OCR Text |
Show o JMJmhd about The Fair Sex BOHEMIAN GROVE, CALIF. Up here in the Bohemian club's grove where, during the summer encampment, encamp-ment, no women are allowed either at large or on the leash, I've been thinking about their little peculiarities. If two women were cast away on a desert island with just each other t$ ' "-.: for company, and ) after, let's say, ten 1 or fifteen years, the I rescue steamer ar-I ar-I rived, they'd both j be half way up the 1 gangplank before j either remembered the really important impor-tant things she'd been intending all along to say to her companion; and no ' matter if the tide Irvin S. Cobt were falling and the wind rising, they'd stop right there in their tracks and thresh it all out If you doubt this, see what happens hap-pens when a pair of them are swapping good-bys, after an all-day all-day conversation, on finishing a long chatty motor trip together. If they can find a narrow doorway where they'll block traffic, that's where they'll halt always. It's a curious sex, any way you take it. But we men keep on taking it and liking it I don't know whether wheth-er we're dumt or numb. Must be one or the other. Chip Off the Old Block. CELEBRATING his fifth birthday the other day, my small grandson grand-son and namesake met another gentleman of like age who bragged that his nurse brought him to the party in a car. "Can your mama drive a car?" inquired the guest "No," answeredmy descendant, "but I'm going to teach her. x All you do is start off and keep going till you have to stop, and then you say, 'Damn those red lights.' " It would appear that Cobby has been listening to his grandfather. Praising King Edward. IF HE was a Communist of a breed who are usually half-baked half-baked mentalities, it was only to be expected that his effort to murder mur-der King Edward should be thank heavens a fizzle. If he was a lunatic, then he's the kind of lunatic who should spend the rest of his days behind high walls. If he was a deliberate assassin as-sassin well, at least he gave a gallant monarch a chance to show how gallantly monarchs can behave be-have in the face of danger. Any man, given the royal back- I ground and an open path to the j throne, can be a king, but not ev- I ery king is a man. This king is ho proved it and this part of the world rejoices at the outcome. " The Troubles of Europe. WE MAY have our own troubles, trou-bles, including so many mounting taxes over the land and so much mountain music over the radio, but what with Spain rent by internal war, and France having hav-ing strikes which almost approxi-' mate war, and Poland threatening threaten-ing revolt against Nazi control of what laughably, is called the "Free" City of Danzig,, and the rest of them pretty generally stewing stew-ing in their respective political casseroles, cas-seroles, we're lucky. In fact I can think of but one thing the European nations have which we could use, but alas, will never get, needless to say. I refer I to the money they owe us. I ... How the League Performs. UNDER the rattle of the machine ' guns and the shrieks of the j victims as civil war flames across ; Spain, that faint creeping sound j which you hear, sounding something some-thing like a mouse in the, wainscoting, wainscot-ing, is the League of Nations taking tak-ing its customary prompt steps to enforce peace upon this and all other distracted countries whatsoever. whatso-ever. By the way, does anyone remember remem-ber when, once upon a bygone time, there was a war to end the persistent disease called war, a final war which forevermore would restore true democratic principles and motherly love to rival nations and embittered peoples? To date the result makes one almost despair de-spair of ever finding a cure for rny dandruff. IRVIN S. COBB. Copyright. WNU Service. |