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Show Kathleen Norris Says: How Many Women Are Making This Woman's Mistake? (Bell Syndicate WOT Service.) "Tfce unfortunate result of our change has slowly affected Louise. She has grown silent and depressed." By KATHLEEN NORRIS "W TE HAVE been able to A keep our heads above water, but just above water," writes a Pennsylvania Pennsylva-nia woman. "For the past ten years money matters have been a constant anxiety to my husband and myself. Not for ourselves, but for our daughter, daugh-ter, who is now 21. Ten years ago Louise had everything, she attended a smart private school, went about with a very nice crowd of girls, and naturally nat-urally supposed that her life was to fall into pleasant lines. "Then came the crash, which affected my husband seriously. We were buying our home; that had to be sacrificed. sac-rificed. We moved to a small but nice hotel apartment, promising Louise that it was but temporary, but we have found it a great struggle to maintain even this much of an appearance. Much service serv-ice is included in the rent, but which she would probably marry. But my husband, although devoted to her, refuses to consider this. What do you think of this plan? It would be only for a few years. Later we could move into much less expensive quarters and, by economizing, repay re-pay the entire sum by degrees. My husband sympathizes with her and with me, but he is not at home all day, to struggle with her apathy and unhappiness, and consequently I feel that he does not fully understand. Please advise and help if you can. Louise's Mother." Poor Louise's Mother, and Louise's Lou-ise's Father, and Louise! One hardly hard-ly knows which to pity most; the father, gallantly struggling not only to support them now, but trying also to lay aside enough insurance to care for them should he drop in his tracks; or the pretentious, superficial super-ficial mother who never has learned anything of the true values of living; or Louise, spoiled and idle and discontented, dis-contented, destroying by her own young ignorance and selfishness the years that might be the happiest of her life. An Unhappy Household. What a wretched failure that boxed-up little apartment in the hotel ho-tel must be! Dad tired and discouraged; discour-aged; one of the million men who were deceived by false prosperity tips to elevator boys, porters, chambermaids.window washers, wash-ers, waiters, amount to more than the price of one good servant in a private home. Janitors and delivery boys must be remembered regularly, and as no laundry work is permitted in the before the crash, who never really deserved the high positions and high salaries to which national prosperity swept them, and who will never get back again. Mother straining every nerve, physical, mental, social, to keep up appearances; to maintain her diminished household upon the scale that luckier women can attain at-tain with no worry at all; to secure for Louise friends, amusements, clothes all just a little too expensive. And Louise, hating the small rooms, hating the small salary, hating her clothes and her parents and above all herself. There the three are, tied together, failing each other on every count, destroying each other and themselves like three unhappy animals in a cage. Here is a family where a definite readjustment is absolutely ab-solutely necessary. Louise's mother ought to lift that load from the man of the house by moving immediately to smaller, cheaper quarters, to an unfashionable unfashiona-ble neighborhood and a $25 rent, and Louise ought to lift herself and her problems from the shoulders of both parents by getting a job, any job. There would be a real adventure adven-ture for all three, a stimulating change, a re-birth of affection and confidence between them all. His wife ought to convince this worried, struggling man that two healthy women can get along in this world without draining the life-blood from a fellow-creature to do it, and the daughter ought to begin to bring into the group not only financial assistance, as-sistance, but cheerful daily reports, healthy contributions to the conversation conver-sation at the dinner table, bracing reactions to her first contact with realities. Change in Living, Thinking Needed. Louise's mother probably doesn't know it, but once she was removed from the misery and humiliation of constant contrast with women luckier than herself, she would find life extremely pleasant. Among humbler neighbors she might find herself considered the fortunate one, the women to copy and admire. Social So-cial standards are poor things, if they inspire us to extravagance and idleness and envy. Far better to get into the open air of honest work after so many years shut into the unhealthy hothouse of having to do what the Joneses do. As for borrowing money to bolster bol-ster up Louise's delusions of grandeur gran-deur and idleness, that would be sheer madness, and would wreck whatever chance is left to escape from the net house that is an additional expense. Indeed, everything we do costs money mon-ey and with a $55 rent taken from a salary of about $225 a month even my most careful management leaves little for pleasures for Louise. Lou-ise. She cannot entertain very much; we no longer have a car, and of course her clothes are simple and few. My husband was quite ill last March, aind although he is now well again, he dreads another breakdown and has taken out more insurance than it is comfortable for our family fami-ly to properly handle under the circumstances cir-cumstances in which we now find ourselves. Daughter Depressed. "The unfortunate result of our change in position has slowly affected af-fected Louise. At first she attempted attempt-ed to keep up with her old friends, and as most of their families had suffered too, this was not hard. But now many have drifted away, or have regained their old prosperity, and she feels keenly that she cannot keep pace with them. She cannot drive about, buy clothes, join country coun-try clubs, and although she did take a position for a short while in a fashionable frock shop, she was unable un-able to stand the physical strain and had to give it up. Many of the nicest girls, and indeed, some of the wealthiest in town, have done this, so that she felt no embarrassment embarrass-ment in trying it, but it was too hard. "She is extremely pretty and unusually un-usually bright and attractive, or was so. For she has grown silent and depressed now, and I have consulted a doctor and a psychopath about her. There is nothing organically wrong, but she does not sleep, takes small interest in anything, and has long fits of the blues. If I could I would send her on a long trip about the world, hoping the change of scene and contact with new friends would shake her out of her depression, depres-sion, but that is impossible now for many reasons. Does Loan Offer Solution? "I have seriously considered going go-ing to wealthy friends and borrowing borrow-ing sufficient money to re-establish ourselves in a handsome home again, give her the sort of life to |
