sword in h-h-hand?" I could see a crowd gathering outside the fence, and somebody threw a lighted cannon cracker on the porch. Also, it blew six branches off the honeysuckle hon-eysuckle and made an awful unseemly sound. 9:15 a.m. Breakfast. Afteritwas over, Uncle Habakkuk kept me half an hour at the table while he talked about William Pitt's part in parliament's parlia-ment's repeal of the hated stamp act. 10 a. m. Out on the front lawn. Uncle Habakkuk read the Declaration of Independence to Aunt Jane and me, and Aunt Jane told me how once, when she was a girl, she went to Fan-euil Fan-euil hall, Philadelphia, and saw the very pen that Benjamin Hancock wrote with when he wrote the words: "By the infernal! The Union must and shall be preserved!" 10:50 a. m. Some boys down the street set off four packs of giant crackers in an old tin washboiler. Uncle Habakkuk saw me looking at them, so he said: "Bobby, come in the house with me, I've something I want to show you." 11:30 a. m. Uncle Habakkuk has been reading me some statistics he calls them. They show that since the B'ourth of July, 1776, there have been 1,605,443 fingers blown off by celebrations, cele-brations, 863,401 eyes blackened, 5,-300,062 5,-300,062 eardrums ruined, and do you think, Bobby, in the face of these eloquent elo-quent facts, it is wise to encourage boys in such er pernicious folly? No, sir; I I guess not, sir. Sensible lad! I thought you would agree with me! 12:30 p. m. Lunch; somehow I hadn't much of an appetite. When Aunt Jane said I should take a nap immediately after eating, I had less. 4:25 p. m. Well, I've had my nap. Once, when 1 was awful sick, they gave me something or other to make me sleep. Wish I had some here. I'd take a pound of it. Say, but this is a glorious Fourth. 5:30 p. m. What do you s'pose I found when I got downstairs again? Three sticks of punk and a' box of safety matches. Aunt Jane said she'd talked it over with Uncle Habakkuk, and she didn't think that a boy, brought up as I had been, should be deprived entirely of the amusements he had been used to this is more of Aunt Jane kind of talk so Uncle Habakkuk Hab-akkuk got the punk and the matches. Yes, and I've been sitting on the porch lighting matches with punk and punk with matches for over an hour. Maybe May-be tonight, if I behave myself real well, and don't make unseemly sounds, Uncle Habakkuk '11 let me throw , his cigar stump in the gutter and play it's a cannon cracker or a roman candle. 6:15 p. m. Aunt Jane says we won't have tea tonight only a bite on the porch out of respect for the patriots who refused to drink it at the time of the Boston tea caddy. 7:05 p. m. Asked Uncle Habakkuk and Aunt Jane if I couldn't go to the town park and see the rockets. They said no; I might be hit by a stick. Ain't it the limit? 8 p. m. Well, we've had our bite, and we've been singing, "Three Cheers for the Red, White and Blue," in the parlor. Felt like cheering. I did. 8:50 p. m. Aunt Jane read the Declaration Dec-laration of Independence. Her eyesight's eye-sight's bad and there was something matter with the lamp, so it took her 'mncf an Kitir n it TTnnla Mnh- akkuk's asleep in the shiny black armchair, arm-chair, making unseemly sounds with his nose. I can hear a whole lot of unseemly sounds down at the town park bully ones. 9:15 p. m. In bed. I sneaked there by myself. Uncle's asleep yet. So's aunt. The parlor lamp went out ten minutes ago. Next time pop wants me to come up here for the Fourth, I'll read a Declaration of Independence and beat Benjamin Hancock's declaia-tion declaia-tion all to toothpicks! Puck. |