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Show Eg ;irs Smiles Fr Doctor's Orders "I'm all out of sorts. The doc J tor said the only way to cure mv An rheumatism was to keep away ron from all dampness." U" "What's so tough about that?" "You don't know how silly it makes me feel to sit in an empty bathtub and go over myself with a vacuum cleaner." s With Great Pleasure A recently promoted army offl ? t cer received the following invita tion: "Mr. and Mrs. Anderson re! quest the pleasure of Captain VT Brown's company, at a reception I on Christmas eve at 7 p. m." f I On the appointed evening the captain showed up with 50 of his 1 men. MATCHLESS LUCK i 10Ib. "That teacup you broke yesterday yester-day can't be matched anywhere Mary!" "I'm lucky. I thought I should have to buy a new one." An Out " Customer (after being shown I,1 everything on the shelves) You have nothing else you can show me? ,v, Shopkeeper Only the door, madam! Little Johnny, aged seven, had been taken to the zoo to see the M animals. He stood before the cage of the spotted leopard for a few , i minutes staring intently. Then, ) turning to his mother, he asked: , "Say, Ma, is that the dotted lion that everybody wants Dad to sign ; on?" 1-' Sweets for Slenderizing Jane How did Smithson make all his money? , June O, he invented a choco- 'Tj':; late bonbon with lettuce center for women on a diet. Stray Stories. Prp |