| OCR Text |
Show Cy about: Yesterday'! Literary Lights. HOLLYWOOD, CALIF. The other day Finley Peter Pe-ter Dunne passed away. Thirty years ago his articles meant each week a roar of joy as wide as the continent. His books sold enormously; his country properly prop-erly acclaimed him its greatest satiric sa-tiric humorist. Yet I'll venture not one In five of the on-coming generation gener-ation ever heard his name, and we thought the fame of "Mr. Dooley" was eternal Mary Johnston, who wrote some of the most distinguished novels of her time, also died recently. In the papers I saw she rated only a brief paragraph. Slower than Americans to give their love to man or woman, the TCncrllsh remain In fir I sentiment wedded to the idol rom then on. The marriage mar-riage between popularity pop-ularity and merit lasts till death doth them part But, we, who elevate a favorite fa-vorite to a pedestal pedes-tal overnight, forget for-get that favorite overnight. We make an ardent sweet-Irvln sweet-Irvln S.Cobb heart, an Impetuous Impetu-ous bride, but a most Inconstant spouse. "Simplified" Revenue Bills. CONGRESS is wrestling with the ' new "simplified" revenue bill, having simplified it down to a mere sixty-odd thousand words about the length of a fair-sized summer novel. But the plot Is different and having made its provisions so clear and lucid that you may read It backward or forward, you seem to get practically the same result either way. It may yet be necessary to call in Professor Einstein to elucidate It If he can explain his theory of relativity and the professor still asserts he can he might be willing to tackle the Job. Anyhow, the ultimate outcome and ln this connection I certainly like that word "outcome" must be that congress will find a method further to lighten pocketbooks. Where the League's Headed. TN SPITE of what's happened J. lnfnln .--.i. . ... . laicij, uuB yersistem: mst-aiicner and forlorn-hoper among the British Brit-ish diplomats insists the League of Nations, to quote his own words, is "a going concern." Xes, but where? Makes me think of a little yarn a man told me: "Fifteen of us," he said, . "were waiting our turns to buy tickets one hot night at Grand Central station. All at once a gentleman, far overtaken ln alcohol, forced his way to the head of the line, using his head to butt with and his elbows to paddle with, and emptied emp-tied his pockets of some small change, and slapped it down on the shelf and yelled: 'Gimme a ticket to Buffalo 1' '"This all the money yon got?' demanded the man behind the wicket - " 'Xes.' "Why, you can't go to Buffalo for a dollar and forty cents.' "Well, where can I go, then?" said the stew. "And1 with one voice all fifteen of us told him." G-Man Hoover's Efficiency. Y"0 can't help liking the fel-A fel-A low's style of repartee. "And what's a person named Hoover doing to justify his hanging hang-ing on with this administration?" or words to that general effect, says Senator McKeller, of old Tennessee brightly. "'Scuse me, massa," murmurs mur-murs J. Edgar, reaching for his hat and handcuffs. "Ah won't be gone long, boss." And Inside of a week or two he drifts in, strumming strum-ming a plantation tune on his G-string G-string and, by gum, lf he Isn't towing tow-ing a whole mess of public enemies. ene-mies. That's what I call an apt retort, or, as the purists would put It, a snappy comeback. Yellow Public Enemies. XTHAT la it has turned them from cop-klUlng bravos Into quivering wretches who cower In hiding like mice behind a wainscot who flinch like trapped rabbits when they're smoked out, who whine like whipped cur-dogs for a chance to plead guilty? Oan it be because, Instead of courageous but Inexperienced local officers, they now face trained man-hunters who'd rather destroy such human vermin than eat pie? Or la It because. Instead of going to trial In state courts where unscrupulous un-scrupulous shysters may trick dazed Jurors Into showing mistaken mercy and where, even though convicted there s nothing ahead worse than temporary detention in some criminal-coddling retreat with sentl mental meddlers to pamper them and mush-minded parole boards waiting to free them, now they get a full measure of stern justice from federal judges and go to real prisons, to stay there hurrah ' IRVIN S. COBB. Copyright. WNU Service. |