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Show PERSONS WHO WEAR GLASS SLIPPERS . . . Cinderella Is Wooed by a Devaluated Prince . . . SHOULD NEVER THROW THEIR SHOES By H. I. PHILLIPS ONCE UPON A TIME there was a man who married for his second sec-ond wife one of the haughtiest women wom-en in the world. She had two daughters of her own who were a pair of fine meanies. She had a stepdaughter of unparalleled goodness good-ness and beauty. She was called Cinderella. Her stepsisters kept her at the meanest work. They rrnr)n hnr :Wp in an old aban doned thirty-room showplace which nobody wanted while they had things easy in a $25,000 four-room ranch house, with no garage. The king gave a great ball to which he Invited everybody of prominence, Including the two sourpuss sisters. They got themselves up like Mrs. As-tor's As-tor's pet , ponies and paraded before Cinderella, who, after they flounced off, said, "I wish I could go to a great ball." Instantly her fairy godmother appeared. "These great balls are not what they used to be," she said. "Before "Be-fore you get in you will have to take chances on a couple of automobiles and maybe a dream house. And there will be be-bop music. Still, If you wish to go . . ." "Oh, I do," said Cinderella. "Fetch me a pumpkin, then," said the fairy godmother. Pumpkins were pretty high, as the government had underwritten under-written them, or something, but she got one, "Get me a mousetrap, a rat and six lizards," said the fairy godmother. "I wanna go to a ball, not an animal show," warned Cinderella. Cinder-ella. The fairy godmother had a wand, a book on economics by Sir Stafford Staf-ford Cripps and several speeches by government experts, so she was able to convert the pumpkin, mice, etc., into a coach with white horses, a coachman and six attendants. Whisk! And Cinderella was off to the ball before anybody could arrive ar-rive to demand that she pay luxury taxes on the whole business. She was the most ravishing dish at the ball. The king's son went for her in a big way at once, much to Cinderella'-s discomfiture. She was a smart cookie. (This could get serious. A prince would have loads of money, and she knew what that meant these days. He would have to spend all his days figuring out how he stood and all his nights checking to see if there had been anything new from Sir Stafford Cripps.) Suddenly the great clock struck. "Twelve," said Cinderella. "Eleven," said the prince. "Ten," said the king. "My goodness, one can't figure anything these days," said Cinderella, Cinder-ella, taking it on the lam. (She had to take a taxi. The coachman, the big rat, had struck for more money and all the lizards hai walked out in sympathy.) Well, to make a long story worse, she was not through with the prince and the problems prob-lems of having everything. She had left a glass slipper. The prince searched the whoh land until he found that the slippei fitted Cinderella, and was he glac when he discovered she was reallj a working girl and hadn't a thii dime! It meant less bookkeeping. He proposed and Cinderella ac cepted, saying, "I suppose I coulc have done worse. Look at all thosf girls who win givaway programs!'1 So she married the prince, whe got back to the palace just in time to find the pound had been deval ued again and he wasn't wort! very much which meant, after all, a life of comparative tranquillity. "The outer burlap covering 'of the Peruvian mummy was swipped away by Dr. Carrion and Dr. Bird while 60 scientists watched." News item. Carrion and Bird didja say, 01 is somebody snoofinT? Gov. Dewey has come out with a letter Indorsing vaudeville. "I remember H fondly as a popular form of entertainment," he says. Come, come, Thomas, you can't top Harry's vaudeville statement with anything as coo) and general as that. What knockabout knock-about acts do you recall? Did you ever usher in a theater? I YE GOTHAM BUGLE AND BANNER You can't tell Ben Whitaker, whose My Request and Miss Request won two big handicaps in succession, that 13 is an unlucky number. . . . He bought one of the parents, Requested, for $1300 on the 13th of the month and on Saturday Miss Request's weight was 113 pounds .... He's gonna name the next colt Thirteen and hope that the unlucky number happens to pay off. |